Blogtoberfest 2014: Day 5 - When You Meet Your Tribe

I'm a bit of a hermit, which I quite openly admit to. I have never been part of a group of female friends who hang out together, have weekend getaways, and do Bible study together. While I have longed for it at times, it has never happened. Lately it has become a recurring theme. One that rises up periodically and I feel anxious about. So, I decided to ask God why that was the case, to which He replied that I am not supposed to be part of a group like that. I asked Him what it is then that I am supposed to be a part of. He told me to wait.

Yesterday the wait came to an end when I found my tribe. A tribe of women from all parts of both hemispheres. A tribe of women who are all travelling on a similar journey to me. A tribe of women who have decided that going to church while still loving Jesus isn't what they need. Yes, you read that right. Not going to church. Still loving Jesus. It's what is referred to as being a free-ranging Christian. My new tribe. 

It's taken me over 18 months to get to this point. I had been attending church regularly for over six and half years prior to that. Three churches actually. "Church hopping" as it was once referred to in a conversation with a friend. A reference that irked me at the time, and still irks me now because it's not about the church. It's about my relationship with Jesus. And that's why I am now a free-range Christian. I don't feel part of the current church establishment. I find it overwhelming. I find it suffocating. And after a revelation from God a number of years back, I find that the practise of devoting oneself entirely to one church and all its activities takes away from the true purpose that Jesus came to earth to live out as our example.

I grew up going to church and the church I attended as a child and teen was my home. I have very fond memories of this church and the relationship I had with everyone there, my involvement, and what I learned there. I miss it actually. I miss the fact that it was small and everyone knew each other and it was home. I think this fact alone has had a huge influence on why I have never felt completely part of a new church. Too big. Too many cliques. Too focused on this or that. You get the drift. 

Of the churches I have attended recently, I do have one particular church that I would still like to attend from time to time. It is because when I attended there I did not feel overwhelmed or suffocated, or alone for that matter. It is still a church establishment by today's standards, but Jesus is there. And I need Jesus more than I need to be a member of one particular church. More than I need to rock up and serve every Sunday. More than I need to devote my time to other Christians when there are so many others in my circle that need Jesus more.

From where I'm sitting right now while typing this, I have a 10 year old who needs Jesus. Looking out my window there are neighbours that need Jesus. When hanging out with my non-Christian friends I see a need for Jesus. And not a "let's invite you to church so you can meet Jesus" type thing. A tangible "Paula is a Christian but is still a really cool person to hang out with and respects who I am and accepts me for who I am and what I do" type Jesus. 

So, getting back to my new tribe. It's a group of women from around the globe who are all free-ranging Christians. Who have all had experiences that have resulted in them either leaving the church establishment or adjusting their views on theology, or both. And I am really thankful for this new group of kindred thinkers. I can be myself and not feel that I don't fit in. I can express my views without them being negated just because I am not doing what "everyone else" is doing. 

I am doing what God wants me to do. I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. I am closer to myself and God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit than I have ever been before. And it's good. It's home. And I have a tribe.

In Him Always,

Paula 

Thirty Years

Today, 30 years ago, I became a Christian. I openly declared that by shedding His blood on the cross, Jesus paid for all my past, present and future sins. But this year my Freedom Birthday means much more that just saying that I gave my heart to Jesus. This year it means more.

As some friends close to me would know, I haven't been to church much over the last two years. I've attended three churches in the last eight years and while I grew in my faith and discovered a lot about myself, I also found that I lost part of myself along the way. Now, I'm not wanting to bag any of the churches I've attended. They each served a purpose in God's grand plan for me as a Christian. But I'm now at a point where I need to be alone to hear what exactly it is that God has planned for me. I need stillness. I need quiet.

"You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realising who you are at the deepest level." - Thomas Merton

http://www.kylerichardson.com.au/

This quote adequately describes where I am at right at this very moment. I've tried to fit in, add new things, remove old things, and generally fluff my way through. Now, however, I've reached the point where I need to take what I have before me right now - motherhood, university study, homelife, friends, family - and build on those things. I truly believe God does not want me to have the added responsibility of anything else at this moment. He wants me to concentrate on what He has given me, and to concentrate on Him. 

