Leave It Up to Him...

Do you ever have days when you wonder why some can't just trust God in His complete omnipresence and omnipotence and have to question the whys and wherefores of this existence of earth? Why love and grace and compassion and hardship can't just be accepted, and trust and complete reliance is placed on God for what it is: His promise of a love-filled life with Him?

I do, and I am.

I've experienced enough over the last few years to realise that much of the time the hard stuff we deal with is the best thing for us. That a cruisy, problem free life is actually a boring one, and that pain and heartache are like dumbbells to the heart, causing it to become stronger even though we don't feel immediate reward.

I long for the eternal life. For this earthly journey to be over and for the peace of sitting at Jesus' feet to come. But because of the dumbbells to the heart, I have to wait as my eternal reward is not immediate.

What do I do in the meantime?

I experience love and grace and compassion and hardship.
I deal with the hard stuff because it is the best thing.
I long for the eternal life, but know I am to continue running this earthly race to gain my prize.

I learn.
I long.
I live.
I love.
I let go.

I leave it up to Him.

On Grace and God...

"He bestows upon me His divine love and protection. I am sanctified by His favour. He grants His power and excellence over my life. This is grace. His grace. The words of man may reach my heart and soul, but those words, nor the intention behind them, will never negate who I am to God and in God." - Paula C. Whitehouse

Happy "Freedom Birthday" To Me...

Tomorrow marks the 26th anniversary of what I affectionately refer to as my "Freedom Birthday" It's the day when I became a Christian in 1984. Don't cheer too soon though, as in these 26 years, I have only actually walked closely with the Lord for just under eight of them. Yes, disappointing, I know...

However, I am not disappointed, and neither is God. Actually, what I look back on as a crazy 18 years of doing my own thing, now forms the basis of my message. But, it's not just those 18 years that were crazy as the last 4 years have been too. A Keanu “Whoa!” moment here, if you please!

While I had the foundational knowledge of God, Jesus, Christianity, etc when I returned to my walk with God four years ago, I did not actually know the true mean of the freedom that faith, and more importantly trust, in God provides. There is an obvious difference between saying that you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins (anyone can say that actually), to actually feeling it in your heart, living it and having the true freedom it provides.

I grew up adhering to the rules that are in the Bible, or more to the point trying to adhere to them but failing miserably. The notion that I was being a naughty girl by not doing as I was told led me to feel guilt and shame. I rebelled majorly when I was eighteen and I now wish, in some aspects, that I had not.

I’ve learnt over the last four years that adhering to the rules of the Bible is not what it is all about. That is legalism. That is living by the law that was set down in the Old Testament when the Israelites only had sacrifices to give. I now live by grace, which was given to all of us who accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour when the ultimate – and last - sacrifice took place. It was when God in Flesh, Jesus, died on the cross for our sins – past, present AND future.

I will not be able to live the next thirty plus years living by the law, but I know that I will be able to live by grace. The relief of knowing that God has forgiven me of my sins, loves me anyway, and wants me to share this forgiveness and love with those who do, and do not, know Him.

So…Happy Freedom Birthday to Me!

Thank you God for creating me, thank you Jesus for saving me and thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me.

Perfect Cleansing...

Hebrews 10:1-18 was the passage of scripture I read during my quiet time this morning. I am totally enthralled with what was revealed to me during this time, and especially because it was at 4:30am! These verses are in the NLT under the heading of "Christ's Sacrifice for All."

As I read through the passage, thoughts about patterns of verbal and emotional abuse, whether that be from others, or the suffering a person can inflict on themselves, came into mind. I asked myself if this type of behaviour could come about because grace has not been truly felt? Could this also apply to angry outbursts? Could this be why I still suffer from guilt, shame and regret, and why I lash out angrily at times?

"...never able to provide perfect cleansing..." The sacrifices of old were never able to save and cleanse completely. It was just an act, a deed. Something that was actioned carnally but not felt inside where God sees and knows...the heart.

Verse two gives insight into why the Israelites could never receive perfect cleansing - complete grace, if you like - from the animal and grain offerings they provided as sacrifices. "If they could have provided perfect cleansing, the sacrifices would have stopped, for the worshipers would have been purified once for all time, and their feelings of guilt would have disappeared." They had no choice but to keep offering these sacrifices because it was not yet their time to receive God's complete grace.

"But instead, those sacrifices actually reminded them of their sins year after year." Wow! This is verse three! Wow again! This verse spoke to me and made me ask myself, "Is saying sorry after getting angry and lashing out just a reminder of sin?" I believe that it is. It's a cycle...it, in its varying situations, is emotional and verbal abuse.

Verse four tells how "it is not possible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins", no more than it is possible for a "sorry" to really take away the hurt from when one is wronged against. And it is just not possible for that mere word - sorry - to take away sin, guilt and shame.

How to overcome this? Regarding the hurt from others; seeking God and forgiving the other person (releasing yourself in the process!) is the answer. As far as overcoming angry outbursts, sin, guilt and shame, verse 9 has the answer. "Look, I have come to do your will." Yes, fix your eyes and heart on God and stay focused on Him and His will; how He wants you to treat others, how He wants you to use your emotions and tongue. Jesus did His will, and so can we.

Jesus was offered as a "single sacrifice" (v 12). Under the old covenant the priest stood before the altar offering the same sacrifices over and over. We don't have to do that as "our High Priest offered Himself...for all time." Jesus took the sin, the guilt and the shame for us.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me yesterday while driving, which I believe ties into today's scripture passage and learning's. He told me to honour God by how I respect the speed limit! He then told me to honour God in everything I do. I thought more on that and concluded that I need to honour God in EVERY aspect of my life - to do His will! God's perfect will for my life.

All of this was a lot to take in at 4:30am but it was amazing! I felt like a weight had been lift from my heart. The striving to find out why I still felt guilt and shame from my past all uncovered in one reading. The simple answer to the problem: do His will.

Points to remember on this include that offering the same sacrifices over and over will never take away sin (v 11). Always remember Christ as the single sacrifice; that under the new covenant God has put His law in our hearts and has written it on our minds (v 16); and that He said, "I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds." (v 17).

If He doesn't remember our sins, then neither should we. Saying sorry over and over is just a reminder. Don't live life as an "angry outburst"...change the behaviour; get rid of it! I know I am going to. And I know I am going to do God's will.

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter 1 - An Open Door...

It's been a long time between Yes to God Tuesday posts, so welcome to the US summer/Australian winter study on Liz Curtis Higgs' already wonderful book, "Embrace Grace". The study is hosted by Lelia at Write From The Heart. Pop on over and see her ... you are in for a treat!

Now, to this week's chapter. From turning the first page of this chapter, to the end, it was amazing. And, it’s only the start of the book! I am SO looking forward to what the remainder of Liz has to offer.

“See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.” – Revelation 3:8

First chapter … first page … first verse … first new revelation.

It’s a comforting promise from our Heavenly Father that needs to be remembered. No one can shut the door to Him on us. The enemy may try through various means, but it just cannot be shut.

I love the way this book is written. Liz’s manner of communicating with her reader – of talking to her like she is sitting in the same room – is refreshing. She opens the book with, “I’ve been waiting for you.” It sounds like someone else we know – our Heavenly Father, who is waiting for us to dig deeper into His Word and do just what Liz suggests and embrace grace.

Liz points out that while she does not know some things about her readers, there are some things that she knows. How we “...need to be loved unconditionally, the desire to live a life that truly matters, the longing to shed a tightly woven mantle of guilt.”

The old wool coat analogy Liz uses is so apt. “...am I the only woman who wears past failures and present mistakes like an old wool coat, scratchy and uncomfortable, chafing the skin around my neck?” No, she is not, hence why she knew to write this book.

I’ve been able to take my old wool coat off over this last week or so. A couple of totally unexpected occurrences have cropped up that have not only shaken me but made me stronger. These instances have made me stand up for who I am and remember, not just wonder; who I am in God’s eyes and in the lives of significant people in my life.

The enemy wants me to keep putting that old wool coat on, but living here in Brisbane, even in the cooler months, it is just a little too stifling to even consider. Amen and thank the Lord for strengthening of character and a realised sense of worth.

So now, let’s get back to the book. Liz points out that “No one can sense our warmth through the thick fabric (of the old wool coat).” I scribbled after that in the book – “Not even I can.” To me that is pretty heavy stuff and a timely realisation considering the events of late. I have been struggling for a long while now to see myself how God and other people see me; now I can. My warmth is starting to rub off on me. Maybe I’m finally starting to like myself?

Liz writes that “Maybe it’s time to release that burden and lift our arms toward the One who loves us most.” Yes, it is time. Oh, how it’s time! “Take hold of the life that is truly life”, it says in 1 Timothy 6:19. Take hold of “The forgiven life...the grace-filled life.”

The chapter moves through with quotes from other women who feel exactly the same about themselves as I do about me. Liz reminds us that “The battle is genuine, yet the grace of God prevails.”

Liz also reminds us to not look for comfort in humans. “Be assured, no one —man, woman, or child —says “I love you” with more certainty than the Lord ... When your friends and loved ones fail you, God remains by your side, steadfast and true.” My experiences over the last two weeks are proof of that. God was with me through my trials; embracing me, holding me upright, comforting me and reassuring me. Yes, others were able to provide some relief and comfort, but it was God, in my alone and fearful times, who really pulled me through.

One of the questions Liz asked at the end of the chapter was, “What words do you wish God would whisper in your ear?” My answer was that I’m going to be OK, that I don’t have to feel alone and rejected, and that my heart will be made whole again. He has spoken these words to me as I am OK, I don’t feel alone or rejected and my heart feels whole once again.

Liz then asked “Are all things possible with God? How can you be sure of your answer?” Yes, they are possible. I’ve seen Him provide and heal. I’ve seen Jesus standing in front of me, I’ve felt Him reach out and touch me and I’ve heard His voice say that it’s OK. I’ve had prayers answered instantly and I’ve had immediate healing. All things ARE possible with God, including the promise of me being able to embrace grace and walk on in my forgiven life.