God's Naked Toenails...

You’re probably thinking “what is she talking about!” I’m talking about God and His unpainted, no varnish, plain and boring toenails. Why? Because I have them! “Ick” you might say. “Ick” is what I say, as for the first time ever, and I mean EVER, I have left my toenails unpainted and gone about my business. This isn’t through choice, I might add. It’s through necessity to keep me from wanting to chop off my aching big left toe.

I wasn’t blessed with the best toenails in the world, which are a mix of both my parent’s genes, and which have caused me no end of grief for the last 25 plus years. No court shoes, no canvas sneakers...yep, it’s opened toed shoes and thongs (flip flops) for this chick.

But, in my angst of not being able to varnish plus having a sore toe, I found God had a message for me. I don’t need to primp and preen. I don’t need to varnish. I just need to accept myself for whom and how I am. We are, after all, made in the image of God, so we must take this as a comfort and accept ourselves, including our foibles.

One thing I have struggled with over the years, and still do, is my body image. Looking at me, however, you might think that I have no reason too. Everyone, including the world’s most famous supermodels, has something about themselves that they don’t like. Mine is my bumpy nose (broken at roughly aged 8 and never fixed), my ‘sticky out’ ears (which have meant me NEVER wearing my hair up in public), my stocky legs (which really haven’t been an issue until the cellulite started to settle there) and, of course, my crazy toes!

God gave us some wonderful advice in 1 Samuel 16:7 when He “...said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” This verse got me thinking about how we accept ourselves, and others, and whether or not it’s the external or the internal that hooks us.

After seeing some ‘beauties’ on various web pages while surfing on the internet recently I started feeling rather insecure about myself. I’m only 5 foot 3 inches tall (161 centimetres), have short stocky legs, and all the other things I listed above. I don’t ‘do’ bikinis, I don’t get a tan, I cover up as I feel more comfortable that way, and, basically, I just don’t like sharing my body with all and sundry as some of these women do. I’m not here to judge them. Some of these women are very beautiful but I do wonder why they use their external self to try and fulfil an internal need.

I wrote the following after mulling over what I had seen and felt, what they were participating in (bikini clad chicks drinking copious amounts of alcohol by the pool and flirting with every male in sight, and generally there just for the attention) -

Beautiful smiles from beautiful people come from hearts filled with His love, not from what you look like on the outside. 'Developed / worked at' beauty fades and will disappear with time but hearts filled with His love don't. Don't EVER let what you see on magazine covers, TV, movies, etc, or just by looking at the person who 'works' to maintain their tan, shape, etc, determine who you think you should be. God knows who you are on the inside, and He's looking at your heart. That will determine how you spend eternity, not if you have perky (and most likely fake) D cups and a tan. DON'T BE FOOLED!

God does not want me to feel intimidated by these women and the expectation that I must conform to be like them to get attention. God wants me to love these women and to pray that someone comes into their lives that can show them the real love that they need to feel fulfilled. I am thankful that, despite my ongoing feelings of inadequacy when I see bronzed, blonde and buxom ‘beauties’, it’s more important that I have God’s love than the love of some testosterone fuelled male who looks at the carnal and not the spiritual.

Speaking of men...I attended a women’s conference at church last year and learnt about how men and women are wired differently and have a completely different chemical make-up from each other when it comes to visual attraction. The speaker talked about his attraction to a woman when he was young and how it floored him. He was happily married yet the mere sight of this woman caused his whole being to go crazy. He explained that this is how men are wired, and unless men learn about this and how to keep it under control, it can cause havoc in a man’s life.

This information was invaluable for me. I’ve always struggled in this area; of understanding why I wasn’t good enough. Learning about this helped me understand that the rejection I’ve suffered by men in my life wasn’t necessarily just about me, but also about how they are wired.

So ladies, I guess the purpose of this Word List post on acceptance is for you to realise that you, and I, are accepted for who we are on the inside and not on our outside selves. We’re accepted by our Lord and Saviour...as we are...stocky legs, crazy toes and all. In my last acceptance post I spoke on how we need to accept the shell we’re in as God loves our shell, and us!

I am learning to accept my unpainted toenails, even though I do have a little cringe when looking at them. But the cringe is worth more than sore aching toes. It’s about learning to accept me for who I am without the added extra of nail varnish. I’m not sure that I will ever be able to go without at least mascara and lip gloss, and a little powder to hide the shine, but I’m working on it!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for helping me to accept myself for who I am. Not as the world sees women, but how You see women; made to be a delight and an enhancement, not just a visual attraction. Thank You for loving me just as I am and for helping me to learn to love me for who I am also. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen.

Accepting the Exception...

The exception to the rule, that is. I am zapped and it's only Tuesday! Why does it feel like Friday? Is it because first thing Monday morning when I rocked into work I was asked questions within what seemed like a split second of putting my bag on my desk? It is because for the last few days I've had to deal with a maturing 5 (nearly 6) year old who tests my patience no end? Is it because the weather has been so crazy with heat then rain that my poor fibromyalgia-effected body doesn't know whether it's coming or going?

