Blogtoberfest 2014: Day 5 - When You Meet Your Tribe

I'm a bit of a hermit, which I quite openly admit to. I have never been part of a group of female friends who hang out together, have weekend getaways, and do Bible study together. While I have longed for it at times, it has never happened. Lately it has become a recurring theme. One that rises up periodically and I feel anxious about. So, I decided to ask God why that was the case, to which He replied that I am not supposed to be part of a group like that. I asked Him what it is then that I am supposed to be a part of. He told me to wait.

Yesterday the wait came to an end when I found my tribe. A tribe of women from all parts of both hemispheres. A tribe of women who are all travelling on a similar journey to me. A tribe of women who have decided that going to church while still loving Jesus isn't what they need. Yes, you read that right. Not going to church. Still loving Jesus. It's what is referred to as being a free-ranging Christian. My new tribe. 

It's taken me over 18 months to get to this point. I had been attending church regularly for over six and half years prior to that. Three churches actually. "Church hopping" as it was once referred to in a conversation with a friend. A reference that irked me at the time, and still irks me now because it's not about the church. It's about my relationship with Jesus. And that's why I am now a free-range Christian. I don't feel part of the current church establishment. I find it overwhelming. I find it suffocating. And after a revelation from God a number of years back, I find that the practise of devoting oneself entirely to one church and all its activities takes away from the true purpose that Jesus came to earth to live out as our example.

I grew up going to church and the church I attended as a child and teen was my home. I have very fond memories of this church and the relationship I had with everyone there, my involvement, and what I learned there. I miss it actually. I miss the fact that it was small and everyone knew each other and it was home. I think this fact alone has had a huge influence on why I have never felt completely part of a new church. Too big. Too many cliques. Too focused on this or that. You get the drift. 

Of the churches I have attended recently, I do have one particular church that I would still like to attend from time to time. It is because when I attended there I did not feel overwhelmed or suffocated, or alone for that matter. It is still a church establishment by today's standards, but Jesus is there. And I need Jesus more than I need to be a member of one particular church. More than I need to rock up and serve every Sunday. More than I need to devote my time to other Christians when there are so many others in my circle that need Jesus more.

From where I'm sitting right now while typing this, I have a 10 year old who needs Jesus. Looking out my window there are neighbours that need Jesus. When hanging out with my non-Christian friends I see a need for Jesus. And not a "let's invite you to church so you can meet Jesus" type thing. A tangible "Paula is a Christian but is still a really cool person to hang out with and respects who I am and accepts me for who I am and what I do" type Jesus. 

So, getting back to my new tribe. It's a group of women from around the globe who are all free-ranging Christians. Who have all had experiences that have resulted in them either leaving the church establishment or adjusting their views on theology, or both. And I am really thankful for this new group of kindred thinkers. I can be myself and not feel that I don't fit in. I can express my views without them being negated just because I am not doing what "everyone else" is doing. 

I am doing what God wants me to do. I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. I am closer to myself and God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit than I have ever been before. And it's good. It's home. And I have a tribe.

In Him Always,

Paula 

When Life Gets Messy...

I bet you can relate to that, right? When life gets messy and all the pieces don't seem to gel? I know I do. My life has become messy on many occasions, as yours most likely has done as well. The fact is that life will continue to get messy, then straighten itself out, and then get messy again because that's just how it is living on this earth. The good news, however, is that with Jesus in my life, the existence of a messy life it isn't as prolific. It isn't as disrupting. It is never as bad as before. And it can be like that for you too.

I like the word "messy" as a way of describing how life gets. Mandy Steward has embraced the word "messy" on her blog Messy Canvas. Mandy embraces her messy life. Her journey. The messy journey that she travels on. She encourages us to "move towards listening to our voice, standing on our two feet, owning our own life to the full and setting ourselves free." To embrace us, our lives, the journey, and the mess. After all, only Jesus is perfect. And Jesus bring freedom. Mandy also write how "The great thing about freedom is that there are always new levels of it to explore."

