Dhá Chéad...and a GIVEAWAY!

Never mind the movie '300'...how is THIS for a supremo numero!

TWO HUNDRED !

Yes, CC in Roman numerals and "dhá chéad" in Irish on this St. Patrick's Day. To be sure, to be sure... Not only it is St. Patrick's Day and my 200th post, but it is also GIVEAWAY TIME here on my Sharing Spot! And, I am going to give one lovely commenter a copy of "Self Talk Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild.


Don't you just love that there is green on the cover...just like St. Patrick's Day? Whoops, I digress...

All you need to do to win this amazing book is leave me a comment (oh, and follow me if you already don't...I like friends) and tell me which Bible verse has touched your heart this week, and a brief reason as to why. I think it would be interesting to know what from the Word is having an effect on people and why.

I chose this book as I did an online study on it last year. You can check out my posts here. I didn't post on every chapter as life started to get a bit crazy about that time, but as you will read from my posts, I did learn A LOT from the book. And don't forget that I will post this prize to ANYWHERE in the world, so it's not just for commenters here in Australia.

So ladies...comment away and I will wait until about this time next week to draw the winner. The "pull a name out of a hat" duties will be performed by my little sweetie, and we may just use my new Fedora to do so!

I look forward to your comments..."ú sona. Patrick's lá!"

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter Seven - Calm Down: I Have Stilled and Quieted My Soul...

This chapter of Self Talk Soul Talk by Jennifer Rothschild (our Yes to God Tuesday study hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart) is just amazing and although I haven’t been able to write much over the last few weeks, I feel compelled to write on this chapter. The first sentence that stood out to me was this – “Rage simmered just below the surface of my placid demeanor.” Now I don’t profess to have a placid demeanor, but rage certainly does simmer just below the surface. When does that rage come out? At night when both Jasmine and I are tired and she just does not do as I tell her to. It comes out when we are running late in the morning and all I want to do is for her to keep her head still as I do her hair. These are the times when my simmering rage comes out. I’m sorry to say that I am an anger monster, and have been quite a bit of late, but I don’t want to be, hence why Chapter 7 has been so good for me.

Jennifer says in four words something else that hit home when she recounts kicking a hole in the wall – “…I had no excuse.” And she is right; she had no excuse and I have no excuse now to act the way that I do. There are reasons why I feel as I do, but as this chapter goes on to explain, it’s how I react to those reasons then determines the end outcome. And in this area I get a big F for fail.

I always appreciate a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson and this one does not disappoint – “Coolness and absence of heat and hast indicate fine qualities.” I don’t display many fine qualities at times and I really dislike myself for that. Jennifer writes how “Our reactions reveal the temperature inside our thought closet. We can use soul talk to keep the thermostat at a cool and steady temperature. We must learn to still and quiet our souls, to tell our souls to calm down.” Going on this, the temperature of my thought closet would closely resemble what Hades must be like because it gets blazing hot in there. And yes, Jennifer is right in that I must use my soul talk to get my soul to quieten down, and I mean NOW!

And this is why Chapter 7 is so wonderful and amazing. It tells me how I can do that, and I sure do need as much help as I can get! John 14:27 tells us where we can find the peace to help us quieten our soul. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.” Yes, our Lord Jesus telling us simply where we can find the peace we need; in Him and not the world. This is in keeping with my theme for my week, where I have been reminding myself that true peace and happiness only comes from God and will never come from any person or any thing on earth. What great timing. Jennifer then writes that “we need to acknowledge why we have angry, smoldering embers in our thought closets to begin with. We must identify the source of our anger.” Ouch, that in itself hurts!

The next section in the chapter is titled 'Loosen the Grip'. The title explains it all. Yes, we need to loosen the control that we falsely believe that we have over our lives. Outside of, as Jennifer writes “...our attitudes…our responses to circumstances…our choice to seek God…our determination to be still before Him…our choice to acknowledge that He is God – and we are not!” we have no control whatsoever. It’s crazy to think that as Christians we may even think that we have control. We should know better, but we…I…don’t.