It is all of the above and more, with the more being tonight me making a faux pas of not monumental measure, but enough to make me feel a tad foolish. And no, don't anyone ask me to repeat the tale, as for me it's a very valuable lesson.

Matthew 11:28 tells us that when we are weary and heavy-laden, we are to come to the Lord. So, that is exactly where I'm going once I finish this post. To the One who will take me under His wings and protect me from the terror of the night (yes, I am afraid of the dark) and shield me from the fiery arrows of the enemy during the day.

I'm going to use this post as my Word List post for the week, and also fit in my 24 in 2010 scripture verse and a blog prize and more, so here goes...

My scripture memory verse for the 15th of this month is Psalm 34:4 -

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

I was feeling fearful yesterday after calling my real estate agent to see whether or not my lease had been renewed. I asked my wonderful friend Jo Princess Warrior to pray for me. Not only did she pray but she also sent me some 'medicine', being Psalm 34:4-5 from the New Living Translation (and yes, my lease has been renewed for another 6 months with only a small monetary increase!). Wonderful words of comfort and promise that instantly calmed my nerves and made the fear leave. (Please see Extravagant Grace for some wonderful verse buttons from Philippians!)

Speaking of the lovely Jo, she gave me a 'When Life Gives You Lemons...Set Up A Lemonade Stand' award today. I am blessed! So, to bless some others I would like to give this award to my lovely blog friends Lelia at Write From The Heart, Paula at His Ways ... Are Not Our Ways, and Heather at On The Road ...Walking With Jesus. These are all ladies who have taken the lemons of life and most definitely turned them into sweet tasting lemonade! And their lemonade, sweetened by the grace and ongoing comfort of God, has helped to heal me and help me in many areas of my life!


I want to also bring attention to the lovely Christy's blog, Critty Joy. She has come up with a new concept called 'Pouring Out' and I love it! The concept is that for one week a month she will give readers a few challenges and then at the end of the week we can post on them. Well, this week has presented two challenges - writing a letter and making a phone call. Sounds pretty simple, but how often do you do it? Please check out Christy's Pouring Out challenges here. I am behind the eight-ball already on them, but I WILL take up the challenge.


So, that is my 'accepting the exception' blog post, which I thought was going to be small but isn't, hehe. Another exciting thing to report is that my little cherub has her first loose tooth! I am happy yet sad as it means that my precious little girl is growing up! I love her to bits, and the love grows every day despite the developing of my patience!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessings of Your Word, the friends You have sent my way, the honour of being 'Mummy' to my precious little girl, and for helping me to work out the reason behind my faux pas tonight. I thank You for all that You do for me. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.



(PS: Please check out my post below on Saigon the circus elephant.)

Accepting Who God Sees...

Acceptance is defined as many different things but is something that we all strive for. The Blue Letter Bible includes the words “delight, satisfaction, to be pleasing, acceptable (to God)” and so on. The Strong’s Greek Lexicon lists “to take fully, i.e. welcome (persons, approve (things:--accept, receive (gladly).” One thing I do know is that whichever meaning I look at, acceptance is a major issue in the life of any human.

When I was married (which seems like many years ago now), I think I looked somewhat dowdy at times, especially after I got glasses. Looking back I can now see why my then husband strayed. I look vastly different now to what I did then, and I am certainly thankful for that! Fast forward 12 years since we separated and divorced and I can see the importance of a woman’s self-image, not just on the outside but on the inside also.

I feel it’s important for women to embrace that notion. Aside from being here as a helpmate for our husbands (yes, I know, I’m not married but go with me on this), we were also created to be sensual and desirable beings, made differently from man and for a reason. We perhaps don't feel like we are sensual and desirable being because of life experiences, changes to our bodies and the effect on us, but that is what, I feel, God wants; for us to feel accepted.

Song of Solomon is written about the love, the sensual love, between a man and woman, which to my understanding is a metaphor for the love between God and us. Ladies, we were meant to look, feel and be sensual and attractive beings, no matter what our outside shell looks like. We weren't meant to feel that our exterior dictates our interior or our worthiness and acceptance by man. We are meant to love the form we came in and to accept it and respect it by looking after it.

You may be a size 18 and struggling with your appearance, resigning yourself to it because of life's circumstances. But that is not how God wants you to feel. That is not even how God sees you! He loves you from the inside out and sees your heart first and foremost. He wants you to accept yourself in the shell you're in and love it.

Basically what I'm saying is that we were made in His image. He loves you. He wants you all to Himself firstly and most importantly. If you are struggling with an issue with your looks or if you feel you are restricting yourself in that area because of an experience you've had with man. Don't! God wants your true treasure and beauty to shine. He wants to see your beauty both inside and out.