I like "messy".

mess·y

/ˈmɛsi/ [mes-ee]   

 adjective, mess·i·er, mess·i·est.

1. characterized by a dirty, untidy, or disordered condition: a messy room.

2. causing a mess: a messy recipe; messy work.

3. embarrassing, difficult, or unpleasant: a messy political situation.

4. characterized by moral or psychological confusion.

---

Origin:
1835–45; mess + -y¹

Related forms

mess·i·ness, noun

 

Dictionary.com describes various situations that we will find ourselves in that are messy. The room strewn with clothes. The kitchen sink piled with dirty dishes. The flour dusting on the benchtop. The paperwork covering the desk. The money left at home when the checkout is full of food. The words spoken that we regret once breathed out. The thoughts that race around on firing neurons. The respect that isn't given nor earned.

Life is messy. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

Thankfully we all have access to a God - The God - who is a Master Janitor. He is able to clear, sanitise, renew, clarify, tidy and clean up the messes that we are subjected to in this earthly life. We don't have to do this alone. We have someone who is All Powerful, All Knowing, and Not Messy!

Your life may be messy. There may be circumstances in your life where you feel there is no escape. That the mess cannot be cleaned up. That your situation will never improve. That your heart, soul and mind will never find clarity and peace.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7 NLT

Rest in Jesus. Ask the Lord God for help and guidance. Seek out His Holy Spirit to be the quiet yet loud voice in your head, guiding your heart to the right destination.

My life gets messy. God cleans it up. It gets messy again. God does it yet again. The best aspect in all of this? I get stronger. Life becomes clearer. Peace descends from the heavens and rests in my heart. God frees me from the mess the world creates once again.

God is good.

Standing In My Own Way...

I saw this on Facebook recently. I immediately emailed the photo to myself (as you do) and wrote the following:

Standing in my own way.
Not remembering His promise of redemption.
Taking the world's word over God's, etc

We are told many times in the Bible that through the blood of Jesus we will be washed whiter than snow. That our sins are forgiven.

Heather King reminds us here that "we are promised a new identity in Christ". We are made new.

It's an amazing promise.

But do you have times when you just don't feel like you've been "made new"? I know I certainly do, and seeing this quote from Heather King has made me really think about why.

My number one enemy (next to Satan, of course) is me. I stand in my own way. I cause myself many of the problems that I encounter. I am not good to myself. And I need to be. A friend's number one quote is "Be good to yourself". I understand why he says that. And I must remember to be.

Speaking of remembering, I must remind myself that I have been redeemed. Jesus didn't die on the cross for no reason at all. He didn't commit any sin. He died on the cross for a purpose, which is you and me. To die in place of our sins. To receive promise to spend eternity with Him.

I am redeemed. I am redeemed. I am redeemed.

And because I am redeemed, I have full access to all that God promised His people. That includes God Himself, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It includes the ability to pray at any given moment about any given thing. To have a conversation with Him. To be in an intimate relationship with Him.

It also includes inclusion into God's family. Adoption into a heavenly and holy family where peace and love and kindness and forgiveness and grace are normal. It means never having to be alone again. Never having to feel like we don't belong.

The privilege of having access to God's Living Word, the Bible. His book. His words written down over thousands of years by men who loved God, who knew Him and who saw first hand the amazing works and miracles He performed. The Word that speaks to us as we study it.

One thing that I know I as a Christian battles with the most is ignoring the world and its lies. Fighting a spiritual battle that wages between God and Satan with our souls as the prize. The battle that rages in our hearts and souls and will not end until after Jesus returns.

We must not stand in our own way.
We must remember our redemption
We must trust in God's Word only.

Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Amen.

No Longer Bound...

I read a blog post earlier today titled Unlearning by Joanne Sher at An Open Book. I found it an interesting post given that becoming a Christian doesn't mean that we instantly turn into new peace-filled and holy beings; we struggle and toil and fight the enemy and the old ways of our sinful life.