So that is why this year's Freedom Birthday, aside from being my 30th, is so very important. God is trusting me to go out on my own, with Jesus by my side, to forge out my own faith journey. To free-range. To discover, To grow. To not settle on doing what everyone else is doing, but to find out where and what is the right fit for me. The journey will certainly be interesting.

In Him Always,

Paula

February Fast 2014...

February 2014 is going to be a fasting month for me. I will be fasting from Facebook, TV and social interaction outside of work and church. These are the things that stop me from getting close and connecting to God. That needs to change. Hence my fast. It needs to happen.

I decided to look up the meaning of February and outside of it being "the second month of the year" etc, I found its origin quite interesting:

Origin: 
before 1000; Middle English; Old English Februarius < Latin Februārius (mēnsis) expiatory (month), derivative of februa (plural) expiatory offerings; see -ary

"Expiatory" is a word I've never heard before but it means to be "able to make atonement or expiation". Moving forward in the word search, I clicked on "atonement" and found the following:

1. satisfaction or reparation for a wrong or injury; amends.

2. ( sometimes initial capital letter ) Theology . the doctrine concerning the reconciliation of God and humankind, especially as accomplished through the life, suffering, and death of Christ.

3. Christian Science. the experience of humankind's unity with God exemplified by Jesus Christ.

4. Archaic. reconciliation; agreement.

---

Origin:
1505–15; from phrase at one in harmony + -ment, as translation of Medieval Latin adūnāmentum; compare Middle English onement unity

 

It all makes sense and is very applicable to my February Fast. It is to make amends, to reconcile me to God, to be in agreement with His will for my life, to sacrifice the things of the world for the things of Heaven. So good. So God.

 

I am finding that living in the world is a tough gig. It's so easy to get sucked into living the lie that the devil wants me to live. The negativity, the cynicism, the gossiping, the hatred, the complaining. All things that I, as a follower of Jesus Christ, should not do. There is so much more to this life than what the world has to offer, and during February I am ready for God to show me what that is.

 

To have change, one must make a change. I'm ready. I'm set. It's a go.

 

Blog Break Time...

Tomorrow is the first of December. Summer. School holidays. Vacation care. Christmas.

Then it will be January. New Year. More school holidays. More vacation care. Then back to work. Then back to school.

So, to cope with December and to prepare for January, I'm taking a blog break. I have a house to clean. Bible studies to finish. Books to read.

Until then, may you all have a beautiful Christmas remembering our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. And keep safe and well.

Are You Weary? I Am...

Photo Source

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

I'm tired. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally tired too. It's because I don't sleep well. It's because I deal with a daily bout of anxiety that my little white pills 80% succeed in keeping under control. It's because outside influences push change on my life that isn't always welcome.

But that's life. Not just for me, but for many, if not all, of us.

I'm not whinging out this, just stating fact. And while I don't use my depression and anxiety as a cop out, it does impact how I cope with life, and what, and whom, I allow to affect the life of my daughter and I.

 I recall feeling tired almost three years ago. It was four months after I had my nervous breakdown. I was tired, worn out and burned out by life. And while I'm not in that state now, I am weary. I can feel it in my bones, my heart and my mind.

The bone weariness is due to a physical illness that attacks me every summer. Fibromyalgia, the painful auto-immune disease whereby my body aches and burns. Where ice blocks applied directly to my skin and ibuprofen promptly consumed are the only two things, outside of air conditioning that is, that ease my pain.

The heart weariness is because of the emotional pain that I see others go through. It is because I am raising a nine year old daughter who has started going through "the change" (yes, it applies for tweens too!). It is because the world itself is becoming more and more messed up as each day, week, month and year go by. (Bring back the simplicity of the 1970s, I say!)