While as Christian women we must be respectful in our appearance and not conform to the carnal desires and lusts of the world, it is no reason to withhold our beauty from ourselves and most importantly from God. For those who are married, betrothed or just dating, your partner longs to see your beauty shine, so share that with him. For those who are single, or who struggle with their appearance, or knowingly reject any notion of loving themselves, don't. Be good to yourself and do what makes you feel beautiful and loved by God. I know He wants that, for Him and for you.

Dignity is most important, even if you feel you are not. Acceptance is important also. If you feel you can't accept yourself because of your appearance, take it to God and ask Him to show you the real you He knows and wants you to be. This may mean internal and external changes. Embrace that. God loves you for who He sees internally and externally, which is much more than what you can see. Embrace being a woman and a sensual being. God created that. He created us how we are for a reason.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for making us in Your image. I pray that even though we all struggle with self-image issues and insecurities that we can take those issues to You and You can show us through Your perfect vision how You see us. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen

Still Pondering Humility...

Can you believe that it's the 1st of February already? Just incredible. What's even more incredible is that I still haven't taken my Christmas tree down...argh! It's this week's project, haha. Well, the other day I posted on being smaller given that my name means 'small', which to me means humility also. Over the next two weeks I am going to concentrate on memorising my third verse for the year to be more humble, small and quiet. (Yes, I will need your prayers!)

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:10 (NIV)

I've learnt over the last few weeks that I do need to humble myself before the Lord and wait on Him for guidance. I read yesterday on not grieving or quenching the Spirit. I seem to have been doing that a bit. I am meditating more on that area for improvement also.

Today is also the day to post my next WordList selection - acceptance - but as the 1st has fallen on a Monday, I will post on that in the next couple of days. Acceptance is most apt for this month, given that forgiveness was last month's word. As with all my words for this year, I will be looking upon them from the perspective of living like Jesus. Of adopting His attributes and living in the Spirit and waiting on God's word for guidance.

The last three weeks have been tumultuous with alot of truths being shared, changes made, sins revealed, hearts opened, relationships shifted and weaknesses - and strengths - revealed. I know God has great things planned for me this year. I know that my exit from my wilderness is approaching.

Dear Heavenly Father, as I learn all these new lessons and continue on in my training for the battle, I pray that I can humble myself - limit myself - so that You can lift me up, so that I can honour You and so that I can share Your love with others. I pray for those who do not understand the path that I am on. I pray that I fully understand that same path. I thank You for the blessing of those near and dear to me. For not only their love for me, but their acceptance of me with all my faults and flaws. Praying always in Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen.

Forgiveness Leads to Acceptance...

Anger and resentment, and the inability to understand that we're all different, can lead to the inability to forgive. Not being able to step into the other person's shoes and see the situation from their perspective can really inhibit forgiveness. Even if we do not understand, we are still to forgive.

The inability to see another's life through their eyes, and not forgiving people, are two of the most brutal ways that a person can hold themselves back in life and not reach fulfilment. Humans will never agree on everything, we will all have our own opinions, and we will always misunderstand people.

Next month I start on my new word, which is "acceptance". My pastor touched on it today, and I hope I can expand on what he covered over the next month. But for now, I'll concentrate on one last post on forgiveness.

I've spent many years unable to forgive myself for the life I have led; the poor choices, the in appropriate actions, and the filth that has come from my mouth. Even over the last few years, there are a lot of things about myself and my actions that I cringe about now. But this doesn't have to be.

I have sought forgiveness from God and have received it. So thus, I do not need to carry the burden any longer. With my latest change in circumstances and the giving over of my life to God for His purpose, I feel that I finally have truly reached a place of peace within myself. God has answered my prayer, and in such a way that I feel strange as I think that I should be feeling different.

To explain it I have likened it to when you have the hiccups. You try and get rid of them but they keep coming back; but when you do successfully get rid of them, and then the 'feeling' that they will return but don't tends to surprise you. I hope that analogy makes sense. My sense of living in fear of being alone has gone and has been replaced with purpose and peace. But, every now and then I will think of something and I expect the fear to return but it doesn't, and it is taking me by surprise.

So, how does all this tie in with forgiveness? It's the realisation that God has forgiven you that leads to peace and purpose. To be open and transparent about one's weaknesses and ill-performed acts, to see forgive real about it all...that's what assists in the act of forgiveness. That's what it's all about.

I find it interesting that this month started off heading in one direction but ended in a way that I least expected. God is good, and Jesus is near; walking by my side taking the other end of yoke on His shoulders and sharing my burden, making me feel loved and very special. That is one of the reasons that I am doing better than I thought I would at this sudden change in direction in my life. The other reason is that it's the right thing to do...by me, by my daughter, and by God. It's all His doing!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your presence and forgiveness over my life. Thank You for sending Jesus to take away all these sins that I have racked up. Thank You for allowing Him to walk by my side and to take on this burden. All praise and glory to You. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen