Milestone Love...

This month my word is 'love'. Last month it was 'reliance', and I did feel myself relying on Him in a lot of circumstances. It seems that I am in a lull with my writing, and as my friend Jo reminded me today, I am just not in a season for writing. Too true...

Given that, I want to share a milestone in the life of my darling little girl, Jasmine. She has lost her first tooth!

This auspicious event has been looming for a few weeks now since Jasmine gladly showed me her loose teeth (yes, she has more than one!). And after the shock and horror of tooth pain and blood, she now has a gap. The truth be known, I didn't even notice it was gone when I picked her up from vacation care last night...she had to show me!

So here's love to my lovely little toothless girl on her milestone...

Total Reliance...

After a discussion with a dear friend the other day about our blog pages, I realised that I am not one for consistency. At the beginning of year I (once again) set myself a goal to memorise 24 verses before December 31. Well, I get a big F for FAIL on that. With working full-time, being a solo mum, and have other interests and responsibilities, I just haven’t been able to do it!

The other goal I had was to cover a word a month. Now THAT I can do, even though I had planned to post weekly on it...

Anyhow, to my word list!

It seems that God had plans for my year when He gave me each of my words. Every month so far my life has been impacted by each word.

This year I’ve dealt with forgiveness, acceptance, relationships, strength, simplicity and now reliance.

Forgiveness - by forgiving others of the wrongs they have done towards me.
Acceptance - in being able to accept me for whom I am, and whose I am.
Relationships – deepening my relationship with Jesus, while applying clear focus and boundaries to other relationships.
Strength – resting in God for the strength I needed, and still need, while battling illness and other issues.
Simplicity – finally realising a yearlong dream of taking time off work to simplify my life. This has entailed spending time at home just being a mum, having a birthday holiday with my family, and doing some much needed spring cleaning (culling and cleansing) at home.

This now leads me to ‘reliance’ as my word for June.

Reliance...this is a tricky one for someone who is self-reliant, stubborn yet shy and more suited to a hermit’s existence than one with people around ALL. THE. TIME!

Over the last few months I’ve had to accept help from others. I have always found asking for and receiving help difficult. I’m learning to change that now though. I’ve had too. I’ve been sick on and off now for almost three months. Life has been difficult at times. But I am thankful for the friends and family who have been there for me.

The ‘reliance’ clincher though has been relying on God. Knowing that He has everything I need to get through my trials has been a blessing. But actually relying on Him is easier said than done.

Because He can’t be seen, because we have to wait on Him to answer us, because we think we can do a better job of living our lives our way, because we turn to others first because they are right in front of us. All these reasons, and more, make us NOT rely on God as we should. Well, at least for me, this is true. But that is changing...

I’m learning to rest more in Him, which in turn allows me to rely more on Him when troubles arise. I’m learning to not worry as much as I used to. I currently have zip, zilch and nada in my savings. I owe WAY too much on my credit card than what I would like. I feel at times that I live precariously on the edge. But, in saying all that, I have learnt that He will provide as long as I rely on Him.

I have fullness in my heart. I have a roof over my head, fuel in my car and food in my cupboards. I am a good provider and have a comfortable home in which I am raising my daughter. I have family and friends who encourage, bless and love me. And all of this comes from God.

Reliance...on Him...completely, totally and for always.

In which areas of your life could you rely more on God? Do you have any techniques or reminders that prompt you to look to Him when a concern arises?

My Strength...

The year is zooming by and it's April already. My daughter turns six years old in just under two weeks and I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by. But in looking back over the last six years, a lot of things have happened. A lot of changes. A lot of heartache and hurt. A lot of joyful and happy moments.

But things change. We change. Circumstances change. Levels of resilience change.

Last month was all about relationships for my 2010 Word List. As you can see from here, I only managed one post on the theme, but relationships are still on my mind. This month's theme, however, is strength. I am glad to be concentrating on this as He IS my strength. He is why, at this particular time of my life amid this change, I am able to hold my head up high and feel the reassurance in my heart that I am going to be OK.

I feel weak, feeble, tired, emotionally drained, and, most of all, I miss the man who shared my life for the last 4 years.

He came into my life when I needed strength and he gave it well. Over time, however, it became evident that I needed God's strength more than I needed that of a man. For those who have read my blog for a while now, you will know that I have spent my entire adult life - up until now - searching for unconditional love. I have learnt that I will never find it here on earth. It's the one thing we all crave, but it's the one thing we won't find...outside of God, that is.

Psalm 46:1 in the NIV tells us that "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." This is so profoundly true.