Jennifer writes that “So much of the anger in our lives comes from the unmet expectations and frustration that we don’t have ultimate control.” I agree totally! I couldn’t control that my ex-husband decided that other women and substances were more attractive than me. I couldn’t control that my daughter’s father, my now ex-partner, found his addiction more enticing than providing a good home for me and his child. I have no control over the fact that the man I love is separated from me by a vast expanse of water and I don’t know when I’ll see him next. And I now have no control over the fact that outside of providing love, support and prayers, I cannot make my daughter like going to school and after school care any more than I can understand quantum physics (see my postscript below for further on this topic). It frustrates me and also makes me feel helpless, but that is kind of how I’m supposed to feel so I can rely on God.

I thought that because Jasmine was used to being at pre-school all day that she would adapt well to school. I was all too “ready to embrace the mirage” as Jennifer refers to having control over our life events. I miscalculated and was not prepared enough. It’s “a pleasant daydream at best and a cruel fantasy at worst.” Jennifer “has ushered ultimate peace into (her) thought closet" by thinking the following –

“…we recognize that God has ultimate control over our lives and over the world, so we choose to trust Him even when we don’t like or understand His ways. We loosen our tight grip and begin to hold the precious things in our lives with an open hand. We trust His plan, His ways, and His goodness more than we trust our own.”

Jennifer then talks about raising fists to heaven in anger towards God. I have to say that I have never been angry at God for anything that has happened in my life. Having grown up knowing the difference between right and wrong, but still going off the narrow path, it’s not His fault that I am where I am right now. It’s because of Him that I am where I am right now, and as I learnt through Laura from The Wellblog today, if it had not have been for the mistakes I have made I would not have my little girl. My life is not under my control, only certain aspects are. My life is exactly where God knew it would be, and it is under His control.

Jennifer writes that “Peace comes when we loosen our grip and let down our guard before our heavenly Father.” I need to do that so badly that it’s frightening. I knelt down beside my bed the other night and cried big droplet sized tears as I told God why I felt as miserable as I did. Amazingly, I felt better afterwards. I allowed myself to be still for a moment as He instructs us to do in Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God.” I need to know that He IS in control, He IS Lord and Master over all, and that He IS leading me where I am meant to be. I just need to loosen that grip.

The last three sections of this chapter are titled 'Washouts on the Path to Peace', 'Fire in the Closet' and 'Trading Your Anger for Peace'. ‘Washouts’ talks about negative mindsets, anger over adversity and stubborn defiance. Washouts are the things “that will block our journey as we pursue the peace that Jesus grants us.” Regarding negative mindsets, I love how Jennifer writes that “the real source of anger isn’t a tough circumstance or a difficult person; it’s the way we choose to think about that person or circumstance.” I know that to be true only too well every two weeks when Jasmine goes to her father’s house. At the moment I am driving her there and back (approx 2 ½ hours of travel each second weekend) and I start getting anxious about an hour before the weekend even begins.

It is the next section – 'Anger Over Adversity' – that has the most pencil markings in my copy of Jennifer’s book. Jennifer writes that “what I have learned about this matter of adversities and hardships. Accept them. Don’t let them fill you with anger.” I was taught that lesson about 12-18 months ago regarding the situation with my daughter’s father. I react better than I ever used to, but I have let my guard slip lately. Marcus Aurelius says, “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” Wise words indeed! My reaction to my daughter’s father and his actions are much more detrimental to Jasmine and I than the man himself (also see postscript about this). Jennifer writes that “You can’t often change adverse circumstances, but you can change your reaction to it.”

The last two sections of the book cover using water to quench the flames of the thought closet instead of gasoline. Proverbs 15:1 says that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I need to be more mindful of how I speak to myself. My “soul needs the water of the Word” for my thought closet. I need to “appreciate” myself and “find truth and speak it to” my soul. “The words you speak to yourself – the thoughts you dwell on, receive, and personalize – can either cause anger to ignite or allow peace to prevail.”

Jennifer writes about Thomas Merton observing that “man is not at peace with his fellow man because he is not at peace with himself, and he is not at peace with himself because he is not at peace with God.” I long to find that peace.

“Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.” – Romans 5:1-2

“When you have peace with God, you can have peace from God – the peace that Christ brings.”

