Abuse is Abuse, Thanks Carlos...

Ladies. Abuse is abuse. Verbal, spiritual, physical. It's all abuse. Don't make excuses for a man who abuses you. It's not worth it. -- Carlos Whittaker (@loswhit)

I have a lot of respect for Carlos Whittaker as he tells life like it is. He's not ashamed to talk about his weaknesses and struggles, and he's also not scared to talk about the injustice of life here on earth. Throughout all of it he gives glory to God by his openness and honesty.

This tweet above resonated with me earlier today because I've suffered from verbal and emotional abuse, even a little bit of physical, if the truth be known. While I'm no longer involved on an immediate level with my abusers, the damage they did has left scars. Scars that can't be seen but are felt whenever I am, or anyone else around me is, placed in a similar situation that I once was.

Call it post-traumatic stress (PTS) if you like, because I believe that we all suffer from it to a certain degree based on bad experiences we've had. And it takes a lot of strength to overcome it. One way I am slowly overcoming mine is by remembering who I am (loved, adored, cherished, valued) and whose I am (God's girl, daughter of the King) and that regardless of what has occurred in my past, God only wants for me to be healed, to suffer no more.

How can I not suffer when I feel my defences and resolve crumbling at the mere hint of a reminder?

This is how...

By calling on the name of Jesus when I feel the PTS coming on.
Remembering that those who hurt me did so because they are hurt people.
Guiding my thoughts to a new place so that I look to the future and not the past.

Recovering from PTS can be a long process irrespective of the viciousness and kind of abuse inflicted by the abuser. We all get wounded by abuse and we all carry scars from it.

One way, and my way, to overcome and work to move on from abuse, is to leave my past where it belongs, focus on Jesus and His unconditional love, and look towards the future free of the abusers from my past.

Paula xo