The mind weariness basically comes from being "bone weary". From my body being tired. I don't sleep well, so thus my body and mind are not being renewed as they should. It's also from the busyness of life. Of the busyness that I inflict, which I'm planning on reducing, and the busyness that others inflict on my life.

It's a vicious circle. It's a merry-go-round that keeps getting faster and faster whereby holding on causes unnecessary weariness.

It's a merry-go-round we create, and control, ourselves.

What is the solution? Those who know Jesus already know that He is. Overcoming weariness requires focus and commitment to the Lord. I found 45 Bible verses that deal with the topic "weary". I've printed them out and am going to write them out longhand. Commit them to my heart.

Remember that it is only Jesus who can help my weariness.

Do you feel weary too?

On Being Too Human and Downward Mobility...

I recently wrote a post on why "it's not that I don't like church". Why only a handful of Sundays have been used to visit the Lord's House. Why I have been questioning the modern day definition of the term "church". Why I feel a shift in how I see the church and its leaders.

Basically, some 2000 years after Jesus shed blood on the cross, the world is a really messed up place. Messed up people. Messed up politics. Messed up morals. Messed up ideals.

Is it because we act too human? Do we, as Christians, walk haphazardly on the thin line that separates us from the world? Teetering over to "their side" every so often to try and breathe Jesus on them? Do we live by a blinded vision of how the world thinks we should live?

There are many questions that swirl through my mind as I ponder the shift in how I view my walk with Jesus. He still walks with me, moreso now than ever before, but something has changed.

I happened upon a blog recently by D.L. Mayfield, who is "living in the upside-down kingdom". She writes a lot on downward mobility and describes it as "an easy, succinct way to describe consciously choosing to not pursue climbing the ladder of the American dream". I really relate to that in my current state of consciousness.

Ladders are too high.
Simplicity is what I seek.

Do you feel this way? Do you long for a simpler life? To not be bogged down by the constant upkeep and management of material resources? To live with a childlike faith and have extra long weekends within a 48 hour time period just because there are less cares in your world?

I know I surely do, and I know I need to recapture that.

I need to stop thinking of myself as "just a human" and remember that I am a saved soul in human form. That while I am visiting this earth on the way to heaven, I am not to become "too human" and conform to the ways of the world. That I am not to climb the worldly ladder but instead be a living example of how the world can reach Jesus.

It's a tough gig. But it's a rewarding gig, because God always shows us where we are doing it right, and helping us to get better at the bad.

I'm ready for the simpler life. For the life less harried. For a two steps back to embrace how simple life used to be.

When Life Gets Messy...

I bet you can relate to that, right? When life gets messy and all the pieces don't seem to gel? I know I do. My life has become messy on many occasions, as yours most likely has done as well. The fact is that life will continue to get messy, then straighten itself out, and then get messy again because that's just how it is living on this earth. The good news, however, is that with Jesus in my life, the existence of a messy life it isn't as prolific. It isn't as disrupting. It is never as bad as before. And it can be like that for you too.

I like the word "messy" as a way of describing how life gets. Mandy Steward has embraced the word "messy" on her blog Messy Canvas. Mandy embraces her messy life. Her journey. The messy journey that she travels on. She encourages us to "move towards listening to our voice, standing on our two feet, owning our own life to the full and setting ourselves free." To embrace us, our lives, the journey, and the mess. After all, only Jesus is perfect. And Jesus bring freedom. Mandy also write how "The great thing about freedom is that there are always new levels of it to explore."

I like "messy".

mess·y

/ˈmɛsi/ [mes-ee]   

 adjective, mess·i·er, mess·i·est.

1. characterized by a dirty, untidy, or disordered condition: a messy room.

2. causing a mess: a messy recipe; messy work.

3. embarrassing, difficult, or unpleasant: a messy political situation.

4. characterized by moral or psychological confusion.