“So when things heat up, tell your soul to calm down.”

A postscript to this post (even before I publish it) is that I received a revelation through admonishment this evening that my actions, my reactions, and my apparent but not obvious until now ignorance towards the affect that these things have on my daughter is the reason that she is like she is at present. I knew that my angry outbursts and lack of self-control in this area was the cause of hers, but it wasn’t until these words were given to me tonight – “so you are obviously crying a lot and so is she” – that it really dawned on me. Every single little thing that I do is affecting my child and I have been oblivious to it. I have just spent the last 30 minutes lying on the floor listening to Third Day and crying and praying to Jesus and my heavenly Father for forgiveness and guidance. Admonishment, even if in just eleven short words, is difficult to deal with, but it has been the best thing for me after this week. Thank you goes to my faithful admonisher and covering, who I know says what he says with love.

Still Here...

Yes my friends, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm still alive and kicking, but just not on here as much as have been previously. Life with an emotional nearly 5 year old who has just started 'big school' has taken a bit of a toll over the last week or so and I've had to shift my priorities. My Yes to God Tuesday study is still going strong and I've been learning some valuable lessons from Jennifer Rothschild's book, Self Talk Soul Talk. I've also selected my next Siesta Scripture Memory Verse, which was taken from Jennifer's book actually, and is...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the word gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27 (NIV

This verse is very applicable at the moment with Jasmine's new found 'emo' self. Bless her little soul. She just wants her mummy, and I can fully relate to that being that I live away from mine. Even at nearly 39 years of age, I still cry for my mum when I'm sick. I pray for peace for Jasmine's soul, and peace for mine, and for her little heart not to be troubled, or for her to be afraid when she's not with me. I recall being the same at her age, as I would cry for both my parents, so for Jasmine it would be doubly hard as she does not live with her father, and as I've discovered this last couple of weeks, I am it; I am her sole (soul) reliance. Please say a prayer for my little girl, and for me to be able to guide her and protect her as much as I can.

Keep smiling my friends, and I hope to be back with some posts sooner rather than later.

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter Four - Speaking Truth to Your Issues...

I'm a week behind, but I WILL catch up on this amazing study of Jennifer Rothschild's book "Self Talk, Soul Talk", which is hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart.

Jennifer opens this chapter by talking about the bleeding woman from Matthew 9:20-22 (also see Mark 5:25-34). She talks how “this woman had a single, insurmountable issue, and she had endured it for 12 long years.” Doesn’t that sound familiar? Yes, it does. We have issues that we endure, that “complicate everything”, that “challenge us, drain us, isolate us, and perplex us.” We really don’t do ourselves any good when we have issues, especially when we don’t talk to ourselves the way in which we should. I know that for me, I speak to myself so badly that it amazes me.

This woman, however, knew how to talk the right talk to herself and her soul. She put her talk into actions - she talked and walked by faith - and “she reached out her hand and touched Jesus.” And what did He do? He healed her. She knew that if she could only touch Him then He would heal her, and she was right. Why did she know this? Because “she talked to herself”.

But, she didn’t just talk some namby pamby talk to cover up the fact that she’d tried for 12 years via various means to rid herself of her bleeding. “She spoke words of wisdom and truth to her soul.” She no longer was relying on self help, on doctors to cure her, on magic cures. No, she gave up on all those things, and told herself, in wisdom and in truth, to go to the One who she knew could heal her. She didn’t just talk herself into it, she knew. “Her faith invited healing.” Jennifer expands on this and tells how “Jesus never said her soul talk made her well. He said it was her faith...Her soul talk contributed to her faith, but it didn’t replace her faith.”

I love how Jennifer writes that “it’s essential that we center our soul talk on the truth of Scripture and on our faith in Christ.” I guess the key here is that we need to stop thinking that what WE think and tell ourselves will make everything better. No, it won’t. Only faith and trust in God will do that. We must base our self talk and our soul talk on the truth of that fact.

