"Me Day" ... Um, No ... HIS DAY!

I enjoyed “Me Day” on Thursday just gone. I feel rather guilty referring to my day off as “Me Day” as it was more about Him than me, hence the title of this post. It was a chance to rest from the daily grind, renew my spirit and refresh my outlook. From the get-go, outside of a niggling day long headache, the day was wonderful!

Isaiah 32:17 spoke to me first – “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.”

After a somewhat interesting month where I’ve had to deal with some turmoil, this verse spoke of the three things that I have been seeking – peace, quietness and confidence.

The second verse to speak to me was Psalm 19:1 – “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” This verse was accompanied by this quote from Gloria Gaither –

“This day let our actions and attitudes be in sync with all creation. May be articulate praise with the moments we are given today.”

I think I got the purpose of “Me Day” at that point.

God’s love needs to be displayed through me ... first and foremost in everything I think, say and do.

Onto the shopping centre I then ventured to a cafe to enjoy a coffee and read. My sights and thoughts along the way included the following, as written in my notebook once at the cafe:

“Old men sitting outside the supermarket chatting while their wives shopped ... a mum saying “see you later” to her tantrum throwing toddler at the main door.

A visit to the new stationery shop with young girls and boys looking at all the goodies, wanting to make the right purchase. Memories of my early teenage years flood back of me doing the same thing. Walking through to the cafe and seeing two young teenage girls sitting on some steps looking pretty, not returning my smile, looking at me with trepidation, me knowing full well that “image” is taking over their lives.

My thoughts move to being thankful for where I am at in life, despite the difficult times. I have God's love to share with others and I have to start doing that from today. THE MOMENT IS NOW.

Thoughts then go straight to my girlie. Love and smiles abound. I can do this. Even though we have bad times and she frustrates me no end (and vice versa!), I can do what God needs me to do; steward this child, this gift from God, into a life filled with richness.

I am not God’s purpose. He is using ME to show Himself to others.”

My cafe reading included continuing Liz Curtis Higgs’ book titled “Embrace Grace” and the chapters on embracing faith and truth. I then moved onto reading through the first chapter titled “Doing What’s Right” from Charles Swindoll’s book, “A Life Well Lived.” I then did some study questions from Micca Campbell’s “An Untroubled Heart” to finish off her amazing book.

All food for my soul and spirit on this day that I feel God used to strengthen me. He used the day to take me back to the basics of my walk with Him and to reassure me that through Him I can be all that He needs me to be, despite the fact that on the most part I feel I do a terrible job!

There are many, many verses that I read that spoke to me, but the following two stood out the most:

“We must obey God rather than man.” – Acts 5:29

“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” – Psalm 118:6

A timely reminder about where my focus needs to be. Even when manking conspires against me, when life here on earth gets a bit tiresome and unfair, I have the assurance of God's protection and love over me.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the opportunity to draw closer to you; to gain strength and reassurance from only you. May my walk here on earth among mankind be fruitful and grace-filled. May I live simply under the shelter of your wings and may Your purpose for me be fulfilled. In Jesus’ Wonderful Name, Amen.

Yes to God Tuesday: Chapter Seven - Calm Down: I Have Stilled and Quieted My Soul...

This chapter of Self Talk Soul Talk by Jennifer Rothschild (our Yes to God Tuesday study hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart) is just amazing and although I haven’t been able to write much over the last few weeks, I feel compelled to write on this chapter. The first sentence that stood out to me was this – “Rage simmered just below the surface of my placid demeanor.” Now I don’t profess to have a placid demeanor, but rage certainly does simmer just below the surface. When does that rage come out? At night when both Jasmine and I are tired and she just does not do as I tell her to. It comes out when we are running late in the morning and all I want to do is for her to keep her head still as I do her hair. These are the times when my simmering rage comes out. I’m sorry to say that I am an anger monster, and have been quite a bit of late, but I don’t want to be, hence why Chapter 7 has been so good for me.

Jennifer says in four words something else that hit home when she recounts kicking a hole in the wall – “…I had no excuse.” And she is right; she had no excuse and I have no excuse now to act the way that I do. There are reasons why I feel as I do, but as this chapter goes on to explain, it’s how I react to those reasons then determines the end outcome. And in this area I get a big F for fail.

I always appreciate a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson and this one does not disappoint – “Coolness and absence of heat and hast indicate fine qualities.” I don’t display many fine qualities at times and I really dislike myself for that. Jennifer writes how “Our reactions reveal the temperature inside our thought closet. We can use soul talk to keep the thermostat at a cool and steady temperature. We must learn to still and quiet our souls, to tell our souls to calm down.” Going on this, the temperature of my thought closet would closely resemble what Hades must be like because it gets blazing hot in there. And yes, Jennifer is right in that I must use my soul talk to get my soul to quieten down, and I mean NOW!

And this is why Chapter 7 is so wonderful and amazing. It tells me how I can do that, and I sure do need as much help as I can get! John 14:27 tells us where we can find the peace to help us quieten our soul. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.” Yes, our Lord Jesus telling us simply where we can find the peace we need; in Him and not the world. This is in keeping with my theme for my week, where I have been reminding myself that true peace and happiness only comes from God and will never come from any person or any thing on earth. What great timing. Jennifer then writes that “we need to acknowledge why we have angry, smoldering embers in our thought closets to begin with. We must identify the source of our anger.” Ouch, that in itself hurts!

The next section in the chapter is titled 'Loosen the Grip'. The title explains it all. Yes, we need to loosen the control that we falsely believe that we have over our lives. Outside of, as Jennifer writes “...our attitudes…our responses to circumstances…our choice to seek God…our determination to be still before Him…our choice to acknowledge that He is God – and we are not!” we have no control whatsoever. It’s crazy to think that as Christians we may even think that we have control. We should know better, but we…I…don’t.

Jennifer writes that “So much of the anger in our lives comes from the unmet expectations and frustration that we don’t have ultimate control.” I agree totally! I couldn’t control that my ex-husband decided that other women and substances were more attractive than me. I couldn’t control that my daughter’s father, my now ex-partner, found his addiction more enticing than providing a good home for me and his child. I have no control over the fact that the man I love is separated from me by a vast expanse of water and I don’t know when I’ll see him next. And I now have no control over the fact that outside of providing love, support and prayers, I cannot make my daughter like going to school and after school care any more than I can understand quantum physics (see my postscript below for further on this topic). It frustrates me and also makes me feel helpless, but that is kind of how I’m supposed to feel so I can rely on God.

I thought that because Jasmine was used to being at pre-school all day that she would adapt well to school. I was all too “ready to embrace the mirage” as Jennifer refers to having control over our life events. I miscalculated and was not prepared enough. It’s “a pleasant daydream at best and a cruel fantasy at worst.” Jennifer “has ushered ultimate peace into (her) thought closet" by thinking the following –

“…we recognize that God has ultimate control over our lives and over the world, so we choose to trust Him even when we don’t like or understand His ways. We loosen our tight grip and begin to hold the precious things in our lives with an open hand. We trust His plan, His ways, and His goodness more than we trust our own.”

Jennifer then talks about raising fists to heaven in anger towards God. I have to say that I have never been angry at God for anything that has happened in my life. Having grown up knowing the difference between right and wrong, but still going off the narrow path, it’s not His fault that I am where I am right now. It’s because of Him that I am where I am right now, and as I learnt through Laura from The Wellblog today, if it had not have been for the mistakes I have made I would not have my little girl. My life is not under my control, only certain aspects are. My life is exactly where God knew it would be, and it is under His control.

Jennifer writes that “Peace comes when we loosen our grip and let down our guard before our heavenly Father.” I need to do that so badly that it’s frightening. I knelt down beside my bed the other night and cried big droplet sized tears as I told God why I felt as miserable as I did. Amazingly, I felt better afterwards. I allowed myself to be still for a moment as He instructs us to do in Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God.” I need to know that He IS in control, He IS Lord and Master over all, and that He IS leading me where I am meant to be. I just need to loosen that grip.

The last three sections of this chapter are titled 'Washouts on the Path to Peace', 'Fire in the Closet' and 'Trading Your Anger for Peace'. ‘Washouts’ talks about negative mindsets, anger over adversity and stubborn defiance. Washouts are the things “that will block our journey as we pursue the peace that Jesus grants us.” Regarding negative mindsets, I love how Jennifer writes that “the real source of anger isn’t a tough circumstance or a difficult person; it’s the way we choose to think about that person or circumstance.” I know that to be true only too well every two weeks when Jasmine goes to her father’s house. At the moment I am driving her there and back (approx 2 ½ hours of travel each second weekend) and I start getting anxious about an hour before the weekend even begins.