Joanne writes in her post that "Almost the entirety of the seventh chapter of his book to the Romans deals with breaking the sin habit, if you will." So I looked up Romans 7, where Paul writes about the woman whose husband died and she was then free to marry again. Paul used that example to illustrate how when we die in Christ (accept Him into our hearts as our Lord and Saviour) we also die to the power of the law (see Romans 7:4).

This concept has always blown me away, and I know it's because I am a mere human and I cannot reinvent myself to be holy without God, without Jesus, without the Holy Spirit.

I. CANNOT. DO. IT.

So how can I do it? How do I release myself from being bound to the law of my past?

It's a testing experience to free oneself from the bondage of evil when living in such an evil world. The world that wants to bring you down by constantly reminding you of your faults, your sins, and your failures. And that's where a life in Christ comes into it. By prayer, petition, meditating on and memorising His word, by having it written on my heart.

Living daily in this evil world is a constant battle. It's easy to just give up and go with the flow, but that's when the Holy Spirit convicts me of the change I made in my life. Of the freedom that following Jesus brings. Of the reality that I have been freed from the bondage of sin by the blood of Jesus Christ.

Unlearning a life filled with the habits of sin, the nature of sin that we were born with, is why Jesus died on the cross. It's why His blood was shed for us so that we can no longer be bound to the enemy.

Thank you Joanne for such a thought-provoking post!

BF2013: The Vacant Space...

The realisation of what God knew all along.

Vacant space within a pumping heart filled with His love.

A familiar voice whispering guidance to the willing ear.

 

The relief of what God felt all along.

Chambers beating faster with anticipation of release.

Words written and exuding the truth from a heavenly realm.

 

The response of what God heard all long.

The vacant space discovering the true and rightful occupant.

The blood spilled that in turn filled the pumping heart.

 

© Paula C. Whitehouse, 2013

BF2013: Believe...

I believe in God: in His magnificance, omnipotence and omnipresence. In His genuine, unchanging and complete love for me.

I believe in Jesus as my Saviour: that He died for my sins and rose from the dead so that I can have eternal life.

I believe in the Holy Spirit: of the indwelling of the Spirit within me to guide me and keep my paths straight.

I believe in the Cross: that on the two slabs of wood on which my Saviour bled and died for me, my salvation was assured.

I believe in the Bible: the Living Word, the guide to steer me through life on this earth, the lessons learnt and the words of comfort received from within its pages.

"I believe there is more than believing. There is living what I believe." - Ann Voskamp

PS: Post inspired by receiving the "Believe" plaque in the photo above as a gift today, and by Ann Voskamp's "What I Believe" on her Holy Experience web-site.

Learning...

The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. Relationships have ended. Dynamics of relationships have changed. I've changed. I've held onto the people who accept me - crazy and all - for who I am. I've let go of others. I've become very thankful for the ones from afar who, while not here to see the real deal that is my life, choose to stay part of my life despite the ups and downs.

I've learnt a lot about myself, and I've learnt a lot about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

I've learnt of the goodness of the Trinity. The ever present voice that guides me when I don't know where to turn. The comforting embrace of a Father who loves me with no end. My bridegroom Jesus who fills the void inside my heart that is left lacking. The man who died on the cross for me.

I've learnt to refuse to keep going over and over the same thing only to get the same result. I've learnt to let go. I've embraced what may never be (God only knows if it will, anyway!). I've accepted that I need to love God and myself more to truly be whole.

A lot of lessons learnt. A lot of tears cried. A lot of regrets. A lot of new aspects to accept. A lot to be grateful for.

Most importantly I've learnt that while humans let me down, God never will. I may stumble, fall and struggle to get back up, but He is there holding His hand out willing me to move forward and to become the woman He knows me to be.

Learning. It's good for the soul. And so is change.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Do You Like Change? I Do...



Photo Source



Change, change, change. There is nothing like change to either totally disrupt, bless or adjust one’s life. I believe that changes are the breaks between the chapters in your life book. The change in direction. An end and a beginning.

There has been a lot of change in my life this year. In previous years change has brought about different sets of circumstances that have provided upheaval, growth or regression. This year, however, is about milestone changes. The type of change that sets me on a new course and challenges me to stop and ponder many aspects of my life.

What my activities are.

Who I associate with.

Where I spend my time and money.

What I value most in life.

Who I am to my near and dear, and who I am in Jesus.

Where I will go from here.

Throughout all of my ponderings the Holy Spirit has been a discernable influence. I have felt the Holy Spirit’s presence throughout every change that has been made. I feel the calming presence that the Holy Spirit provides when the change I’m making is the right one. That in itself is reason enough to accept the change and not look back.

I’ve discovered that change involves not looking back; putting up boundaries; being true to myself; ending some relationships; surrounding myself with positive people intent on living, not just striving to.

Change involves many things for me. I’m looking forward to what lies ahead. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that. A new day has dawned for this old night owl who is now a lover of the morning. Yes, another change.

I’m thankful to God for His mercies, to Jesus for His contant companionship, and to the Holy Spirit for the discerning voice I hear and feel.

Life is good. God is good.

Fasting from Facebook...

Those who know and love me (ahhh) all know that I love sharing, hence the name of this blog page. But the time has come, thanks to a revelation from God during the Daniel Fast that I'm on, for me to spend more time just sharing with myself.

I need to get to know God more. I need to spend more time with just Him. And I'm not alone. Take a read of my beautiful friend Jo's post here at Princess Warrior Lessons on saying "Goodbye Facebook...".

Jo captures my heart in her post. She shares her heart and is very transparent about why she is saying goodbye to Facebook for the month of May, as am I. Will Jo return? That is yet to be decided. Will I return? That is also yet to be decided.

What I am looking forward to is spending my Facebook time reading His Word - studying who He is, who Jesus is and who the Holy Spirit is.

Please pop over to Jo's blog as she shares her heart.

God's Timetable...

I have learned that you can't expect everything to be black and white when living in God's world. You can't expect "this" or "that" to happen when you want it to. Aside from His love, mercy and grace, you can expect surges and consolidations, drought moments and discombobulation. Why? Because God works in His own time!

My journey through depression has been proof of this. I knew something was wrong. I knew that “I wasn't right”. I knew my heart needed fixing. And basically ... I want it fixed pronto! But God had other ideas. Because He is all-knowing and all-powerful, He actually set out to prove that to me. He needed me to learn a lesson - a very valuable one at that - but He was going to teach me in His own time.

I work at a tertiary education institute (aka college). I issue roll books to teachers, and prepare these roll books in conjunction with class timetables that are organised by teaching staff and education managers. I have to admit that I'm glad I don't have their job! Preparing the roll books is the easy part really. But what isn't easy is when the timetable changes. Everything gets put out of whack and in some cases I have to start the roll book preparation from scratch. This can create some stress and confusion ... to say the least.

What have I learned from this though? I've learned that if I take the process and break it down into stages and be patient with what I'm doing, instead of rushing, then it all works out without much stress and confusion. Much can be the same, in a roundabout way, with when God decides our timetable.

He knows right down to the exact millisecond when something will happen. That in itself is an amazing thing to consider. He knows what words I'm going to type next before I do. He even knew that I'd have to go and hit backspace a number of times on that last sentence because I kept changing my mind about what words to write!

He also knows what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year ... well, you get the picture, right! It’s HIS timetable for me and not my timetable!

I tried, unsuccessfully, to live life by my timetable up until about 18 months ago when I suffered my nervous breakdown. Philippians 4:6-7 saved me at that time:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I gave the trigger to my breakdown to the Lord. My depression and anxiety didn't go away, but I did find peace in Him. I knew that He knows all things, and that, for the first time in my life, was enough. The painful yet strengthening journey that I've been on since then was all on His timetable.

Another passage that also saved me was Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

I had depended on my own understanding, and that of others, to get through life. I didn't work! It still doesn't work. "His will" is His timetable and His desire for our lives. It's not what we want. We are mere flesh. Really, without Him, what do we know what to do with our lives? Nothing!

We try to live in a black and white world without God. We try to live out our lives by putting in our own little gray spin on things. We, like Sarah in Genesis 16, jump the gun and try to fix the situation ourselves. What does that achieve? Like with Sarah, nothing but trouble and strife.

What does it mean to stick to God's timetable when we don't actually have a hard copy of it? What do we do when there is no update done every week so we know where we have to go? Well, we go to His Word for instruction and truth, to Him in prayer for comfort and support, and we wait for the Holy Spirit to guide and advise us of our next move. That means spending more time with Him. More time seeking Him. And more time being quiet and still and waiting for that little prompt to lead us in the right direction.

I learned all about living by God's timetable. I, on occasions, still try and skip class. I try to do things my own way, but my nervous breakdown (numbers 1 AND 2) taught me to wait for Him. After the pain comes gain. I am experiencing that gain now. I am settled within myself. I ask God for direction. I seek Jesus for comfort. I allow the Holy Spirit to guide me. I pray more than I've ever done, and I also feel His presence in every part of my day.

God is the ultimate timetable scheduler! Let Him decide your steps every day. Wait for Him to tell you of the changes. Don't jump the gun and end up in the wrong classroom as you will most definitely learn the wrong lesson! Be patient. Trust His judgment. You will be rewarded. Not only by a smooth timetable but also a peaceful heart.

My Mosaic Heart...

Three and a half years ago a crack appeared in my heart after God planted a seed of truth in my life that, unbeknownst to me, would grow and slowly take me on a journey of ultimate truth, discovery and healing. But not without my heart breaking completely.

Over the last 3 and a half years God slowly and gently - and not so gently - showed me more and more truths that I needed to know. To be honest, God could have kept these truths to Himself because at the time they caused such confusion and heartache! But, He was persistent and kept revealing them to me. And oh, how they hurt! I’ve been through some heartache in my almost 41 years, but never, and I mean NEVER, have I felt anything as painful and devastating as what I went through on this latest journey.

As I get closer to my place of being healed and overcoming the beast that is depression and anxiety, I can now look back with clarity...and thanks to God...that I endured and survived (AMEN!) the changes and growth that He brought into my life.

I was taken to places that I never thought I would go. I discovered things that shocked and disgusted me. And I did things that no woman should be expected to do by someone who supposedly loves her!

It’s taken me a while to forgive and move forward, but I have reached that place now. There are still times when a memory hurts and ALL the pain returns, but it’s not as harsh so I can live with it now. Before, guilt, shame, regret, hurt and all those other icky emotions that the enemy would have me believe, would take over and consume me. But no more! (Sorry Satan...you lose!)

With each playing their respective parts in my life, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit have all lovingly brought me to the place I am at now. The broken pieces of my heart have been pieced back together like a mosaic. Not in the same place, not perfect, but still a work of love – and art – by my Maker.

My Life is Not a Documentary...

"My life is not a documentary..."

That is the thought that came to me at work today. This last week of my life I've felt the overwhelming urge to internalise. To ponder some of the things that I do, as opposed to what others do to me. God has revealed some startling revelations to me. And no, I'm not the person who I thought I was; I am someone better. I am someone who is going to take responsibility for her not so productive actions of the past. I am someone who is now going to 'do' life a little different. How? By keeping my life problems between me and God for a while, and anyone whom the problem pertains to.

I haven't done that in the past. I've gone to humans for advice, wisdom and guidance. While this hasn't always been a bad thing (we're all made for relationship, after all), in my case I don't think that it has helped me to really become accountable for MY actions (one of the faults of being a people pleaser!). One thing I've tried to not do is quench the Spirit, but I feel I've done that. I am now feeling the Spirit guiding me in what I have to do now.