One way of doing this is what Jennifer tells about what she did one day. She “wrenched her gaze from my own crowd of problems and focused for a moment completely on God.” I’ve done that. I’ve been in the midst of a mental, emotional and physical breakdown and literally grabbed for God, leaned on Him, pleaded with Him and sought after Him to release me from my own crazy self talk. Release from my problems only comes from seeking Him through prayer and reading the Scriptures. His truth is in there, His guidance is in there, but we need to learn to stop trying to talk ourselves into feeling good based on what we know. We know nothing compared to Him.

Jennifer leads us into the topic of self-control. I know that my self-control is weak at times. I do, think and say things that are completely nuts and completely against what I know as truth. My 'insane' mind crowds out my 'sane' mind, which I know is the truth. I need, like Jennifer has, “to rely instead on the Spirit’s control in my life – God’s Spirit.”

Jennifer runs through the four roles that the Spirit has in our lives: Counsellor, Christ’s Representative, Teacher and Reminder. A study question at the end of the chapter asks the reader to identify which out of the four roles are needed most in our lives. I answered that I need all of them. As Counsellor so I accept the truth – His truth – in my life instead of worrying about what people think of me. As Christ’s Representative to quieten myself and to hear what the Spirit is saying to me, and asking Him for help when times get tough. As Teacher so I can learn more from God, become less reliant on self while learning how to understand myself better; to know the Paula that God knows. And as a Reminder that God created me “just the way I am”, that I am special, I am His, and I have a purpose.

I could write more and more about this amazing chapter, but time doesn’t allow for it. What I do need to do though is to make sure that I think “praiseworthy” thoughts so that I (and I absolutely love how Jennifer hits home in only a few words with things) “end up at the destination of truth.”

“...destination of truth...”

We all know where that is; right where God’s Spirit is. Jennifer says that “if we follow God’s Spirit, we trade our negative and unprofitable thoughts for thoughts that are positive and fruitful. He is the One who leads us to know what is worthy of our thought closet and what should be thrown in the Dumpster.”

The bleeding woman knew where to find the "destination of truth". Jennifer's closing sentence in the chapter reads -

"She told herself the truth, and that led her straight to Jesus. May you be that woman."

Yes, may I be that woman, and may you be that woman also.

...He turned and looked at her, saying "take heart daughter...your faith has healed you", and from that moment she was healed..." (Paraphrased from Matthew 9:22 NIV)

Speak truth about your issues to yourself with wisdom that our Lord God blesses you with. Remember who you are in Him. We are not 'fashionistas' from the Dumpster; we wear Heavenly Realm fashion, and we must not forget that.

(My post on "Chapter 5 - Tune In: Awake, My Soul" is on its way soon. Now that the introduction to school week is over, life is settling down somewhat at home. Jennifer has some amazing stuff to share in this book, and the book is well worth the read!)

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter Three - Choosing Wise Words...

Welcome to week 3 of the Yes to God Tuesday study (hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart) of Jennifer Rothschild's book "Self Talk, Soul Talk". I am blessed to be a part of this study and am learning so much even with only being 3 weeks in.

Jennifer explores faulty assumptions in this chapter, and I can relate ever so much with the detrimental effect that faulty assumptions can have on one's life. I heard a saying once, that if you assume, you then just make an ass of you and me. The main dictionary meanings of the word "ass" is "a long-eared, slow, patient, sure-footed domesticated mammal, Equus asinus, related to the horse, used chiefly as a beast of burden", with the next coming up as "a stupid, foolish, or stubborn person." So, basically the latter is what we are if we make assumptions. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I don't like to think of myself as a stupid, foolish or stubborn person, so this is where this chapter comes in handy in teaching me how to change all that.

I, like Jennifer, have "operated under faulty assumptions based on wrong thinking" throughout my life and "in other, far more consequential areas." I am, after all, only human. But isn't it wonderful to think that in my meek human form I am able to connect with the source of all wisdom and change my way of thinking!

Jennifer cites examples of interactions between herself and her husband, and how her reactions to things that he does are somewhat misguided based on her faulty assumptions. She, like most of us, assumed the wrong thing. She thought "that it was all about me". Haven't we all done that? I know I have! In answer to her question, "Does that sound like a faulty assumption to you?" Yes, it does sound like a faulty assumption to me. But Jennifer is not alone in this; we have all fallen fowl in the faulty assumption fiasco, especially in our relationship with our significant other! "We often aren't even aware of such ideas until we exercise a little self-examination. Our thoughts and our actions flow from our assumptions." Amen to that!