I never actually realised how strong God's mighty power was until I started experiencing the hurt and pain I've felt over the last 9 months or so, and especially over the last week. Just by calling on His name and taking my concerns to Him, I have on many occasions been comforted by Him almost immediately. Other times I have had to endure some suffering before the hurt and pain subsided, but it did not happen without Him providing me with the strength I needed to cope.

He IS my strength.

He IS my mighty tower.

He IS my comfort and shield.

He IS my everything.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for providing me with Your strength through the times when I've needed it most. Thank You for always being here for me, either to provide an out for my current circumstance, or to strengthen me to endure it until the hurt and pain subsides. You are God who is good, faithful and the provider of an everlasting love that we all need so much. I love You. In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen.

iHoard for Relationships...

Now...while my hoarding doesn't leave me to have the same problem as the lady in the above photo, I hoard...aka iHoard (I wonder if Apple could make a device to stop hoarding, or make it simpler? Hmmm...). But I'm glad that I hoard!

I usually think it a not so good thing, as I know that my car would dearly love to be parked in the garage. But it can't, as I have TOOOOOO much stuff in there! But it's a good thing! Hoarding allows me to then bless others!

Tonight I was able to give a lady in need some goods that have been kicking around home for a while. I've been umming and ahhing about what to do with the goods - op shop them or dump them? Well, God gave me the answer a few nights back by a Note post on Facebook (see, Facebook IS good!).

I find it amazing how God works. This lady, who is pregnant and has a 9 month old baby, had to leave her home with almost nothing. She now has a roof over her head, a bed to sleep on, a cot for her baby (almost! It's still in my lounge, but will get there soon!), goods for the kitchen, and more. It's totally amazing and awe-inspiring how people in need can be helped when word is put out there!

But...that's what the family of God does; it helps those in need. It is love in action. (Oh...I can feel a Word List post happening here!)

Yes...it's about relationships!

It's about demonstrating love in action in a relationship. It's demonstrating GOD'S love in action. That, after all, is what God is about! Love, action and relationships.

I used to think that being a Christian meant just believing that Jesus died on the cross for my past sins and that I was meant to do no wrong. I was so NOT in the know that I didn't even get that despite any sin that I may commit now, I am going to heaven. Wow! Talk about being thankful to go from milk to meat in my spiritual walk! Being a Christian means demonstrating love...Jesus' love.

So, back to hoarding and what it has to do with relationships. Well, it's this...

One woman with one need (among many) asks for help. One organisation assists the one woman by connecting with others to provide. The others then assist the one woman (not forgetting the little cherubs involved too!) by the love that comes from one God.

Relationships = love in action.

I hope that if you see or hear of a need this week and you can help, that you put love in action, start a relationship (even if by a few degrees of separation) and share God's love. I don't know the lady I've helped and I may never meet her until we get to heaven. But we are connected by a relationship, and that is as daughters of the King, our Most High God and Father.

Who would have thought that my hoarding would teach me a lesson in relationships? Pretty neat, and so usual of our cool God. Yes...you KNOW He's cool! Admit it!

A Little Self-promotion Doesn't Hurt...

I was thinking about creating a Facebook fan page for my blog a couple of weeks ago and then Michelle Dennis Evans created one for her blog. It seems to be a bit of a trend in blogland, so I hopped on the bandwagon last night and Voila!...here is the link to my FB fan page - Facebook | Paula's Sharing Spot.

I think it's a good way to share my blog with more people; those who many not necessarily pop onto the blog itself. It's also a way to share specifics with people, like the memory verse link share I did tonight.

I know that my greatest fan of my page (and me!) is God because I am His and I am doing what He requires of me to share His love.

Speaking of doing what He requires of me...I had a thought last week of perhaps looking into changing my employment to some degree. The thought that I had was about doing two part-time jobs; one at my current job and the other with some Christian employment. Please pray that I will be guided in the right direction regarding this. I spoke with a work friend today who expressed that this would be a good thing. Your prayers please!

I am about to call it a night here after reading some Psalms. I'm hoping to get my Word List post on here sooner rather than later. It will be on 'relationships' and I'm praying that it will bless you. I mix with so many people during any one week that I know that God has something special for me to share; I will wait on Him for the words.

God's Naked Toenails...

You’re probably thinking “what is she talking about!” I’m talking about God and His unpainted, no varnish, plain and boring toenails. Why? Because I have them! “Ick” you might say. “Ick” is what I say, as for the first time ever, and I mean EVER, I have left my toenails unpainted and gone about my business. This isn’t through choice, I might add. It’s through necessity to keep me from wanting to chop off my aching big left toe.

