Total Reliance...

After a discussion with a dear friend the other day about our blog pages, I realised that I am not one for consistency. At the beginning of year I (once again) set myself a goal to memorise 24 verses before December 31. Well, I get a big F for FAIL on that. With working full-time, being a solo mum, and have other interests and responsibilities, I just haven’t been able to do it!

The other goal I had was to cover a word a month. Now THAT I can do, even though I had planned to post weekly on it...

Anyhow, to my word list!

It seems that God had plans for my year when He gave me each of my words. Every month so far my life has been impacted by each word.

This year I’ve dealt with forgiveness, acceptance, relationships, strength, simplicity and now reliance.

Forgiveness - by forgiving others of the wrongs they have done towards me.
Acceptance - in being able to accept me for whom I am, and whose I am.
Relationships – deepening my relationship with Jesus, while applying clear focus and boundaries to other relationships.
Strength – resting in God for the strength I needed, and still need, while battling illness and other issues.
Simplicity – finally realising a yearlong dream of taking time off work to simplify my life. This has entailed spending time at home just being a mum, having a birthday holiday with my family, and doing some much needed spring cleaning (culling and cleansing) at home.

This now leads me to ‘reliance’ as my word for June.

Reliance...this is a tricky one for someone who is self-reliant, stubborn yet shy and more suited to a hermit’s existence than one with people around ALL. THE. TIME!

Over the last few months I’ve had to accept help from others. I have always found asking for and receiving help difficult. I’m learning to change that now though. I’ve had too. I’ve been sick on and off now for almost three months. Life has been difficult at times. But I am thankful for the friends and family who have been there for me.

The ‘reliance’ clincher though has been relying on God. Knowing that He has everything I need to get through my trials has been a blessing. But actually relying on Him is easier said than done.

Because He can’t be seen, because we have to wait on Him to answer us, because we think we can do a better job of living our lives our way, because we turn to others first because they are right in front of us. All these reasons, and more, make us NOT rely on God as we should. Well, at least for me, this is true. But that is changing...

I’m learning to rest more in Him, which in turn allows me to rely more on Him when troubles arise. I’m learning to not worry as much as I used to. I currently have zip, zilch and nada in my savings. I owe WAY too much on my credit card than what I would like. I feel at times that I live precariously on the edge. But, in saying all that, I have learnt that He will provide as long as I rely on Him.

I have fullness in my heart. I have a roof over my head, fuel in my car and food in my cupboards. I am a good provider and have a comfortable home in which I am raising my daughter. I have family and friends who encourage, bless and love me. And all of this comes from God.

Reliance...on Him...completely, totally and for always.

In which areas of your life could you rely more on God? Do you have any techniques or reminders that prompt you to look to Him when a concern arises?

Maintaining Faith...

I'm learning a lot about faith of late. I believe that faith and focus go hand in hand. I must keep my focus on Jesus to keep my faith in Him strong. I have never, ever doubted the existence of God or that Jesus came to earth to die for my sins. My belief has been unshakeable, but what about my faith?

Let's just say that it's deepening as I become more focused and more reliant on Him for the strength I need. I just need to put my foot out into the Jordan in an act of faith and let Him do the rest.

My 24 in 2010 scripture memory verse for the 15th of April talks about faith in Jesus. My focus has shifted to Him as the ultimate comfort for the lack I've felt in my life. I am finally feeling - not just thinking about, but feeling - His power in my life. Over the last few weeks I have literally cried out to Him on a weekly basis to help me, to give me strength and to take the pain away. But as my reading of Revelation revealed to me two nights ago, the pain is purposeful.

"...God's holy people must endure persecution patiently, obeying his commands and maintaining their faith in Jesus." - Revelation 14:12 NLT

I don't 'do' patient very well, nor do I 'do' persecution, obeying and maintaining. I am learning though. Slowly, but surely. As I feel myself exiting the wilderness that has been my life for the last 40 years, I can feel myself becoming more patient, tolerating persecution better, obeying what He wants me to do and maintaining my faith in Jesus.

Jesus the Gentleman loves me. God the Father adores me. The Holy Spirit guides me. I ask you, what more could a girl want in life at this point in time?

Thank You Heavenly Father for Your Word and the wisdom it bestows on me right when I need it, and right on time. Enduring persecution patiently is a strengthening tool that You use to help us maintain our faith. It works and it's perfect, just like You. In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen

His Faithful Promises...