The reason I've gone to other people for advice first (aside from the people pleasing thing) is because I am impatient, I have been a tad discombobulated (a post is brewing on this amazing word!) and I've always thought how I feel and what I do has been wrong. God is showing me patience, de-discombobulating me (perhaps not a word, I know, but it sounds good!) and reassuring me that how I feel and what I do is not necessarily wrong, but a little misguided. I like to hurry. I move, speak, type, write and eat fast. I need to slow all of this down. I need to give God the proper opportunity to speak directly to my heart, to guide my soul and re-educate all aspects of me on how I do life.

I haven't written anything overly deep of late, and that's because I haven't been able to. God has wanted me to just look to Him. It's worked. I feel clarity has arrived. My direction - while I don't know exactly where I'm heading - is focused on God and what He wants me to do, not me heading in a direction and taking God along for the ride! So what does this mean for me? Well, I have no idea. I don't know what direction I'm to take. I don't know what my writing should be focused on. I don't know the answer to certain aspects of my personal life. But God does know, so I'll be going with His flow and letting Him guide me for a while. My life will be a documentary for God only.

"With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow." - Proverbs 3:5,6

Happy "Freedom Birthday" To Me...

Tomorrow marks the 26th anniversary of what I affectionately refer to as my "Freedom Birthday" It's the day when I became a Christian in 1984. Don't cheer too soon though, as in these 26 years, I have only actually walked closely with the Lord for just under eight of them. Yes, disappointing, I know...

However, I am not disappointed, and neither is God. Actually, what I look back on as a crazy 18 years of doing my own thing, now forms the basis of my message. But, it's not just those 18 years that were crazy as the last 4 years have been too. A Keanu “Whoa!” moment here, if you please!

While I had the foundational knowledge of God, Jesus, Christianity, etc when I returned to my walk with God four years ago, I did not actually know the true mean of the freedom that faith, and more importantly trust, in God provides. There is an obvious difference between saying that you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins (anyone can say that actually), to actually feeling it in your heart, living it and having the true freedom it provides.

I grew up adhering to the rules that are in the Bible, or more to the point trying to adhere to them but failing miserably. The notion that I was being a naughty girl by not doing as I was told led me to feel guilt and shame. I rebelled majorly when I was eighteen and I now wish, in some aspects, that I had not.

I’ve learnt over the last four years that adhering to the rules of the Bible is not what it is all about. That is legalism. That is living by the law that was set down in the Old Testament when the Israelites only had sacrifices to give. I now live by grace, which was given to all of us who accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour when the ultimate – and last - sacrifice took place. It was when God in Flesh, Jesus, died on the cross for our sins – past, present AND future.

I will not be able to live the next thirty plus years living by the law, but I know that I will be able to live by grace. The relief of knowing that God has forgiven me of my sins, loves me anyway, and wants me to share this forgiveness and love with those who do, and do not, know Him.

So…Happy Freedom Birthday to Me!

Thank you God for creating me, thank you Jesus for saving me and thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me.

Maintaining Faith...

I'm learning a lot about faith of late. I believe that faith and focus go hand in hand. I must keep my focus on Jesus to keep my faith in Him strong. I have never, ever doubted the existence of God or that Jesus came to earth to die for my sins. My belief has been unshakeable, but what about my faith?

Let's just say that it's deepening as I become more focused and more reliant on Him for the strength I need. I just need to put my foot out into the Jordan in an act of faith and let Him do the rest.

My 24 in 2010 scripture memory verse for the 15th of April talks about faith in Jesus. My focus has shifted to Him as the ultimate comfort for the lack I've felt in my life. I am finally feeling - not just thinking about, but feeling - His power in my life. Over the last few weeks I have literally cried out to Him on a weekly basis to help me, to give me strength and to take the pain away. But as my reading of Revelation revealed to me two nights ago, the pain is purposeful.