---

Origin:
1835–45; mess + -y¹

Related forms

mess·i·ness, noun

 

Dictionary.com describes various situations that we will find ourselves in that are messy. The room strewn with clothes. The kitchen sink piled with dirty dishes. The flour dusting on the benchtop. The paperwork covering the desk. The money left at home when the checkout is full of food. The words spoken that we regret once breathed out. The thoughts that race around on firing neurons. The respect that isn't given nor earned.

Life is messy. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

Thankfully we all have access to a God - The God - who is a Master Janitor. He is able to clear, sanitise, renew, clarify, tidy and clean up the messes that we are subjected to in this earthly life. We don't have to do this alone. We have someone who is All Powerful, All Knowing, and Not Messy!

Your life may be messy. There may be circumstances in your life where you feel there is no escape. That the mess cannot be cleaned up. That your situation will never improve. That your heart, soul and mind will never find clarity and peace.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7 NLT

Rest in Jesus. Ask the Lord God for help and guidance. Seek out His Holy Spirit to be the quiet yet loud voice in your head, guiding your heart to the right destination.

My life gets messy. God cleans it up. It gets messy again. God does it yet again. The best aspect in all of this? I get stronger. Life becomes clearer. Peace descends from the heavens and rests in my heart. God frees me from the mess the world creates once again.

God is good.

Standing In My Own Way...

I saw this on Facebook recently. I immediately emailed the photo to myself (as you do) and wrote the following:

Standing in my own way.
Not remembering His promise of redemption.
Taking the world's word over God's, etc

We are told many times in the Bible that through the blood of Jesus we will be washed whiter than snow. That our sins are forgiven.

Heather King reminds us here that "we are promised a new identity in Christ". We are made new.

It's an amazing promise.

But do you have times when you just don't feel like you've been "made new"? I know I certainly do, and seeing this quote from Heather King has made me really think about why.

My number one enemy (next to Satan, of course) is me. I stand in my own way. I cause myself many of the problems that I encounter. I am not good to myself. And I need to be. A friend's number one quote is "Be good to yourself". I understand why he says that. And I must remember to be.

Speaking of remembering, I must remind myself that I have been redeemed. Jesus didn't die on the cross for no reason at all. He didn't commit any sin. He died on the cross for a purpose, which is you and me. To die in place of our sins. To receive promise to spend eternity with Him.

I am redeemed. I am redeemed. I am redeemed.

And because I am redeemed, I have full access to all that God promised His people. That includes God Himself, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It includes the ability to pray at any given moment about any given thing. To have a conversation with Him. To be in an intimate relationship with Him.

It also includes inclusion into God's family. Adoption into a heavenly and holy family where peace and love and kindness and forgiveness and grace are normal. It means never having to be alone again. Never having to feel like we don't belong.

The privilege of having access to God's Living Word, the Bible. His book. His words written down over thousands of years by men who loved God, who knew Him and who saw first hand the amazing works and miracles He performed. The Word that speaks to us as we study it.

One thing that I know I as a Christian battles with the most is ignoring the world and its lies. Fighting a spiritual battle that wages between God and Satan with our souls as the prize. The battle that rages in our hearts and souls and will not end until after Jesus returns.

We must not stand in our own way.
We must remember our redemption
We must trust in God's Word only.

Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Amen.

Jesus is My Husband...

Ann Voskamp's writing is filled with imagery and feeling. None of that was wasted on me when I read her Thanksgiving post recenty over at A Holy Experience.

"When it's over, I want to say; all my life I was a bride married to amazement." - Mary Oliver

The post welcomed the new for me. The current status of my life. The now that took so long to reach.

The fact that Jesus is my husband.


"Prince of Peace" by Akiane

"Mama always said it and she didn’t care what anyone thought of it: God was her husband. And that ain’t just some metaphor to get the Pharisees all in a prudish knot – it’s brazen Scripture. Take it or go ahead and leave it. We all get to choose our own bedfellows – and who we’ll give our soul to, who or what will get our life."

I'm standing with Ann's Mama. I've already decided.