I wasn’t blessed with the best toenails in the world, which are a mix of both my parent’s genes, and which have caused me no end of grief for the last 25 plus years. No court shoes, no canvas sneakers...yep, it’s opened toed shoes and thongs (flip flops) for this chick.

But, in my angst of not being able to varnish plus having a sore toe, I found God had a message for me. I don’t need to primp and preen. I don’t need to varnish. I just need to accept myself for whom and how I am. We are, after all, made in the image of God, so we must take this as a comfort and accept ourselves, including our foibles.

One thing I have struggled with over the years, and still do, is my body image. Looking at me, however, you might think that I have no reason too. Everyone, including the world’s most famous supermodels, has something about themselves that they don’t like. Mine is my bumpy nose (broken at roughly aged 8 and never fixed), my ‘sticky out’ ears (which have meant me NEVER wearing my hair up in public), my stocky legs (which really haven’t been an issue until the cellulite started to settle there) and, of course, my crazy toes!

God gave us some wonderful advice in 1 Samuel 16:7 when He “...said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” This verse got me thinking about how we accept ourselves, and others, and whether or not it’s the external or the internal that hooks us.

After seeing some ‘beauties’ on various web pages while surfing on the internet recently I started feeling rather insecure about myself. I’m only 5 foot 3 inches tall (161 centimetres), have short stocky legs, and all the other things I listed above. I don’t ‘do’ bikinis, I don’t get a tan, I cover up as I feel more comfortable that way, and, basically, I just don’t like sharing my body with all and sundry as some of these women do. I’m not here to judge them. Some of these women are very beautiful but I do wonder why they use their external self to try and fulfil an internal need.

I wrote the following after mulling over what I had seen and felt, what they were participating in (bikini clad chicks drinking copious amounts of alcohol by the pool and flirting with every male in sight, and generally there just for the attention) -

Beautiful smiles from beautiful people come from hearts filled with His love, not from what you look like on the outside. 'Developed / worked at' beauty fades and will disappear with time but hearts filled with His love don't. Don't EVER let what you see on magazine covers, TV, movies, etc, or just by looking at the person who 'works' to maintain their tan, shape, etc, determine who you think you should be. God knows who you are on the inside, and He's looking at your heart. That will determine how you spend eternity, not if you have perky (and most likely fake) D cups and a tan. DON'T BE FOOLED!

God does not want me to feel intimidated by these women and the expectation that I must conform to be like them to get attention. God wants me to love these women and to pray that someone comes into their lives that can show them the real love that they need to feel fulfilled. I am thankful that, despite my ongoing feelings of inadequacy when I see bronzed, blonde and buxom ‘beauties’, it’s more important that I have God’s love than the love of some testosterone fuelled male who looks at the carnal and not the spiritual.

Speaking of men...I attended a women’s conference at church last year and learnt about how men and women are wired differently and have a completely different chemical make-up from each other when it comes to visual attraction. The speaker talked about his attraction to a woman when he was young and how it floored him. He was happily married yet the mere sight of this woman caused his whole being to go crazy. He explained that this is how men are wired, and unless men learn about this and how to keep it under control, it can cause havoc in a man’s life.

This information was invaluable for me. I’ve always struggled in this area; of understanding why I wasn’t good enough. Learning about this helped me understand that the rejection I’ve suffered by men in my life wasn’t necessarily just about me, but also about how they are wired.

So ladies, I guess the purpose of this Word List post on acceptance is for you to realise that you, and I, are accepted for who we are on the inside and not on our outside selves. We’re accepted by our Lord and Saviour...as we are...stocky legs, crazy toes and all. In my last acceptance post I spoke on how we need to accept the shell we’re in as God loves our shell, and us!

I am learning to accept my unpainted toenails, even though I do have a little cringe when looking at them. But the cringe is worth more than sore aching toes. It’s about learning to accept me for who I am without the added extra of nail varnish. I’m not sure that I will ever be able to go without at least mascara and lip gloss, and a little powder to hide the shine, but I’m working on it!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for helping me to accept myself for who I am. Not as the world sees women, but how You see women; made to be a delight and an enhancement, not just a visual attraction. Thank You for loving me just as I am and for helping me to learn to love me for who I am also. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen.

Accepting the Exception...

The exception to the rule, that is. I am zapped and it's only Tuesday! Why does it feel like Friday? Is it because first thing Monday morning when I rocked into work I was asked questions within what seemed like a split second of putting my bag on my desk? It is because for the last few days I've had to deal with a maturing 5 (nearly 6) year old who tests my patience no end? Is it because the weather has been so crazy with heat then rain that my poor fibromyalgia-effected body doesn't know whether it's coming or going?