There are just so many faithful promises that God bestows upon us. At this point in time I need to have these promises written on paper for me to see and also written on my heart to feel.

He is a faithful Father full of loving kindness, gracious mercies and a never-ending and undying unconditional love for us. And that is what I need right now; to know that despite the changes that are occurring in my life, despite the ache that I feel deep down in my soul because of these changes, He is providing me with all these things in addition to His faithful promises.

Today marks the beginning of April. Can you believe that? I certainly can't! This year has passed in a blur for me so far. I hit the floor running on my return to work on the 4th of January and I feel that I have not stopped since. Suffice to say, I am run down, sick and bordering on being burnt out. I don't have much left in my reserve tank and am ever so thankful that Easter is almost upon us. Not only because of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, and for His resurrection, but also because I get almost a whole week of 'me' time while my girl holidays with her father and his family.

As it's the 1st of April, it's time for a new 24 in 2010 scripture memory verse. And these verses may well be the most comforting verses - as in emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically pleasing verses - I have found so far in His Word.

4 He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

nor the arrow that flies in the day.

- Psalm 91:4-5 (NLT)

Never, ever before have I needed to feel this kind of comfort than I do now.

When I read verse 4, I imagine large white pristine feathers, like the swan feathers above, covering me completely. I imagine sitting on a rock ledge with these holy wings covering me and hiding me on the ledge as the war for my heart and soul wages on around me. I imagine feeling a warmth and sense of security like I never have before. I imagine touching the feathers and feeling the sheer strength from them, while also caressing the softness. Knowing, just knowing...even without looking...that the One being in the whole entire universe who is able to protect me from everything and anything is right above me keeping guard over my life.

Verse 5 is especially significant to me as I am scared of the dark, suffer from insomnia and have the craziest dreams. I have been scared of going to sleep for many years now as the night seems longer than the day to me, and the stillness and black covering of the night intimidates me. For many years I slept with a night light on, and even now I have to have one light on in the house throughout the night. Waking up in the pitch black of the night after a bad dream and not knowing where I am is my terror. To combat that now, in addition to the light, is that I speak with God when I wake. I talk to Him just like He is in the room, because He is. Protecting me, covering me and comforting me.

As for the arrow that flies in the day. I do often think that it's an arrow I've shot at myself that I need to steer clear of. My doubts, insecurities, uncertainty, confused mind, tired body, and more, are all the things that reek havoc on me during the day. I hope to, with God's help, overcome these things as time progresses, and especially as I journey closer with Him and learn to love and accept myself how He does.

He is a faithful Father, protector and comforter. I am thankful that I have Him as an active part in my life; not just a dormant bystander waiting for me to turn and look in His direction.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for patiently standing by me and waiting for me. Thank You for providing Your Heavenly wings as a means of comfort through difficult times. Thank You for loving me like no other can. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.

Fretting? Anxious? Nope, Not Me...

Well, it's the 15th and that means another verse for my 24 in 2010. Now, while I'm still not memorising each verse word for word (like my little girl is doing with her Alphabet Memory Verses this year), I am slowly getting each promise from God to seep into my gray matter!

Tonight while cutting sandwiches, folding washing, mending holes in little girl clothes and now relaxing in bed with a cup of tea and my knitting, I have been listening to Joyce Meyer. I haven't listened to her preach for a long time and didn't realise I missed it until now. She is straight to the point, doesn't mince words, and puts everything so practically that even a child could get it.

The first preach I watched was called Simple Prayer and Simple Life Part 1 (3/11/2010 podcast). I found it valuable and refreshing. If you can take some time, please watch it as the message Joyce shares is practical and worthwhile.

The preach ended in a verse that I love, taken from the Amplified version...Philippians 4:6 -

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

I prefer the verse from the NIV, and I also love verse 7 -

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

These verses saved my sanity last year when I went through two particularly rough patches. I was reminded by these verses that God has everything under control and the I am to have faith and trust in Him. He will take care of all my needs, He will act on my behave to avenge any wrongs done against me, and He will love me more than ANYBODY on this planet will ever do.

I get excited when I think that God knows me better than anyone else does, including myself. He knows of my potential and how to build me up in spite of my weaknesses. He knows my heart and my mind. He provides something that nothing else in this universe could ever give - peace, assurance, unconditional love.

I need to reverently meet Him more often; verbalising my concerns and feelings. Yes, He already knows them, but He needs these things to be spoken out. To be given to Him. Then, and only then, can He act on them. The joy in verse 6 is this - we can take anything to God and He will answer us. Whether it be in our time or His time, well, that's His choice. But He will. He will take away our anxiety and cause us to no longer fret about things that He has in control.

So, to my verse for this month. As the New Living Translation is my weapon of choice this year (thanks to the lovely Jo Princess Warrior), I will be memorising this -

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Thank You dear Heavenly Father for your wisdom, love and protection. Thank You for the reassurance Your presence brings by knowing, quite simply and easily, that You are watching over us and out for us. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen

PS: DON'T FORGET! One post to go and it's giveaway time here! I have a great book to give away to a lucky commenter. Keep your eyes peeled! And yes, I will post it to ANYWHERE in the world!

More Conscience Cleansing...

Last week I posted on Conscience Cleansing. It was about the discovery of two verses that have helped me to understand why, even though I am saved, I still feel guilt and shame for my past and my behaviours. Yesterday, while listening to a Kenneth Copeland Believers Voice of Victory Broadcast, I learnt more about conscience cleansing.

The title of the broadcast is "Meditate on God's Word and Get His Results". Fifteen minutes and forty-five seconds into the broadcast came the clincher that gave me the instruction on how to clear my conscience...

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32 (NIV)

Below are some notes I typed out while listening. Some from Kenneth Copeland and his guest Bill Winston mixed with my paraphrases:

It's OK to let your conscience be your guide as long as your conscience has been re-programmed with the truth...if it knows what it's talking about. It can only take the information that has been put in there. If it hasn't be reprogrammed with the truth, it will be a bad guide. Your conscience can only use the information that has been put in there. Only trust your conscience if it is filled with what God wants it to be filled with. Have the mind of Christ. Put the Word first place. This is final authority.

The Word is a mirror and is showing us how we should look!

I need to fill my conscience with new material! I need to immerse myself in the Word! I need to re-program my conscience! I need to remove the enemy's mindless prattle and inaccurate accusations and re-fill my conscience with the truth from our Heavenly Father. The truth that I am valued, loved, worthy, precious and loved unconditionally by Him!

Two other verses from Hebrews that also speak on the conscience are:

"...let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." - Hebrews 10:22 (NLT)

"Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do." - Hebrews 13:18

I am ever so thankful that I was led to all these verses (the above two and the first two from my previous post. I firmly believe that this revelation was shared with me at the right time...when I would be most able to understand it.

Given these discoveries, my "24 in 2010" scripture memory verse for the 1st of March is...

Hebrews 10:22b - "...For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water."

I have been made clean and washed with pure water. I must remember this. I must not let the enemy have his way and accuse me of what I have been cleared of.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of Your Word and the realisation that my conscience needed to be cleansed. In Jesus' Wonderful name, Amen.

Accepting the Exception...

The exception to the rule, that is. I am zapped and it's only Tuesday! Why does it feel like Friday? Is it because first thing Monday morning when I rocked into work I was asked questions within what seemed like a split second of putting my bag on my desk? It is because for the last few days I've had to deal with a maturing 5 (nearly 6) year old who tests my patience no end? Is it because the weather has been so crazy with heat then rain that my poor fibromyalgia-effected body doesn't know whether it's coming or going?

It is all of the above and more, with the more being tonight me making a faux pas of not monumental measure, but enough to make me feel a tad foolish. And no, don't anyone ask me to repeat the tale, as for me it's a very valuable lesson.

Matthew 11:28 tells us that when we are weary and heavy-laden, we are to come to the Lord. So, that is exactly where I'm going once I finish this post. To the One who will take me under His wings and protect me from the terror of the night (yes, I am afraid of the dark) and shield me from the fiery arrows of the enemy during the day.

I'm going to use this post as my Word List post for the week, and also fit in my 24 in 2010 scripture verse and a blog prize and more, so here goes...