The relationship that was not easily broken was the driving force behind my decision to be single, and stay single as long as God deems necessary. I needed that relationship, as I now need the friendship that has come from it, to keep me stayed on Jesus.

The relationship between a husband and wife is the equivalent to the relationship between God and His followers. Between Jesus and His church. That is why marriage between a man and a woman is sacred to Christians. It represents more than a wedding, living together, sex, reproduction. It represents a deeper connection. It represents the connecting of neurons and souls and emotions. It is a covenant.

My covenant is with Jesus. He has proven Himself by dying on the cross for me. By paving the way for me to live a guilt and shame free life with Him. He has stood by my side, and lived in my heart, through the most horrific years of my life. He has spoken to me when I needed to hear His voice. He has visited me when I have felt alone, to remind me that He is near. He has shared His heart with me and told me how He has grieved with me.

How could anyone not want that?

I know I do, and I need it more every day as I journey through life on earth.

Hosea 2:14-17 sums up my recent journey.

The Lord's Mercy on Israel

¹⁴ “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵ And there I will give her her vineyards
   and make the Valley of Achor^[a] a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
   as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

¹⁶ “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’      and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ ¹⁷ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more.

 

Footnotes:

a. Hosea 2:15 Achor means trouble; compare Joshua 7:26

He brought me back to Him. He took me into the harshest wilderness I have known. He spoke words of love and promise to me. He restored my dignity. He blessed me with hopefulness. He rekindled my faith. He walked with me out of the wilderness and into my freedom.

Jesus is my husband. And even if an earthly husband comes along, Jesus will always be my number one love. That is how it should be. That is how I want it to be.

It's Not That I Don't Like Church...

I have attended my church about four times since the beginning of March this year. It's not that I don't like going to church, I do. But I feel as though, with both the churches I've chosen to attend over the last 7 years, something is missing. That I don't fit in with the current day demographic.

Maybe I do. Maybe it's just me. But for now, I am an occasional church attender but a full time Jesus loving, prayer slinging, God worshipping Bible studying girl.

I have other friends who are on this exact same journey. And, recently, I've learnt that there are many, many people around the world that are experiencing the same type of questioning. I don't know what the answer is to the questioning I am doing about attending church, but I know the One who does. I also know He will provide me with the answer in His time.

I attended a small church in my home town between the ages of nine and 18. I attended then taught Sunday School. I stood up front and sang in the little 3 girl "choir". I went to Girl's Rally on a Friday night, and to Youth Group on a Saturday night. I diligently studied my Bible and wrote down notes during the sermon (which I still do!). I learnt, I grew, I loved being a Christian and attending church. That stopped when I turned 18 and discovered the freedom that comes from being "legal". Then I stopped attending church altogether. Stopped reading my Bible. Just stopped.

I graced a church building only a few times over the next 18 years. First to get married to the man I had no business marrying, then to attend weddings, funerals, and christenings. My return to church came 18 years later as a lost 36 year old single mum who answered the yearning in her heart. The yearning that had been whispering to me over those 18 years.

Since that time I've been attending church regularly except for this year. Something changed in March. Maybe it was going to Hillsong's women's conference Colour where I felt somewhat overwhelmed at times, and started questioning why. Maybe it was God telling me that He isn't just about mass services of unity, that it's about Him. Maybe He was telling me that my life needed a shake up so I could do more for Him and not just myself.

Whatever the reason, despite not attending church, I do miss the closeness that I remember feeling from my childhood church given that the church I now call home, and the previous church, are what are termed as "large" churches, ie 1000 plus people attending every session.

Don't get me wrong. I am not bagging going to a church, whether it be small, large or mega. What I am having difficulty with, and have done so for a few years now, (which is also one of the reasons I changed churches), is this. We go TO the church building, we mix WITH the church people, and we focus ON the church life. My question has and is, "Wasn't the church created, as we read in Acts, so we GO out into the world and share the gospel of Jesus?"

Yes, it was. Our direction seems to have become askew.

