Monday, 26 November 2012


The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. Relationships have ended. Dynamics of relationships have changed. I've changed. I've held onto the people who accept me - crazy and all - for who I am. I've let go of others. I've become very thankful for the ones from afar who, while not here to see the real deal that is my life, choose to stay part of my life despite the ups and downs.

I've learnt a lot about myself, and I've learnt a lot about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

I've learnt of the goodness of the Trinity. The ever present voice that guides me when I don't know where to turn. The comforting embrace of a Father who loves me with no end. My bridegroom Jesus who fills the void inside my heart that is left lacking. The man who died on the cross for me.

I've learnt to refuse to keep going over and over the same thing only to get the same result. I've learnt to let go. I've embraced what may never be (God only knows if it will, anyway!). I've accepted that I need to love God and myself more to truly be whole.

A lot of lessons learnt. A lot of tears cried. A lot of regrets. A lot of new aspects to accept. A lot to be grateful for.

Most importantly I've learnt that while humans let me down, God never will. I may stumble, fall and struggle to get back up, but He is there holding His hand out willing me to move forward and to become the woman He knows me to be.

Learning. It's good for the soul. And so is change.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

1 comment:

  1. Paula, you have been through so much and are doing so well. You have no idea how proud of you I am. I take my hat off to you.

    May the Lord bless you,