My scripture memory verse for the 15th of this month is Psalm 34:4 -

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

I was feeling fearful yesterday after calling my real estate agent to see whether or not my lease had been renewed. I asked my wonderful friend Jo Princess Warrior to pray for me. Not only did she pray but she also sent me some 'medicine', being Psalm 34:4-5 from the New Living Translation (and yes, my lease has been renewed for another 6 months with only a small monetary increase!). Wonderful words of comfort and promise that instantly calmed my nerves and made the fear leave. (Please see Extravagant Grace for some wonderful verse buttons from Philippians!)

Speaking of the lovely Jo, she gave me a 'When Life Gives You Lemons...Set Up A Lemonade Stand' award today. I am blessed! So, to bless some others I would like to give this award to my lovely blog friends Lelia at Write From The Heart, Paula at His Ways ... Are Not Our Ways, and Heather at On The Road ...Walking With Jesus. These are all ladies who have taken the lemons of life and most definitely turned them into sweet tasting lemonade! And their lemonade, sweetened by the grace and ongoing comfort of God, has helped to heal me and help me in many areas of my life!


I want to also bring attention to the lovely Christy's blog, Critty Joy. She has come up with a new concept called 'Pouring Out' and I love it! The concept is that for one week a month she will give readers a few challenges and then at the end of the week we can post on them. Well, this week has presented two challenges - writing a letter and making a phone call. Sounds pretty simple, but how often do you do it? Please check out Christy's Pouring Out challenges here. I am behind the eight-ball already on them, but I WILL take up the challenge.


So, that is my 'accepting the exception' blog post, which I thought was going to be small but isn't, hehe. Another exciting thing to report is that my little cherub has her first loose tooth! I am happy yet sad as it means that my precious little girl is growing up! I love her to bits, and the love grows every day despite the developing of my patience!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessings of Your Word, the friends You have sent my way, the honour of being 'Mummy' to my precious little girl, and for helping me to work out the reason behind my faux pas tonight. I thank You for all that You do for me. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.



(PS: Please check out my post below on Saigon the circus elephant.)

Still Pondering Humility...

Can you believe that it's the 1st of February already? Just incredible. What's even more incredible is that I still haven't taken my Christmas tree down...argh! It's this week's project, haha. Well, the other day I posted on being smaller given that my name means 'small', which to me means humility also. Over the next two weeks I am going to concentrate on memorising my third verse for the year to be more humble, small and quiet. (Yes, I will need your prayers!)

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:10 (NIV)

I've learnt over the last few weeks that I do need to humble myself before the Lord and wait on Him for guidance. I read yesterday on not grieving or quenching the Spirit. I seem to have been doing that a bit. I am meditating more on that area for improvement also.

Today is also the day to post my next WordList selection - acceptance - but as the 1st has fallen on a Monday, I will post on that in the next couple of days. Acceptance is most apt for this month, given that forgiveness was last month's word. As with all my words for this year, I will be looking upon them from the perspective of living like Jesus. Of adopting His attributes and living in the Spirit and waiting on God's word for guidance.

The last three weeks have been tumultuous with alot of truths being shared, changes made, sins revealed, hearts opened, relationships shifted and weaknesses - and strengths - revealed. I know God has great things planned for me this year. I know that my exit from my wilderness is approaching.

Dear Heavenly Father, as I learn all these new lessons and continue on in my training for the battle, I pray that I can humble myself - limit myself - so that You can lift me up, so that I can honour You and so that I can share Your love with others. I pray for those who do not understand the path that I am on. I pray that I fully understand that same path. I thank You for the blessing of those near and dear to me. For not only their love for me, but their acceptance of me with all my faults and flaws. Praying always in Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.

On Being Smaller...

Ever since I first saw this photo of Jet Li in front of the Jesus statue in Corcovado, I've liked it, and I thought I'd use it to highlight how small I feel when it comes to the greatness of God.

I read this verse tonight -

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:10 (NIV)

It got me thinking how much I like this verse as my name means "small...humble".

James 4:10 also tells of what has been happening in my life over the last week. I have humbled myself before Him and He has lifted me up in so many ways.

This verse will be featuring again next week on my blog as it will be my memory verse for the first of February.

To be small and humble...to follow Him...my name...my purpose.

What Will Your Tongue Choose?

Well, the Fifteenth Day of Twenty Ten has rocked around rather swiftly, which means that it is time for my next memory verse. Last month my verse was Psalm 119:50 (NIV) and was full of encouragement and life. This month I've gone with another verse pertaining to life -

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." - Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)

As with almost everything in life, we have choices. We may not get a choice to go to work or not (as we need the moolah). We may not get a choice whether we freckle in the sun or not (I'm the former!). But we do get a choice what we do with our tongue.