We are schooled in the next section titled, "Root and Fruit". Jennifer explains it ever so simply in that "our assumptions are the root, and our thoughts are the fruit." I assume that I am not a good mother and I am making mistakes in raising my daughter. This then causes me to think that I just can't do the whole mothering thing anymore, that I am doing it wrong; that Jasmine will grow up thinking and acting wrong. The truth of the matter is that I AM a good mother and that I AM making mistakes, but in all fairness to myself I must be realistic and remember that she is 4 years of age, going on 5, and that I, like every mother around the world, will make mistakes as I am NOT perfect.

Jennifer repeats the following sentence a couple of times, which is: "The faulty assumption is the root; the wrong thinking is the fruit." Wrong thinking then leads to self talk, which then leads to how I act every single day. Faulty assumptions = wrong thinking = damaging self talk = wrong acts. "Feelings and thoughts are fruits. Assumptions are roots." We need to tackle the roots, provide some positive and helpful fertiliser to produce better fruit and get our thoughts in line with what the truth actually is...that we are not what we think and say we are! We need to call it what it is, so we can "see it for what it is." We all need to check the root every time we taste bad fruit. Jennifer writes that we need to “learn to choose your own fruit more wisely...You are too valuable and life is too important to risk living according to faulty assumptions.” This is SO very true! And how do we do that? Hold on, here comes the simple, yet amazing, WOW! Factor...

“To paraphrase King Solomon, may each of us trust in the Lord with ALL our hearts and lean NOT on our own understanding.” We need to seek out His wisdom, and not rely on our thoughts.

Jennifer calls them the “Ways to Wisdom” with the first step to ask Him for wisdom. Go to the Source and ask Him, pure and simple. He knows what we need already, but He also wants to know that we recognise and acknowledge those needs. James 1:5 tells us to ask God, who will give generously, with no fault, and we will receive. “This isn’t meant to be weirdly spiritual or complicated. It really is as simple as asking for wisdom and trusting that you will receive.”

The next way to wisdom is to revere God; “to show deference and respect.” Much like a child should show a parent, or as Jennifer writes, “as if we were approaching a king who invited us into his royal chamber.” We need to “esteem His truth more highly than we esteem our perceptions of truth.” He knows ALL things. We make crazy assumptions but He knows the truth. We need to appreciate that and ask Him for wisdom to discern and understand. Jennifer writes that we will never find true wisdom until we revere God the most in our life. We need to (and I have to say I love this!) “...acknowledge that He is the standard of truth.” Jennifer suggests that we “take a moment to reconcile those thoughts with your own.” Do it...think it through...

He is...”the standard of truth.”

The next step is to receive counsel. “When we walk with wisdom, it will wear off on us.” Iron sharpens iron, as the good book says. This is so true. My wise counsel in life is my sweetie. He is a very wise and knowledgeable man, and a man of God. He is my covering. His wisdom and discernment have worn off on me and I now make better judgement calls in my life than I have ever done before. We all need wise counsel. Jennifer tells us about a chat she had with Patsy Clairmont while waiting to speak at a Women of Faith Conference. What followed was great advice. Patsy admitted how she does talk to herself (like a cheerleader!) and that it wasn’t always good. Jennifer then asked Patsy when it was that she figured out she was “being overly critical and telling yourself untruths?” Patsy replied that is was when she realised that what others were saying about her was in conflict with what she was saying to herself and that one of them had to be wrong. That, my friends, is a good point to remember. We need to be kinder to ourselves basically. Would we say to others what we say to ourselves? Patsy then shared how she follows a “three-step approach: Refuse things that are inaccurate, unkind, or unedifying; replace them with what is good, pure and just; and then repeat that process for as long as it takes to bring my thoughts under control.” Patsy benefited from the wise counsel of others, and so can we. Listen, learn and recognise, and, as Jennifer tells us, remember “that others struggle the same way we do.”

We need to seek out and latch onto wisdom. Read through Proverbs, which I do one chapter a day, month after month from different bible versions, tap into the guidance that the gospels provide, ask God, purely and simply, for wisdom, revere Him as our Almighty and the One that knows ALL, and seek wise counsel from others. Most importantly we need to choose wise words. Don’t speak to ourselves like we would not speak to others. Jennifer closes the chapter by giving us some good, sound advice –

“Be patient with yourself. Roots are strong, but with wisdom, you are stronger. Applying the strength of truth to your faulty assumptions will help choke the life out of your bitter and sour fruit. And that, my friend, is a very good thing.”

Some New and Loving Thoughts...

...from me to me...

i am a good mother and i am raising my daughter well
i have overcome obstacles successfully to be where i am now in life
i am a capable person and can achieve tasks i set before myself
i provide well for my daughter and myself and am not reckless
i am respected within my workplace
i have a wonderful circle of friends who look out for me
i have a loving family who care for me
i am the daughter of a powerful and mighty God

...from jasmine to me...

i love you
i play with you
we watch tv
i like loving and playing with my mummy
you help me to be good
i help you to not be angry
i like cuddling you
i be kind to you

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter Two - Renewing Your Thought Closet...

“Let the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in thy sight,
O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
- Psalm 19:14 (KJV)

It's week 2 of the Yes to God Tuesday study (hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart) of Jennifer Rothschild's book "Self Talk, Soul Talk". Jennifer starts this week’s chapter by talking about the power of words, as learnt by her from her grandmother. The message that her grandmother wanted to relay, from telling Jennifer to “don’t ever watch so-poppers (soap operas)”, was that words are powerful. And how we say these words, so full of power but without even knowing it, to ourselves, under our breath, away from scrutiny and away from wise correction.

What we think effects what we say, which then effects what we do. If I tell myself that I am just plain hopeless (which does happen) then my talk – both external and internal – becomes negative, which then leads me feeling unhappy and depressed, which then leads to me having to extract myself from life so I can work hard at crawling back out the hole I usually find myself in. WORDS ARE POWERFUL! They can make or break us.

Jennifer writes that “some of the most powerful words we utter are words no one else ever hears. They are the words we speak to ourselves.” Imagine how God feels when He hears us speak to ourselves like we do! What must He be thinking? I dare say that He is feeling downright sad at the fact that we feel like we do about ourselves.

So this leads me onto Jennifer’s question – “Why do we speak them?” Why indeed? Well, Jennifer gives us the answer. “We say them because they have found shelf space in our thought closet, and we find them near at hand in those moments when we are inclined to slander ourselves. These are the kinds of words that haunt us and plague us for years on end.” That is SO very true!

I have made mistakes over the years, from walking away from God, to marrying a non-believer and then finding myself divorced and living away from my family, to then moving onto a now failed relationship with my daughter’s father, and the list goes on. I have made many mistakes. I wish that I had not made those mistakes, but I did. I tell myself over and over that I only did what I knew best to do at the time, but that does not take away how I really feel deep down inside; hurt, shame, regret and so on. I actually find it very hard to forgive myself for being so, what I consider to be, stupid and for making those mistakes. Now, you can’t get any more negative about yourself than that, or at least I don’t think so. And that is where I am going wrong.

Jennifer helps to explore why I am going about it all wrong, and that is because I, like many others, have “borrowed unbecoming beliefs from other people and hung them in our thought closet. We have grabbed clumsy considerations and careless characterizations and make them part of our wardrobe even when they didn’t come close to fitting.” I believe that I have done exactly that. My life has not lived up to the expectation of what it was imagined to be, and so because of that I have allowed the so called failure of achieving the dream of what is largely considered to be the norm in life dictate what I say to myself now.

Now that I am older and somewhat wiser than what I was even a year ago, I now see that I learnt the hard way that I need to “refuse to let untruths and destructive words and thoughts occupy prime space” in my mind. I firmly believe that this happened because my focus was on achieving the ‘dream’ life and not achieving the life that God mapped out for me. I was way off course, and my mind, heart and soul suffered. I was living the wrong life; my focus was all wrong! My focus was not on God. I was not obedient to Him.