It is all of the above and more, with the more being tonight me making a faux pas of not monumental measure, but enough to make me feel a tad foolish. And no, don't anyone ask me to repeat the tale, as for me it's a very valuable lesson.

Matthew 11:28 tells us that when we are weary and heavy-laden, we are to come to the Lord. So, that is exactly where I'm going once I finish this post. To the One who will take me under His wings and protect me from the terror of the night (yes, I am afraid of the dark) and shield me from the fiery arrows of the enemy during the day.

I'm going to use this post as my Word List post for the week, and also fit in my 24 in 2010 scripture verse and a blog prize and more, so here goes...

My scripture memory verse for the 15th of this month is Psalm 34:4 -

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

I was feeling fearful yesterday after calling my real estate agent to see whether or not my lease had been renewed. I asked my wonderful friend Jo Princess Warrior to pray for me. Not only did she pray but she also sent me some 'medicine', being Psalm 34:4-5 from the New Living Translation (and yes, my lease has been renewed for another 6 months with only a small monetary increase!). Wonderful words of comfort and promise that instantly calmed my nerves and made the fear leave. (Please see Extravagant Grace for some wonderful verse buttons from Philippians!)

Speaking of the lovely Jo, she gave me a 'When Life Gives You Lemons...Set Up A Lemonade Stand' award today. I am blessed! So, to bless some others I would like to give this award to my lovely blog friends Lelia at Write From The Heart, Paula at His Ways ... Are Not Our Ways, and Heather at On The Road ...Walking With Jesus. These are all ladies who have taken the lemons of life and most definitely turned them into sweet tasting lemonade! And their lemonade, sweetened by the grace and ongoing comfort of God, has helped to heal me and help me in many areas of my life!


I want to also bring attention to the lovely Christy's blog, Critty Joy. She has come up with a new concept called 'Pouring Out' and I love it! The concept is that for one week a month she will give readers a few challenges and then at the end of the week we can post on them. Well, this week has presented two challenges - writing a letter and making a phone call. Sounds pretty simple, but how often do you do it? Please check out Christy's Pouring Out challenges here. I am behind the eight-ball already on them, but I WILL take up the challenge.


So, that is my 'accepting the exception' blog post, which I thought was going to be small but isn't, hehe. Another exciting thing to report is that my little cherub has her first loose tooth! I am happy yet sad as it means that my precious little girl is growing up! I love her to bits, and the love grows every day despite the developing of my patience!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessings of Your Word, the friends You have sent my way, the honour of being 'Mummy' to my precious little girl, and for helping me to work out the reason behind my faux pas tonight. I thank You for all that You do for me. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.



(PS: Please check out my post below on Saigon the circus elephant.)

Accepting Who God Sees...

Acceptance is defined as many different things but is something that we all strive for. The Blue Letter Bible includes the words “delight, satisfaction, to be pleasing, acceptable (to God)” and so on. The Strong’s Greek Lexicon lists “to take fully, i.e. welcome (persons, approve (things:--accept, receive (gladly).” One thing I do know is that whichever meaning I look at, acceptance is a major issue in the life of any human.

When I was married (which seems like many years ago now), I think I looked somewhat dowdy at times, especially after I got glasses. Looking back I can now see why my then husband strayed. I look vastly different now to what I did then, and I am certainly thankful for that! Fast forward 12 years since we separated and divorced and I can see the importance of a woman’s self-image, not just on the outside but on the inside also.

I feel it’s important for women to embrace that notion. Aside from being here as a helpmate for our husbands (yes, I know, I’m not married but go with me on this), we were also created to be sensual and desirable beings, made differently from man and for a reason. We perhaps don't feel like we are sensual and desirable being because of life experiences, changes to our bodies and the effect on us, but that is what, I feel, God wants; for us to feel accepted.

Song of Solomon is written about the love, the sensual love, between a man and woman, which to my understanding is a metaphor for the love between God and us. Ladies, we were meant to look, feel and be sensual and attractive beings, no matter what our outside shell looks like. We weren't meant to feel that our exterior dictates our interior or our worthiness and acceptance by man. We are meant to love the form we came in and to accept it and respect it by looking after it.

You may be a size 18 and struggling with your appearance, resigning yourself to it because of life's circumstances. But that is not how God wants you to feel. That is not even how God sees you! He loves you from the inside out and sees your heart first and foremost. He wants you to accept yourself in the shell you're in and love it.

Basically what I'm saying is that we were made in His image. He loves you. He wants you all to Himself firstly and most importantly. If you are struggling with an issue with your looks or if you feel you are restricting yourself in that area because of an experience you've had with man. Don't! God wants your true treasure and beauty to shine. He wants to see your beauty both inside and out.