But I see how God is changing that. We are seeing more and more people from within churches GOing out and being Jesus. Mixing with the prostitutes, the drug addicts, the murderers, and the thieves. Taking greater risks and encountering more resistance thah has even been encountered before. We are seeing more and more people from within churches GOing out and putting their lives on the line for "the likes of these". Being the only Jesus that some will ever see in their entire lives.

When God spoke to me about this, He reminded me that I don't need a big or "trendy" mission field. I only needed to look at what - who - was right in front of me: my daughter, my family, my friends, my work colleagues, and so on. I feel that I have failed to "be Jesus" in many of these areas since then, but looking back at where I was spiritually, emotionally and mentally, God wanted me to grow and heal before I could help others. The process has been long and hard, but I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel, and He is still working on me.

So, for the time being I will continue to be kind to myself, to grow and to heal, while also looking out for those around me where and when I can. Looking out for those in my circle. Those who probably need to know Jesus more right now than those who I walk by in the church building.

I will continue to look toward the light that is The Son. I will follow in His direction and ensure that my direction does not become askew and misaligned.. And one day, when He is ready to send me back, I will return to church. A church of His choosing, not just one that is "up the road" and convenient.

Not Easily Broken...

 

"I have come to learn that when He is at the centre of a friendship, a book, a thought, a connection, a dream etc - it is NOT easily broken!" - Bronwen Healy

"And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 HCSB

My friend Bronwen posted the above quote and verse on Facebook last night, and it was an answer to prayer for me. The day before I had asked God to guide me in regard to a particular relationship in my life. One that has caused me no end of stress and hurt, but one that keeps, and I believe through the grace of God, staying strong regardless of the circumstances.

I believe that this quote and verse is an answer to that prayer, and a reminder (it was more like a boom to the heart actually) that because He is at the centre of this relationship, that it is to continue whether I like it or not.

Over the last week I have been able to work through many aspects of this relationship. I've learnt a lot about myself by opening up to the other person about my deep seeded feelings. I felt God's healing wash over me as I typed out the words.

I brought me to a new place. A healthy place. A place where I have realised that I am no longer dependent on another human being for my happiness. That Jesus is enough, and that through Jesus I can keep the human desires under control.

It's a freeing revelation.

When my marriage first broke up 16 years ago my auntie rang one night at around 10pm after I'd prayed to God to help me. I had been in Brisbane for not quite a year. I only had a couple of friends. I was lost. My auntie quoted Ecclesiastes 4:12 and it's the one verse that has stuck with me over the years while I was pursuing relationships where the cord of three strands was not present.

With this current day relationship, it is. It's a complicated relationship. It's one that has brought me closer to Jesus. It's one that I cannot see going away. It's one that has developed into a friendship that will last a lifetime and into eternity.

This new revelation also brings me to realise that another friendship that went awry late last year has been restored because there is a cord of three strands holding it together. God is good like that. And I am thankful.

God's power cannot be broken or thwarted when He is at the centre. These two friendships that have been restored and renewed are proof of that; because God is at the centre.

God is good.

For more reading on the topic of the cord with three strands, please see here.

No Longer Bound...

I read a blog post earlier today titled Unlearning by Joanne Sher at An Open Book. I found it an interesting post given that becoming a Christian doesn't mean that we instantly turn into new peace-filled and holy beings; we struggle and toil and fight the enemy and the old ways of our sinful life.

Joanne writes in her post that "Almost the entirety of the seventh chapter of his book to the Romans deals with breaking the sin habit, if you will." So I looked up Romans 7, where Paul writes about the woman whose husband died and she was then free to marry again. Paul used that example to illustrate how when we die in Christ (accept Him into our hearts as our Lord and Saviour) we also die to the power of the law (see Romans 7:4).

This concept has always blown me away, and I know it's because I am a mere human and I cannot reinvent myself to be holy without God, without Jesus, without the Holy Spirit.

I. CANNOT. DO. IT.

So how can I do it? How do I release myself from being bound to the law of my past?