Jennifer talks of the apostle Paul and his message in 2 Corinthians 10:5 and how we need to “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Basically, we need to take control of what we think and match it up to what Jesus would think. “...the structure of life shaped by Christ...” is how The Message translates the end of the verse. Life...shaped...by...Christ. Not by us, not by what our parents think, not by what our workmates think, but by what Christ thinks; how He wants our lives to be shaped.

I asked myself if I could ever imagine God saying that I was a failure; that I just can’t get anything right, that I really screwed up in my life. The answer is no. He made me, He loves me (just as I am!), He is shaping me, He is guiding me; He sent His Son to die for me! Why then would He ever think about me what I do? He wouldn’t...period. So I need not either! I need to find some of that truth that Jennifer talks about; get rid of the old labels and mindsets and replace them with truth.

One key is to speak wisely to yourself. Jennifer writes that it is essential. This can be achieved by being like Jesus and using gracious and powerful words, which He was renowned for. Not damaging words, and not harsh words like we use on ourselves. Jennifer uses the example of Luke 22:4 where after Jesus had spoken in the synagogue, “All spoke well of him and were amazed [or astonished] at the gracious words that came from his lips.” Do I speak gracious words to myself? Jennifer asks, “Are they kind? Or are they harsh? Do your words condemn you?” No, I do not always speak graciously to myself, my words about myself are not always kind, they can be very harsh and yes, they do condemn me. I am, of course, my own worst enemy, my own worst critic, and the unrealistic benchmarker in my life. I need to be my friend and my encourager and I need to cut myself a little slack!

In saying that, I need to follow Marilyn Meberg’s example and work on disciplining myself a little bit more when my negative self talk starts. Jennifer interviewed Marilyn (a "professional talker"), and Marilyn explained how she counsels herself. When she knows that the negative self talk is starting, she disciplines herself. Marilyn says, “That’s instruction. That’s good for me. That builds me up.” But, like with all of us, when she feels “condemned, like I’m not good enough, that’s not instructive. That’s destructive.” Very true words spoken! Marilyn sums it up by saying, “Instruction brings life, condemnation brings destruction.”

We all know that instruction is important and how damaging words can be when they are not the right ones. We all experience it on a daily basis in our lives. I know from being the mum of a near 5 year old that I must discipline her to teach her the right way of living. I must provide instruction and not condemnation. This is one of the areas I berate myself over; the fact that I feel that I’m not doing a good enough job in raising my daughter. I have realised that there is no way I can do my best job with her if I firstly can’t do a good job at disciplining myself. I need to show myself some unconditional love, as well as tough love, and get my mind where it should be and talk to myself nicer.

My words to myself, and my daughter for that matter, need to be wise and truthful ones. These types of “words are never harsh or unkind. They are gracious.” These types of “words are never wimpy or without power. They have authority.” We can find this graciousness and authority. And we can find the truth. We need to “counsel ourselves with truth”, not lies, not with words that make no sense to where we’re at now in our lives.

“Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.” – Colossians 4:5 (NLT)

This is an amazing verse as it sums up what we need to do, not only in our conversations with others, but more importantly in our conversations with ourselves. As Jennifer writes, the “...‘Everyone’ includes you.” I am going to start listening more to what I am saying to myself. I am going to be nicer to myself. I am going to start speaking the truth to myself! I have always battled with telling myself the truth about me. I have always worried too much about what other people have thought of me instead of what I think of myself. And most importantly, I have missed the most important element in all of this: God.

Jennifer writes how we “can’t remove those hurtful thoughts, words, and memories, but by the power of God, you can drain them of their personal control over you.” I read this sentence and 5 important words stood out (I was taken aback actually) – BY THE POWER OF GOD. He has forgotten my sins, He has cleansed me and made me new and He still loves me just as much as when He first entered my name into His book of life. I cannot forget what I have said about and to myself, but I can speak to myself better. I can take captive “every thought to the obedience of Christ.”

Yes to God Tuesday - Chapter One: Not So Well with My Soul...

