On Grace and God...

"He bestows upon me His divine love and protection. I am sanctified by His favour. He grants His power and excellence over my life. This is grace. His grace. The words of man may reach my heart and soul, but those words, nor the intention behind them, will never negate who I am to God and in God." - Paula C. Whitehouse

Some Things You Just Can't Forget...

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

This quote explains exactly how I feel at present, how I have felt in the past, and how I will most likely feel in the future. The pain of being made to feel less than what I deserve. Whether it be from a lover, a coworker, a boss, a school student, a brother, or a friend, I've experienced the pain of being made to feel hurt and humiliated.

Now, I know I'm not alone in this, as we all experience it, and from both sides. The difficult part is what Ms Angelou concludes with:

"...people will never forget how you made them feel."

That is exactly right. And what is also right is that people deal with this differently. We are all individual and all have different coping mechanisms. Some are recommended and some are not, but at the end of the day it's up to each individual to decided how best they cope. I certainly know how I cope, and while it's perhaps not the recommended way, it's my way.

Part of the way I cope is through words, hence this post. I write. I get it out. And for me it helps as I can't have how I feel bottled up inside as it makes me emotionally, physically, and mentally ill. I can't always talk it out, and sometimes it is never talked about again. But that is how I cope.

I know I take crazy risks by being this way, but that is me. I'm stubborn, timid, vulnerable, strong, a smart mouth and a little crazy. Alternative aspects of my personality constantly playing against each other. I can live with that. God can too. And for that I am thankful.

Paula xo

Life Above the Negativity...

Easter is 40 days away. Yes, that means Lent. What am I doing this year to bring me closer to The One that died to save my sins? I am giving up negativity!

It's so easy to get caught up in the ways of the world and be negative about everything, especially with how the world is at the moment with natural disasters, uprisings in countries, etc. It's easy to complain and blame others for your misfortunes. But these things are not favourable in God's eyes.

I know that I have spent time complaining and being negative in my life. Since battling with depression and anxiety, complaining and negativity are two things that I have been learning to avoid. Whether that be situations, people, music, movies, etc, I have learned to avoid them. I actually feel rather oppressed when I am in a negative situation.

So, what am I doing to give up negativity? I'm joining Reverend Trevor Lund over at Life Above the Negativity for the 2011 International Negativity Fast. Forty days of meditating on God's Word and re-learning how to think, say and do positiveness wholly and solely to honour Him.

I found a choice verse for this fast too:

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." - Psalm 19:14 (NLT)

If you'd like to join me in this fast, see the picture on my sidebar. Also, you can click here and sign up for daily emails, and also 'Like' Living Life Above the Negativity on Facebook. Also, have a look around the site for Bible reading plans, a personalised book of Ephesians, and much more!

It could be the beginning of a whole new life for you!

Being Discombobulated...

Now, I know that sharing a photo and link to a fight scene is really not appropriate for a Christian blog but go with me on it. I have shared both to show where I my interest in the word “discombobulate” came from. Yes, Robert Downey Jr as Sherlock Holmes in a fight scene. I liked the way he said “discombobulate” when going through fight techniques (yes, I like fight scenes in movies. I’m not a “chick flick” kind of girl!), but then I decided that I needed to know what it meant exactly.

Discombobulate means “to confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate.” For example, “the speaker was completely discombobulated by the hecklers.” In the Sherlock Holmes’ fight scene, he discombobulates his opponent with a double hit to the head.

On pondering the word, I have resolved that I have been, on many occasions, discombobulated. I have been confused and disconcerted, upset and very frustrated. My anxiety has caused me to be discombobulated (in fact my psychologist and I spoke about this exact word today!). But the good news is that I am overcoming it!

I thought about Jesus when contemplating this word. Even though He was heckled, jeered, attacked, etc by those who hated him and wanted him dead, He never became discombobulated. Peter and Judas, on the other hand, were discombobulated in the hours after Jesus’ arrest. Peter because he couldn't man up and claim he knew Jesus and had been His disciple; Judas because he knew that He had sent Jesus to his death and regretted it.

What is the lesson we can learn here when comparing these men? The fact that one is God and the other were human gives a hint to why one wasn't discombobulated and the others were. But the fact that Jesus was here on earth as a man - someone who knew and experienced all that humans did - yet did not take His eyes off God is the answer to why He did not become discombobulated.

Fix your eyes on the Lord so you don't become discombobulated, confused, disconcerted, upset and frustrated.

I have moments where I am very discombobulated. It's unnerving to feel that way, and sometimes scary. But the One who is able to make all paths straight is the One that lifts me out of those moments, plants me on my two feet again and gives me a gentle nudge forward.

Life can be full of discombobulated moments. Turn your eyes to God for clear vision and a peaceful heart; it works!