It's a testing experience to free oneself from the bondage of evil when living in such an evil world. The world that wants to bring you down by constantly reminding you of your faults, your sins, and your failures. And that's where a life in Christ comes into it. By prayer, petition, meditating on and memorising His word, by having it written on my heart.

Living daily in this evil world is a constant battle. It's easy to just give up and go with the flow, but that's when the Holy Spirit convicts me of the change I made in my life. Of the freedom that following Jesus brings. Of the reality that I have been freed from the bondage of sin by the blood of Jesus Christ.

Unlearning a life filled with the habits of sin, the nature of sin that we were born with, is why Jesus died on the cross. It's why His blood was shed for us so that we can no longer be bound to the enemy.

Thank you Joanne for such a thought-provoking post!

Leave It Up to Him...

Do you ever have days when you wonder why some can't just trust God in His complete omnipresence and omnipotence and have to question the whys and wherefores of this existence of earth? Why love and grace and compassion and hardship can't just be accepted, and trust and complete reliance is placed on God for what it is: His promise of a love-filled life with Him?

I do, and I am.

I've experienced enough over the last few years to realise that much of the time the hard stuff we deal with is the best thing for us. That a cruisy, problem free life is actually a boring one, and that pain and heartache are like dumbbells to the heart, causing it to become stronger even though we don't feel immediate reward.

I long for the eternal life. For this earthly journey to be over and for the peace of sitting at Jesus' feet to come. But because of the dumbbells to the heart, I have to wait as my eternal reward is not immediate.

What do I do in the meantime?

I experience love and grace and compassion and hardship.
I deal with the hard stuff because it is the best thing.
I long for the eternal life, but know I am to continue running this earthly race to gain my prize.

I learn.
I long.
I live.
I love.
I let go.

I leave it up to Him.

BF2013: Love IS the Greatest...

 

Love is not washed away by the waves.

Love is not manipulative.

Love is not accusatory.

Love is not conditional.

Love is Jesus.

 

1 Corinthians 13

New Living Translation (NLT)

 

Love Is the Greatest

 

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

 

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages^[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ⁹ Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! ¹⁰ But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

 

¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. ¹² Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.^[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

 

¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

 

Footnotes: 

1. 13:3 Some manuscripts read sacrificed my body to be burned.
2. 13:8 Or in tongues.
3. 13:12 Greek see face to face.

BF2013: The Vacant Space...

The realisation of what God knew all along.

Vacant space within a pumping heart filled with His love.

A familiar voice whispering guidance to the willing ear.

 

The relief of what God felt all along.

Chambers beating faster with anticipation of release.

Words written and exuding the truth from a heavenly realm.

 

The response of what God heard all long.

The vacant space discovering the true and rightful occupant.

The blood spilled that in turn filled the pumping heart.

 

© Paula C. Whitehouse, 2013

BF2013: Isaiah on My Mind…

Yesterday Isaiah was on my mind. Words of hope, promise and love. Light bulb moments beaming with fresh realisations about God. Understanding Him more. Rationalising why the world is confused by Him.

God speaks with truth, consistency and love. He cherishes us. His purpose for us was made clear. He hasn’t digressed from that vision. That purpose, and His love, never changes (see Isaiah 44:8).

                HE WON’T CHANGE HIS MIND … EVER!

Relief floods my heart, and as I close my eyes I gain some steps forward in my journey with Jesus. Feeling His closeness and the peace that ensues is pure joy.

The world doesn’t understand God, and yesterday I realised that God’s proclamations of His power and greatness are misinterpreted.

He’s not saying those things because He’s bragging, or because He wants to intimidate us into following Him.

                HE IS SAYING THOSE THINGS BECAUSE HE LOVES US. TRULY.

He is declaring His love for us. Reassuring us that we can turn to Him and rely on Him without fail.

 

We need to be as bold as God. We need to proclaim that WE ARE SAVED. WE ARE LOVED. WE ARE VALUED. WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE. Not to brag, but to share in love with others the joy that comes from knowing Jesus.