It is the next section – 'Anger Over Adversity' – that has the most pencil markings in my copy of Jennifer’s book. Jennifer writes that “what I have learned about this matter of adversities and hardships. Accept them. Don’t let them fill you with anger.” I was taught that lesson about 12-18 months ago regarding the situation with my daughter’s father. I react better than I ever used to, but I have let my guard slip lately. Marcus Aurelius says, “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” Wise words indeed! My reaction to my daughter’s father and his actions are much more detrimental to Jasmine and I than the man himself (also see postscript about this). Jennifer writes that “You can’t often change adverse circumstances, but you can change your reaction to it.”

The last two sections of the book cover using water to quench the flames of the thought closet instead of gasoline. Proverbs 15:1 says that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I need to be more mindful of how I speak to myself. My “soul needs the water of the Word” for my thought closet. I need to “appreciate” myself and “find truth and speak it to” my soul. “The words you speak to yourself – the thoughts you dwell on, receive, and personalize – can either cause anger to ignite or allow peace to prevail.”

Jennifer writes about Thomas Merton observing that “man is not at peace with his fellow man because he is not at peace with himself, and he is not at peace with himself because he is not at peace with God.” I long to find that peace.

“Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.” – Romans 5:1-2

“When you have peace with God, you can have peace from God – the peace that Christ brings.”

“So when things heat up, tell your soul to calm down.”

A postscript to this post (even before I publish it) is that I received a revelation through admonishment this evening that my actions, my reactions, and my apparent but not obvious until now ignorance towards the affect that these things have on my daughter is the reason that she is like she is at present. I knew that my angry outbursts and lack of self-control in this area was the cause of hers, but it wasn’t until these words were given to me tonight – “so you are obviously crying a lot and so is she” – that it really dawned on me. Every single little thing that I do is affecting my child and I have been oblivious to it. I have just spent the last 30 minutes lying on the floor listening to Third Day and crying and praying to Jesus and my heavenly Father for forgiveness and guidance. Admonishment, even if in just eleven short words, is difficult to deal with, but it has been the best thing for me after this week. Thank you goes to my faithful admonisher and covering, who I know says what he says with love.

Sandals and Stomping...

I've been enlightened by my lovely friend Lelia from Write From the Heart once again. This week she posted a blog titled As to Lelia...I mean the LORD! and it is a fabulous read! Pop over and have a look, and see if you come away feeling as enlightened as I did!

Ever since reading Lelia's post, and the practical way that she used Jesus as an example in regard to His sandals and stomping, I have been thinking about my own behaviour as far as shoe throwing and chucking a tantrum are concerned. Did I pass the "Jesus test"? No, I get a big, fat 'F' for FAIL!

I have a short fuse, a fast mouth and an even slower brain when the first two are put in action. I have frown lines as proof, and I also have some enemies masquerading as friends as a result. Does this make me feel like the worst person in the world? Yes, it certainly does. So, this is why Lelia's words about Jesus and how he would act have made an impact.

I don't want to have a short fuse, a fast mouth or a slow brain when I get angry. I want to be cool, calm and collected. I did a quick search on Bible Gateway on the words 'slow to anger' and nine results appeared. The words compassionate, gracious, great in power, abounding in love and more appeared alongside slow to anger. This is what our God is, and this is what Jesus is, and this is what I should be. I am not who I am supposed to be in the Lord...

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. - Psalm 86:15

He is all of these things, and He is also forgiving. Thank YOU Lord for this reminder. I have sinned. I have acted in a way that I should not have. The Lord does not tell us to never be angry, but He does tell us that we must be SLOW TO ANGER.

I will remember these words. I will think twice before I take off my sandals and throw them (not literally though!). I will remember the example of Jesus who, like our Father, is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abouding in love and faithfulness. I will be faithful to my Father and set the example of the person who He made me to be, not who I have become and dislike.

