Control comes not by lauding it over others, but by showing a true heart of love that is evidenced by your actions. You may think you are controlling someone by withholding something that is necessary, but in reality you are withholding something from yourself. Love, freedom and a truly caring heart.
Don't try and control others with a heart filled with malice and hurt. Let love take over and see what true control really is:the ability to control yourself, which in turns radiates out in love.