While as Christian women we must be respectful in our appearance and not conform to the carnal desires and lusts of the world, it is no reason to withhold our beauty from ourselves and most importantly from God. For those who are married, betrothed or just dating, your partner longs to see your beauty shine, so share that with him. For those who are single, or who struggle with their appearance, or knowingly reject any notion of loving themselves, don't. Be good to yourself and do what makes you feel beautiful and loved by God. I know He wants that, for Him and for you.

Dignity is most important, even if you feel you are not. Acceptance is important also. If you feel you can't accept yourself because of your appearance, take it to God and ask Him to show you the real you He knows and wants you to be. This may mean internal and external changes. Embrace that. God loves you for who He sees internally and externally, which is much more than what you can see. Embrace being a woman and a sensual being. God created that. He created us how we are for a reason.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for making us in Your image. I pray that even though we all struggle with self-image issues and insecurities that we can take those issues to You and You can show us through Your perfect vision how You see us. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen

Still Pondering Humility...

Can you believe that it's the 1st of February already? Just incredible. What's even more incredible is that I still haven't taken my Christmas tree down...argh! It's this week's project, haha. Well, the other day I posted on being smaller given that my name means 'small', which to me means humility also. Over the next two weeks I am going to concentrate on memorising my third verse for the year to be more humble, small and quiet. (Yes, I will need your prayers!)

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:10 (NIV)

I've learnt over the last few weeks that I do need to humble myself before the Lord and wait on Him for guidance. I read yesterday on not grieving or quenching the Spirit. I seem to have been doing that a bit. I am meditating more on that area for improvement also.

Today is also the day to post my next WordList selection - acceptance - but as the 1st has fallen on a Monday, I will post on that in the next couple of days. Acceptance is most apt for this month, given that forgiveness was last month's word. As with all my words for this year, I will be looking upon them from the perspective of living like Jesus. Of adopting His attributes and living in the Spirit and waiting on God's word for guidance.

The last three weeks have been tumultuous with alot of truths being shared, changes made, sins revealed, hearts opened, relationships shifted and weaknesses - and strengths - revealed. I know God has great things planned for me this year. I know that my exit from my wilderness is approaching.

Dear Heavenly Father, as I learn all these new lessons and continue on in my training for the battle, I pray that I can humble myself - limit myself - so that You can lift me up, so that I can honour You and so that I can share Your love with others. I pray for those who do not understand the path that I am on. I pray that I fully understand that same path. I thank You for the blessing of those near and dear to me. For not only their love for me, but their acceptance of me with all my faults and flaws. Praying always in Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.

Forgiveness Leads to Acceptance...

Anger and resentment, and the inability to understand that we're all different, can lead to the inability to forgive. Not being able to step into the other person's shoes and see the situation from their perspective can really inhibit forgiveness. Even if we do not understand, we are still to forgive.

The inability to see another's life through their eyes, and not forgiving people, are two of the most brutal ways that a person can hold themselves back in life and not reach fulfilment. Humans will never agree on everything, we will all have our own opinions, and we will always misunderstand people.

Next month I start on my new word, which is "acceptance". My pastor touched on it today, and I hope I can expand on what he covered over the next month. But for now, I'll concentrate on one last post on forgiveness.

I've spent many years unable to forgive myself for the life I have led; the poor choices, the in appropriate actions, and the filth that has come from my mouth. Even over the last few years, there are a lot of things about myself and my actions that I cringe about now. But this doesn't have to be.

I have sought forgiveness from God and have received it. So thus, I do not need to carry the burden any longer. With my latest change in circumstances and the giving over of my life to God for His purpose, I feel that I finally have truly reached a place of peace within myself. God has answered my prayer, and in such a way that I feel strange as I think that I should be feeling different.

To explain it I have likened it to when you have the hiccups. You try and get rid of them but they keep coming back; but when you do successfully get rid of them, and then the 'feeling' that they will return but don't tends to surprise you. I hope that analogy makes sense. My sense of living in fear of being alone has gone and has been replaced with purpose and peace. But, every now and then I will think of something and I expect the fear to return but it doesn't, and it is taking me by surprise.

So, how does all this tie in with forgiveness? It's the realisation that God has forgiven you that leads to peace and purpose. To be open and transparent about one's weaknesses and ill-performed acts, to see forgive real about it all...that's what assists in the act of forgiveness. That's what it's all about.