He is our living water. The only means of complete and thorough refreshment (see Isaiah 44:3-4).

He chose to give us His Spirit and blessing.

We are meant to THRIVE, and not just be.

Be bold.

Be brave.
Be courage.

Exude intrepidity.

Share His love. Share His purpose. Share His living water. Splash it out over all you meet. And remember that YOU are loved, cherished and made for His purpose.

BF2013: Intrepidity...

President Barack Obama presention Army Captain William Swenson
with the US Medal of Honour. Photo courtesy www.news.com.au.

Today I watched raw video of an American soldier saving the life of a comrade in Afghanistan. I then watched as he received his US Medal of Honour from President Barack Obama. You can see both videos here (they are worth watching, believe me!).

While the citation was read out prior to the soldier receiving his medal from the president, I kept hearing the word intrepidity being used.

I like interesting and new words, so I thought I would look it up. As you can already gather, it is from the word intrepid.

in·trep·id

/ɪnˈtrɛp ɪd / Show Spelled [in-trep-id] Show IPA
adjective
resolutely fearless; dauntless: an intrepid explorer.

---

Origin:
1690–1700; < Latin intrepidus, equivalent to in- in-³ + trepidus anxious; see trepidation

Related forms
in·tre·pid·i·ty, in·trep·id·ness, noun
in·trep·id·ly, adverb

Synonyms
brave, courageous, bold.

Antonyms
timid.

“For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty.”

This soldier was intrepid. He was fearless and brave and courageous and bold. And he kept being intrepid. He did not fail at the task at hand.

I want to be like that. I want to display intrepidity. I want to be intrepid. I don’t want to be timid or insipid or frail.

I want to be remembered for living an intrepid life, but mostly, an intrepid life for Jesus.

I know many people who are intrepid; those who live a life where nothing seems to stand in the way. I know why they are intrepid too...why they live a “resolutely fearless” life. It’s because God is at the centre of it and they know it, feel it and live it.

“Resolutely fearless”. It sounds like the title to a movie. It sounds brave, courageous and bold. It IS fearless. It is being undaunted by the world. And therein lies the key - being undaunted by the world.

Christine Caine, founder of the A21 Campaign, writes about this in her book titled “Undaunted”. She “offers life-transforming insights about how not only to overcome the challenges, wrong turns, and often painful circumstances we all experience, but also to actually grow from those experiences and be equipped and empowered to help others.” Christine does live a “resolutely fearless” life, but she has overcome a lot of hurdles to do so. And all the while, Jesus was by her side. If you get a chance, please read her book. You will be blessed and changed by it.

Where does that leave me so that I can live an intrepid life? I believe intrepidity is in relying wholly and solely on God by making Him the centre of everything and allowing Him to be your strength. Prayer, meditation, soaking in His presence and studying His Word is a good start. But it doesn’t end there as there are life changes to be made. There is simplicity to be achieved, the lures of the world have to be blocked out, and new habits must be formed.

I think I’ve happened upon the inspiration to turn my life around.

Intrepidity. Being resolutely fearless.

Try it with me?

BF2013: Believe...

I believe in God: in His magnificance, omnipotence and omnipresence. In His genuine, unchanging and complete love for me.

I believe in Jesus as my Saviour: that He died for my sins and rose from the dead so that I can have eternal life.

I believe in the Holy Spirit: of the indwelling of the Spirit within me to guide me and keep my paths straight.

I believe in the Cross: that on the two slabs of wood on which my Saviour bled and died for me, my salvation was assured.

I believe in the Bible: the Living Word, the guide to steer me through life on this earth, the lessons learnt and the words of comfort received from within its pages.

"I believe there is more than believing. There is living what I believe." - Ann Voskamp

PS: Post inspired by receiving the "Believe" plaque in the photo above as a gift today, and by Ann Voskamp's "What I Believe" on her Holy Experience web-site.