Week one of the new Yes to God Tuesday study has started, which is hosted by Lelia at Write from the Heart. The book for this study is “Self Talk, Soul Talk” by Jennifer Rothschild, and I’m one chapter in and I’m impressed by the book already. The truth be known, she had me at the Foreword by Robyn McGraw, who described what an inspiration that Jennifer is! And believe me, after one chapter in, you will agree!

Chapter one is titled “Not So Well with My Soul”, with the opening line being “It is well with my soul.” Jennifer points out after this that while we may think that all “is well with my soul”, in fact it’s most probably not! The worst thing being; we don’t even realise it! The amount of negative self talk that we manage to bombard ourselves with every day without even knowing it is enough to give me a headache just thinking about it. As I already know from my own experience, WE are our own worst enemy. We undertake “personal attacks” on ourselves with it being “me against me”, as Jennifer most simply points out.

Jennifer quotes John Milton, who “wisely observed” that “the mind is its own place, and in itself, can make Heaven of Hell, and a Hell of Heaven.” What truer words can be spoken about the mind? None, I’m sure of it. We must be mindful of what we are saying to ourselves. We must be on guard at all times, as the enemy is laying in wait for us to say that one thing that will then lead into a full blown negative conversation with ourselves, and we can go from feeling blissfully happy to terribly depressed in about a minute flat...if that!

To combat this, Jennifer writes that “knowing what to say to your soul is one of the most reliable ways to make sure it remains well.” Under the heading of “My Thought Closet”, Jennifer lists examples of box labels that she has stored away in her thought closer over the years. One of them hit me like a brick today while reading, and it was “you should have done a better job”. This instantly made me think that “I should have known better”, to which my thoughts replied, “But I didn’t know any better at the time but I do now.” That is an example of how we need to train ourselves to know what to say to our soul when the negative thoughts creep in. I’m not saying that I’ve got the whole thing down pat, but through the help of some friends, and a good dose of “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer, I have managed to get this far!

I have struggled with “I should have known better” for quite some time now. From a failed marriage to being in a relationship with my daughter’s father knowing full well that it was going nowhere at all to now raising a child as a solo mum. Yes, I SHOULD have known better, but punishing myself now for not knowing better then is not going to change a thing. All it will do is cause me to think more negative self talk, which is damaging to my soul.

Next Jennifer moves onto talking about soul talk and she writes how her “faith has led me to the Bible to find what to say to my soul.” This is where we can find the truths we need to hear in our soul. This is where we can learn to re-educate our battered thoughts, and fill our “closet with some more appealing, better-fitting self talk!” Jennifer writes 3 very important words after referring to the Bible, and they are - "SPEAKING...THE...TRUTHS". We need to say them out loud! Not only will these truths manifest into a more positive way of thinking, but at the same time they will serve as an open opposition to the enemy who is working so hard at making us think negative thoughts.

Jennifer gives many examples of short, sharp verses we can use in such situations, and here are a few -

“Awake, my soul!” – Psalm 57:8
“O my soul...forget not all his benefits.” – Psalm 103:2
“March on, O my soul; be strong” – Judges 5:21

Arming ourselves with the powerful Word of God, in addition to re-training our thoughts, which will then lead to more productive self talk, and soul talk as Jennifer refers to it as, is the answer. We have the resources at our fingertips, so now it’s time to use them.

I love how Jennifer writes that “we have the appalling ability to remember all the wrong things at all the wrong times.” That is SO very true of us mere mortals. It’s such a human, and worldly, way of thinking. We have been trained since birth to more or less always think of the negative before the positive, whereas this is not the way God intended it to be. You don’t read about Jesus always thinking the worst of any given situation in the Bible, do you? No, you don’t, and neither should we. He is our example, so let’s take on board his talk and get some good happening in our minds.

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7 (NASB)

Jennifer writes that, “because your thoughts strongly influence you, you must learn to govern them with some truthful soul talk.” Therein is the answer to overcoming negative and damaging self and soul talk. We must be on guard, and we must pray for God to always guide us and protect us in this area, but we must take the first step and govern our thoughts. Only we can do that.

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Roman 12:2