"...God's holy people must endure persecution patiently, obeying his commands and maintaining their faith in Jesus." - Revelation 14:12 NLT

I don't 'do' patient very well, nor do I 'do' persecution, obeying and maintaining. I am learning though. Slowly, but surely. As I feel myself exiting the wilderness that has been my life for the last 40 years, I can feel myself becoming more patient, tolerating persecution better, obeying what He wants me to do and maintaining my faith in Jesus.

Jesus the Gentleman loves me. God the Father adores me. The Holy Spirit guides me. I ask you, what more could a girl want in life at this point in time?

Thank You Heavenly Father for Your Word and the wisdom it bestows on me right when I need it, and right on time. Enduring persecution patiently is a strengthening tool that You use to help us maintain our faith. It works and it's perfect, just like You. In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen

The Life Within...

My reading and studies lately have taken me to a new place. A place where I’ve been focussing on the Spirit within, a new found obedience, the pursuit of silence and the need to surrender.

The shift in focus from what is seen to unseen...
The yearning to feel at peace with my life as it is now...
The desire to turn to Him for His guidance, clarity, reassurance and understanding...
The re-training of a mindset formed by years and years of spiritual neglect...
The acceptance of a life reborn and made new...
The need to please a Father who has given me so much...
The longing to allow the Spirit within to help me become the woman God knows I can be.

Please enjoy the verse below. It’s a long paraphrase but one that expands quite well on the concept of an unseen Spirit dwelling within us; guiding us, comforting us, helping us, nurturing us and being with us at all times. It’s quite a comforting realisation actually.

“But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!” – Romans 8:11 (MSG)

Thank You Heavenly Father for choosing to dwell within me; for seeing the potential in me. Thank You for giving me this gift of life with You and the calm reassurance of having you present all day and every day. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen.

Correct Scrutiny...

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
- Psalm 139:23-24 (KJV)

These verses, studied in my morning devotional "Every Day with Jesus" (Rev Dr Selwyn Hughes), seem apt upon my return, as such, to blogland with the theme being self-examination. The reminder that self-examination must be carried out in the presence of the Spirit. It's no good judging oneself with our limited thinking. It's not the correct way.

We must review our relationship with God on a regular basis through Spiritual reflection. Where am I falling down? What/who is in my life that shouldn't be?

We must remember to never engage in self-pity as it is, as Hughes writes, the enemy of repentance. Self-pity "...is an attempt to remove the souls pain by humanistic means rather than entrusting oneself to God His Holy Spirit."

In Matthew 5:21-24, 1 Corinthians 11:23-32 and 2 Corinthians 13:5-6 we are told to ask God to reveal any "offensive way" in us and to postpone worship to set things right with others and God.

It is important to examine ourselves prior to partaking of the Lord's Supper to make sure our heart is right, we worship the right way (not "unworthingly") and that we are in the right head, and most importantly, heart space.

Thank You Heavenly Father for revealing these messages to me at the right time. I pray that I will look to You first for fruitful and correct Spiritual self-examination instead of thinking that I, in my frail humanistic form, am able to do it alone. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Strength and Perseverance...

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

I am not a strong person as far as physical strength goes, but I consider myself to be a strong person mentally when it comes to dealing with life's challenges. The only problem with that is that there is an element of weakness that creeps in and stops me from being all that I can, and should, be. This element is the nasty little words that the enemy invades my mind with in an attempt to steer me off God's course for me.

This is an ever increasing issue that I need to overcome so that I can function to my fullest capacity. I have been blessed with the discovery of Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind" where I have learnt techniques to help overcome this. I am also blessed by regular blog posts I come across from my sisters in Christ in cyberspace who share their experiences. And yes, as you may have already guessed, I am blessed with God's Word that I diligently read every day for strength and encouragement where I discover that through Him I can overcome anything!

I actually can't get enough of studying His Word, and I often feel saddened when I know that I have to stop my study and get on with life. But I need to get on with life so that I can serve Him better and as I should. I am a daughter of God first and foremost and then I am a mother. And strength and perseverance are two key elements that a mother needs, whether a solo parent like myself, or a married mum with kids.