I find it interesting that this month started off heading in one direction but ended in a way that I least expected. God is good, and Jesus is near; walking by my side taking the other end of yoke on His shoulders and sharing my burden, making me feel loved and very special. That is one of the reasons that I am doing better than I thought I would at this sudden change in direction in my life. The other reason is that it's the right thing to do...by me, by my daughter, and by God. It's all His doing!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your presence and forgiveness over my life. Thank You for sending Jesus to take away all these sins that I have racked up. Thank You for allowing Him to walk by my side and to take on this burden. All praise and glory to You. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen

Through Jesus' Eyes...

God is incredible in how He wants us to learn lessons. The worldly view is to get even and to make the other person suffer just as much as how you are. The godly way to deal with wrongs is to forgive and let God avenge us. Week 3 of my month with the word ‘forgiveness’ has been one full of growth.

In my life I have had, and still have, to forgive people for wrongs they do against me and move on from that, as these are people who I have to have regular dealings with. It can be difficult to maintain a godly perspective on forgiveness and I wouldn’t be human if I said that I don’t let my anger and resentment build up. But, in saying that, I have learnt how to let go and move on.

The forgiveness post I did back in July, 2008 set the scene for a whole new perspective on forgiveness for me. The trials I went through in the latter half of last year also did. I learnt to trust God and to move on. I also learnt to be more cautious in my dealings with the people who I’ve had “issues” with. I am too trusting at times, though, and do tend to let my guard down. But...no more!

I feel that it’s part of my battle plan that I incorporate strategic measures to ensure that I don’t become too trusting with some people, only to suffer their ire just because they may be having a bad day, or whatever the case may be.

Some internet research I did on forgiveness over the last week led me to a quote by Catherine Ponder, which I feel is relevant for tonight’s post –

“When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

I really like this quote! It is SO true! I could let unsavoury feelings about those who have wronged me well up and fester into resentment, which would then lead me down the wrong path - the worldly path. What I really like though is that not forgiving someone else actually means that there is an unseen, but very real, bond between you and the other person. And Ponder is right when she says that the “link is stronger than steel”. It can be life shattering.

This leads me to another discovery I made about forgiveness during the week – how it affects your health. Two links that I happened upon include Forgiveness and Health and an article by the Mayo Clinic Staff on Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness. So not only is forgiving someone a godly requirement, but it is also good for your health!

I’ve been a strong believer over the years that resentment, anger, hurts and so on can manifest itself into physical conditions. Ailments include a chest infection from not getting something off your chest; shoulder aches from taking on an extra heavy and unnecessary burden, etc.

I do like the Mayo Clinic Staff article in how it ends with “Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You may even find compassion and understanding.”

This is awe-inspiring stuff for someone who has been a victim, who has held onto a victim mentality (bearing in mind I now aspire to a victory mentality), and who does not want my life experiences to define who I am now. As for the compassion and understanding...that, for me, comes from Jesus.

Two of my favourite scriptures from 2009 are from Psalm 103 in the New Living Translation –

"3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases... 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever."

There, in two verses, is why we should forgive. God forgave us and will heal our diseases, and He will let go and move on. If God can, so should we. How dare we undermine what He says and does by not doing it ourselves?

Not only is forgiveness freeing but it’s the chance to learn, grow and move on. It gives us the opportunity to live healthy lives, and it also helps us to see others through the compassionate and understanding eyes of Jesus.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the wisdom you have bestowed upon me about forgiveness. While in my human form I am feeble and need your compassion and understanding to do this; I get that from Jesus and seeing others through His eyes. Thank you for the blessing from this valuable lesson to forgive others, let go and move on. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen.

As It Was Before...

It's Monday (12:01am actually and my first scheduled post!) and time to share my weekly 2010 Word List thoughts. Last night's post was to catch up from last week! So, to begin!

I have been writing down notes over the last week or so and my notebook is barely legable to others, but is cram packed with thoughts, verses and notes about forgiveness. As it - forgiveness - is such an important thing to do, and a big act to consider for the first month of a new year, it's certainly worth the while!

The dictionary meaning of forgiveness is –

–noun
1. act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.
2. disposition or willingness to forgive.

To forgive is –

–verb (used with object) 1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

–verb (used without object) 6. to pardon an offense or an offender.

The Strong’s Lexicon shows these meaning and explanations. In Hebrew – cliychah - forgiveness is to forgive, pardon, spare. In Greek – aphesis - it means deliverance, liberty, remission and freedom. What I find really exciting about looking into the Hebrew and Greek meanings of this word, is that the Greek word for forgiveness comes from aphemi, which is to send forth, to go. Delving further in I find that aphemi comes from apo, which means after, ago, before, separation, departure, cessation, completion, reversal, etc. These meanings just go to show that words are not just words, after all; they are a wealth of knowledge to those who delve deeply enough into them! And what knowledge did I glean from these words? In my mind, this means “as it was before”.