Now I have a short fuse, a fast mouth and an even slower brain but with the Lord's help I am learning to curb the impulse to fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. He is helping me to do this by blessing (yes, blessing!) me with a chatter box daughter, aka Yip Yap. She is a precious gem, but she talks, talks and talks. It is said the apple doesn't not fall far from the tree, so please...call me Ms Tree!

The mere fact that my daughter has about a 10 second attention span means that I don't get many opportunities to speak when she is on a roll. This is a good thing (at times) as it has been teaching me to keep my trap shut. I then get the chance to decide - make a choice - as to how I will respond.

I know God has a wonderful sense of humour, but how more amusing can it get than a chatter box mummy to be blessed with an even chattier child? He is the God of the impossible and the possible. I am both.

So, what will you choose? Life or death?

1 January 2010 : The Beginning of the New...

The 1st of January, 2010 has been an enjoyable day. My girlie and I went to the cinema to see "The Princess and the Frog". While not a fan of any type of love story (much), I did enjoy this one for it's real characters (as real as one can get in cartoon, that is!). Then it was home for lunch and a rest, and then into the city to visit with friends who are holidaying in Brisbane for a couple of days. Jasmine is now with her dad and grandma, and I am enjoying the solitude but missing my girl already.

As it's a new day, month and year, I have felt very excited about the possibilities for change and for pursuing the vision that God has for my life. With my word for the month being forgiveness, I will be doing some study and meditation on this and posting soon. Another delight from God that I will be studying, meditating on AND memorising is verse number one out of 24 for the year, which is:

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." - Psalm 119:50 (NIV)

There were SOOO many times during the latter half of 2009 that His promise did literally preserve my life! While I don't think I would have, or could have, done anything fatal to prematurely cease my existence here on earth, there were a few occasions where I wish it was just over. Finished. Kaput! I had had enough and I just didn't, point blank did not, or should that be DID. NOT., want to be here.

I did really know otherwise though. I knew the truth. My 'sane' self kept telling my 'insane' self that I was meant to be here. Praise God for the Holy Spirit sticking so closely by me during those very low patches.

So, what is God's promise? It is His peace, love, grace, mercy, compassion, and also His vision for me. As that is my theme for 2010, I feel that I must look into every circumstance and find what His vision was and is for me. Last year it was to become stronger in myself through Him, and to draw closer to Him. This year...I don't know as yet, but I do feel that my 2010 Word List will help me see what it is.

I love Psalm 119:50 from the King James Version -

"This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me."

The Hebrew word 'chayah' (2421)...'quickened' means to save, revive...basically it means to live. Without Him, without His comfort, which is His hope as noted in verse 49, I would not be where I am today. I would still be, but I would still be struggling.

2010 is going to be an awesome year. I will not have it otherwise and I know that God will not either.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for keeping me nestled safely under your wings in 2009. Thank you for leading me out of the dark depths that tried to envelope me. Thank you for your peace, love, grace, mercy and compassion. I pray for a fruitful 2010 seeking after your vision for my life. In Jesus' wonderful name, Amen.



PS: Join me, and others, over at Extravagant Grace for the 24 Verses in 2010.

Twenty Ten Approaches...

Wow! It's incredible to think that in just two sleeps (yes, I'm a 'sleep' kinda girl) it will be 2010! Where did 2009 go to? I have no idea, but I do know that it was joyful yet tumultuous, inspiring yet challenging!

What will 2010 bring?

Well, I plan for it to bring character development, the end of my "Exit Wilderness Project", an improved and healthier me, and lots more!

To help me do this I am going to make a 2010 Word List that I found at An Imperfect Perfection and also start the year off by joining eLisa from Extravagant Grace in Living Intentionally. I am also going to start a Reflection Journal so I can keep myself on track.



Last year I started on the Siesta Scripture Memory Verse Team at LPM Blog, but dropped out half way through. This year, however, I'm going to take it up again and make sure that I DO memorise! There will be no excuse for not memorising in 2010.

I pray that your 2009 was a fruitful one, and that 2010 brings you many blessings and happy travelling on this wonderful journey we are on with God!