Thank You dear Lord for giving us the blessing of Lelia and her open and honest blog posts. Thank You also for your Word, which is my instruction manual on how I am to do life - the life that YOU intended me to live. In Jesus' Wonderful Name, Amen

Giving Thanks...

"Take opportunities to give thanks by taking turns around the dinner table to express what you are thankful for."

This was the "Motivation for Moms" snippet of advice on my page today and as I read it I thought of how my little girl Jasmine does her own expression of giving thanks each night.

As we say her prayers, "Now I lay me down to sleep..." and after we have "God blessed" everyone we always thank Him for a lovely day. After this Jasmine keeps going with her thanks, and every day she thanks Him for the special little things that have happened during the day. Usually it is simple things like, "thank you for my mummy letting me use the computer", or "thank you for my mummy for singing songs with me in the car", or “thank you for having fun with my friends at pre-school”, but it is thanks nevertheless, and it gladdens my heart.

The most delightful thing about all of this is that Jasmine, not I, started this and she sees the value in it. I feel it is God touching her heart and showing me that I must also thank Him for the wonderful things that have come across my path each day. They are usually just simple things, but in this busy and hectic world we live in, it is the simple things that do mean the most, as my daughter has taught me.

Dear Lord, thank you for this valuable lesson from my sweet little girl. You are to be thanked for everything, and I mean EVERY thing, that comes along in my day, whether it is good or not so good. You are amazing in how you touch hearts, whether it be a little 4 year old girl, or a 38 year old mummy who is thankful for her little girl's example of giving thanks. In Jesus' Holy Name I thank you, Amen



“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” - 1 Chronicles 16:34

Live By Example...

Living by example was the theme last month at my church. As the solo parent of an impressionable 4 year old girl, this was a timely and important message for me. I must watch what I say and do in front of my daughter, as she is a sponge and takes in everything I say and do.

Titus 2:7-8 say this, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”

Certain circumstances over the last week have also brought this lesson to my attention, but this time with adults. Such things include the way one speaks about people who have hurt or offended us in the past, right down to how one portrays oneself to others, both in person and even here in cyberspace. A word here, a comment there, even if we think it’s just a bit of fun; they all add up to advancing the enemy’s cause, even without us realising it straight away, or at all.

We are told in 1 Peter 5:8 to be both self-controlled and alert as the devil, our enemy, prowls around looking for someone to devour. To me this means guarding myself from falling into his trap by saying and doing ungodly words and deeds.

In my life as a solo mum it is imperative that I guard against such attacks from the enemy, as I know he is laying in wait for me to slip up so that I will set a bad example for my daughter. He has caught me up more often than not in times gone by, but I have built up, and am continuing to build up, my resistance towards his attacks by spending time in the Word and arming myself to speak out against the devil in God’s name.

1 Thessalonians 5:6 reiterates that we must “…not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.” The first book of Peter also tells us too that we are to "Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (1 Peter 5:9).

Being a Christian doesn’t make us immune to the enemy’s temptations; it actually puts us right in the firing line. The devil doesn’t discriminate between Christians and non-Christians; he wants us all. We as Christians need to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves, against the temptations of the enemy, and we are more than ably aided by God to do that. God cannot be tempted, or tempt with evil, so we know exactly who is responsible for all temptation.

A Christian must “…not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry.” (1 Peter 4:2-3).

To me this means that we are to be mindful in how we act. We need to guard our thoughts and our tongues, and we should not inadvertently validate someone else’s bad actions or words by reverting back to our former way of thinking, acting and speaking. We should honour God in everything we do and say. This doesn’t mean we need to distance ourselves from our non-Christian friends, but more so that we must be an example to them of how God works for good in our lives. God wants His children back with Him, not further away.

James 1:26 says, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless”. If we claim to love the Lord, and praise Him with our lips, we should then guard our lips against wrong talk. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” – James 3:9-10.

It is difficult at times to keep a tight reign on one’s thinking, which in turn is then acted out in words and deeds, but it is imperative that we do. I have learnt this through my daughter. Some of her behaviour is not acceptable, but she is a child and the majority of her bad behaviour, like with the good, is learned behaviour. I do not have control over what she is exposed to when not in my care, but I am 100% responsible for when she is, and this is my lesson – live by example! And most importantly – glorify God as I live by example.

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – Romans 15:5-6