God wants our life to be “as it was before”.

Now, I can fully relate to this. In 2009, I endured a couple of rough patches that turned my life upside down...on the inside. On the outside, I didn’t fare too well, but the damage and the hurt affected me more spiritually, mentally and emotionally than anything else. At the time I had absolutely no idea how I was going to move forward or how I was ever going to get passed what had happened. But I did...thanks to God and some wonderful friends who prayed for me and fed me His Word to sustain me.

Their prayers and His Word was what did it; these things taught me that my peace comes from Him alone as He surpasses all level of understanding. This led me to rely on Him for my peace, in my absolute weakness. And I was weak. I didn’t understand what was going on or how I was supposed to deal with the hurt I was feeling. Would I be able to move on? Would I be able to forgive those who really had no idea that they had hurt me so badly, or at all?

Yes and yes. I have been able to move on and I have been able to forgive. And what did this forgiveness do for me? It gave me release, peace and it has allowed me to live my life “as it was before”. I have been able to sustain this new understanding of forgiveness, which has benefited me in many areas of my life. One passage of scripture that has helped me immensely, and that I have used as power verses – medicine, if you like – is Proverbs 4:20-23 (KJV) –

20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Verse 23 is such a blessing and one that I have memorised and remind myself of often to keep my mind focussed on what the real issues are.

Please consider your thoughts on forgiveness; not only of others, but also of self. It will allow you to live “as it was before”. You may not forget all the hurt that occurred, but you will be able to think on it with God’s view; that we are all deserving of forgiveness, we all do not know what we are doing at times, and that we must forgive.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the breakthrough that You and Your Word offered me during my painful times last year. Thank you that I have been able to learn from those experiences and move on; to be able to have it “as it was before”. I praise You for Your grace, and for taking on my pain and making me feel whole again. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen

Simply Forgiveness...

I’m a bit slow in getting my 2010 Word List posts up and running, but I found some inspiration to prepare this post. My plans for my posts come from my friend Kimberly who will be posting every Monday, as will I. These weekly postings will include various meanings of the word, i.e. dictionary, lexicon, etc, verses, practical application and thoughts. This post contains some thoughts.

To err is human.
To forgive is divine.
~ Alexander Pope

Revenge is natural.
Forgiveness is supernatural.
~ Paul Carlin

These quotes befit not only the simplicity of forgiveness, but also the unnecessary complexity of it. As humans we make forgiveness complex. We hold onto grudges, we remind ourselves, and others, over and over of the wrongs they have done. We revisit the experiences like we revisit a favourite spot, thinking that it may bring us some kind of comfort and peace. But the exact opposite occurs. Revisiting the experience only dredges up the ill-feeling and pain from the past, making it impossible to move on.

This is where God’s simplicity comes into play to make the situation easy to remedy.

Simply forgiveness. Divine and supernatural forgiveness.

It makes sense really. Would you grab a knife and proceed to cut yourself in the same spot over and over? Letting the wound almost heal and then prising it open again only to have to watch and wait for it to try and heal again? No, of course you wouldn’t. Not forgiving someone, including you, is the exact same thing.

Pointless wounding of the spirit, that’s all it is. I am guilty of this, and not only by not forgiving others but by not forgiving myself. It was only last year that I realised by reading Liz Curtis Higgs’ book “Embrace Grace” that I was being ignorant of God and His greatness by not forgiving myself. I learnt that I don’t need to forgive myself as Jesus died on the cross for my forgiveness, but that I do have to forgive others.

Since reading this wisdom, I have left my ignorant thinking with Jesus at the foot of the cross, and I have forgiven those who have wronged me. And it has made such a difference in my life. I have, as I was told the other day, started to see life through Jesus’ eyes. I am starting to let the compassion I have for others help me to not only forgive others, but to share God’s love with people by just being the person God wants me to be. Someone who loves unconditionally cares and shows compassion...and most of all, forgives.

For more reading on this topic, please see my posts on forgiveness and also the source of the quotes on forgiveness above.

1 January 2010 : The Beginning of the New...

The 1st of January, 2010 has been an enjoyable day. My girlie and I went to the cinema to see "The Princess and the Frog". While not a fan of any type of love story (much), I did enjoy this one for it's real characters (as real as one can get in cartoon, that is!). Then it was home for lunch and a rest, and then into the city to visit with friends who are holidaying in Brisbane for a couple of days. Jasmine is now with her dad and grandma, and I am enjoying the solitude but missing my girl already.

