Part of my psychology process last year involved me picking out a card that had a drawing of birds and a quote on it, and using it to remember what I gained from the sessions.
My card read along the lines of bundling up other people's expectations of me and giving them back. From teachers, to employers to family, we all have expectations placed on us that we just cannot fill, which is precisely why I sent mine back.
I've discovered another set of expectations that I must also deal with. The one where I set a level of expectation about another person, only to have them fail to deliver and disappoint. From work colleagues, ex-spouses and partners, friends and family, I've known disappointment on many levels.
So, what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to remember that people will...
Lie to me
Think and speak ill of me
Create a false view of me
And I'm going to remember that I will do the same to others, which is why I'm not setting any level of expectation with people I deal with any longer.
Yes, they will fail and disappoint me, but I'm not going to take that as a slight against me. I'm going to take that as the difference in our level of integrity. A chasm between our beliefs. A void filled with lack of understanding. The difference between you, me and God.
See, people make God look good, even without trying. He respects, loves, adores, and yearns for me.
He's not an "I am all that" kind of God
He's not a "I'll have my cake and eat it" kind of God
He's not like us; He is better than us, yet He still loves us.
I need to see people as God does. I need to see their fallibility. Their potential. Their insecurities. That, I just know, will explain why people can be just plain strange.
God is showing me through all the different people and situations in my life that He is the only One I need. I don't need the ex-partner who had his cake and ate it too, even though he thinks I had no idea he did. I don't need the ex-work colleague who didn't want to be told when to go to lunch, even though it's what they were meant to so. I don't need the people who just cannot look past themselves to see what is of benefit to others. I don't need them, and God is reminding me that He is all I need. The Aloha and Omega.
He is showing me that while relationship with the people who genuinely care about me and my daughter is vitally important, I don't need the haters, liars, and cheaters.
All I need is God.