I'm tired. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally tired too. It's because I don't sleep well. It's because I deal with a daily bout of anxiety that my little white pills 80% succeed in keeping under control. It's because outside influences push change on my life that isn't always welcome.
But that's life. Not just for me, but for many, if not all, of us.
I'm not whinging out this, just stating fact. And while I don't use my depression and anxiety as a cop out, it does impact how I cope with life, and what, and whom, I allow to affect the life of my daughter and I.
I recall feeling tired almost three years ago. It was four months after I had my nervous breakdown. I was tired, worn out and burned out by life. And while I'm not in that state now, I am weary. I can feel it in my bones, my heart and my mind.
The bone weariness is due to a physical illness that attacks me every summer. Fibromyalgia, the painful auto-immune disease whereby my body aches and burns. Where ice blocks applied directly to my skin and ibuprofen promptly consumed are the only two things, outside of air conditioning that is, that ease my pain.
The heart weariness is because of the emotional pain that I see others go through. It is because I am raising a nine year old daughter who has started going through "the change" (yes, it applies for tweens too!). It is because the world itself is becoming more and more messed up as each day, week, month and year go by. (Bring back the simplicity of the 1970s, I say!)
The mind weariness basically comes from being "bone weary". From my body being tired. I don't sleep well, so thus my body and mind are not being renewed as they should. It's also from the busyness of life. Of the busyness that I inflict, which I'm planning on reducing, and the busyness that others inflict on my life.
It's a vicious circle. It's a merry-go-round that keeps getting faster and faster whereby holding on causes unnecessary weariness.
It's a merry-go-round we create, and control, ourselves.
What is the solution? Those who know Jesus already know that He is. Overcoming weariness requires focus and commitment to the Lord. I found 45 Bible verses that deal with the topic "weary". I've printed them out and am going to write them out longhand. Commit them to my heart.
Remember that it is only Jesus who can help my weariness.
Do you feel weary too?