Speaking of strength and perseverance, the mum of one of Jasmine's pre-school friends recently had a wee baby boy. He is a gorgeous little bundle and already very alert. I've been fortunate to be able to see him a few of times over the last week and it's reminded me of the strength and perseverance a mother requires with a newborn. Not only does this mum have to get to know her new son and meet his needs, but she also is responsible for the continued care of her elder son, who is 4, plus her husband. She joked this morning that it's like having three children in the house! I won't enter into that discussion being that I'm a solo parent with just one child at home!

The only way I know how to be strong and to persevere, be that as a mum or in general, is through faith in God. I know, and it's been proven, that I cannot do life without Him. Everything I have comes from Him, and He has a purpose for everything, including me, which is to strengthen me through perseverance, as strength alone will not achieve His ends; it's character that matters.

Romans 5:3-5 tells us that we are to "rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

These verses show that we have the answer right here with us in the Holy Spirit. James 1:3 reminds us "that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." And 2 Peter 1:6 tells us that perseverance leads to godliness. Given these things we can conclude that strength and perseverance has a round robin effect. Perseverance builds character, which builds hope, which builds faith, which builds godliness, which builds strength, which then builds our perseverance for when trials come our way. And all this comes from God through the Holy Spirit.

James 1:4 tells us that "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It's a joyous feeling knowing that through all the hard times and through all the struggles that come our way that we can delight in the fact that all of this is working for the good of He who loves us. We will be favoured and not lacking in anything, but first we must become strong by persevering, hoping, having faith and calling on the Holy Spirit to strengthen us.

Living Boldly…

I’m reading the book of Acts at present, as well as studying it through my daily devotional, and the word “bold” keeps standing out. The Macquarie Dictionary defines bold as “not hesitating in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff” and also “not hesitating to breach the rules of propriety.” The Apostles certainly were bold considering these definitions! They did not hesitate in the face of danger when you consider they experienced the rebuke of the Pharisees and endured time in jail. And as far as actual physical danger goes, many lost their lives, like Stephen, who became the first Christian martyr. What strength and what courage!

After pondering this, I gleaned that the lesson here is that we all must be “speaking freely and fearlessly and boldly in the Lord…” – Acts 14:3 (AMP). We must be bold even with the threat of danger or rebuff. So how does one do this? How does one become bold in the Lord?

Let’s look at Stephen; he was bold. He was “a man of faith and of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 6:5), and “a man full of God’s grace and power” (Acts 6:8). He was also full of wisdom (Acts 6:10); so much so that the members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen could not stand up against him because he was so bold. They concocted untruths about him, which resulted in Stephen being brought before the Sanhedrin and put to death by stoning after infuriating them greatly while giving his speech recounting events from the Old Testament that glorified God and our Lord Jesus Christ.

You could say that Stephen’s speech was his one last hoorah (defined as “final moment or occasion of glory or achievement” from Dictionary.com) for God, but what an amazingly powerful hoorah that was! Standing there boldly speaking God’s word to the very men who demanded the crucifixion of Jesus. It’s no wonder that Stephen’s face shone like an angel (Acts 6:15); he was filled with the power of the Holy Spirit! He was free, fearless and bold!

The key here - the Almighty Enabler, you could say - is the Holy Spirit. As I go about my daily life, and deal with the struggles and temptations of the world, I must call on the Holy Spirit so I can be bold!

I am a woman of faith and have been baptised and filled with the Holy Spirit who enables me to be full of grace, power and wisdom. This means that I am to speak freely, fearlessly and boldly in the Lord! I must share my faith, share God’s love, and most importantly share why I am a Christian; telling of what Jesus did for me and His love for me. I am also to share that this is obtained by having a close relationship with Him that is deepened by prayer and meditation on His word that then enables me to live a joyful and rich life, and a life lived boldly!