As it's a new day, month and year, I have felt very excited about the possibilities for change and for pursuing the vision that God has for my life. With my word for the month being forgiveness, I will be doing some study and meditation on this and posting soon. Another delight from God that I will be studying, meditating on AND memorising is verse number one out of 24 for the year, which is:

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." - Psalm 119:50 (NIV)

There were SOOO many times during the latter half of 2009 that His promise did literally preserve my life! While I don't think I would have, or could have, done anything fatal to prematurely cease my existence here on earth, there were a few occasions where I wish it was just over. Finished. Kaput! I had had enough and I just didn't, point blank did not, or should that be DID. NOT., want to be here.

I did really know otherwise though. I knew the truth. My 'sane' self kept telling my 'insane' self that I was meant to be here. Praise God for the Holy Spirit sticking so closely by me during those very low patches.

So, what is God's promise? It is His peace, love, grace, mercy, compassion, and also His vision for me. As that is my theme for 2010, I feel that I must look into every circumstance and find what His vision was and is for me. Last year it was to become stronger in myself through Him, and to draw closer to Him. This year...I don't know as yet, but I do feel that my 2010 Word List will help me see what it is.

I love Psalm 119:50 from the King James Version -

"This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me."

The Hebrew word 'chayah' (2421)...'quickened' means to save, revive...basically it means to live. Without Him, without His comfort, which is His hope as noted in verse 49, I would not be where I am today. I would still be, but I would still be struggling.

2010 is going to be an awesome year. I will not have it otherwise and I know that God will not either.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for keeping me nestled safely under your wings in 2009. Thank you for leading me out of the dark depths that tried to envelope me. Thank you for your peace, love, grace, mercy and compassion. I pray for a fruitful 2010 seeking after your vision for my life. In Jesus' wonderful name, Amen.



PS: Join me, and others, over at Extravagant Grace for the 24 Verses in 2010.

It Is Here...

2010 ... Twenty Ten ... IT has arrived!

As I sit here in bed wishing my loved ones Happy New Year via chat and text, I am listening to the delighted yells of drunk neighbours as the fireworks at the local golf club go off. I guess I'm feeling a tad melancholy about it all as 2009 was a tough year. A lot happened last year (wow, there is it...LAST year) and I'm quite glad it's over!

There were many personal setbacks and growth periods for me, as well as changes in my worklife. On par with my own upheavels to deal with on a personal level (the joys of living with self for almost 40 years!) was the change in my daughter. Going from a vivacious pre-schooler to a needy school student, it was a lot for this mummy to deal with. We got through it though, and while there is a long way to go (she is not 6 yet, so I have MANY years to go!), we are making progress.


So, to kick it off as The Year of Vision for me, I have chosen twelve words for each month in my 2010 Word List. The words are as follows:

January - Forgiveness (talk about start off with a tough one!)
February - Acceptance
March - Relationships
April - Strength
May - Simplicity
June - Reliance
July - Love
August - Selflessness
September - Blessings
October - Availability
November - Cheerfulness
December - Significance

These words were selected from Some Reflective Thoughts I made in January last year. I guess that due to all the upheavel 2009 brought into my life I never actually built on any of these thoughts, but I will do so now. God impressed so many important things on my heart last year that I feel strong and capable enough to expand on those things now. It is all part of my "Exit Wilderness Project", where I plan to celebrate my return to the promised land with my family in Tasmania for my 40th birthday in June.

I am thoroughly looking forward to 2010, and while feeling melancholy now, I know that this is just a reflective mood and one that will pass!

Happy New Year my friends!

Twenty Ten Approaches...

Wow! It's incredible to think that in just two sleeps (yes, I'm a 'sleep' kinda girl) it will be 2010! Where did 2009 go to? I have no idea, but I do know that it was joyful yet tumultuous, inspiring yet challenging!

What will 2010 bring?

Well, I plan for it to bring character development, the end of my "Exit Wilderness Project", an improved and healthier me, and lots more!

To help me do this I am going to make a 2010 Word List that I found at An Imperfect Perfection and also start the year off by joining eLisa from Extravagant Grace in Living Intentionally. I am also going to start a Reflection Journal so I can keep myself on track.



Last year I started on the Siesta Scripture Memory Verse Team at LPM Blog, but dropped out half way through. This year, however, I'm going to take it up again and make sure that I DO memorise! There will be no excuse for not memorising in 2010.

I pray that your 2009 was a fruitful one, and that 2010 brings you many blessings and happy travelling on this wonderful journey we are on with God!