Today I was weak. I was literally unable to move. My despair was debilitating. With an almost 6 year old to look after by myself while still suffering from a nasty head and chest cold, it took everything I had to get through the morning. I was blessed by phone calls of support from two of my best friends who brightened my spirit and provided the much needed diversion from my agony. I was also blessed by laughing uncontrollably at Jasmine learning how to hula hoop! Then, to top it off I was blessed by a friend arranging to meet us at the park for a play date with her daughter.
The biggest blessing of the day, however, was the knowledge that throughout my despair I was able to rest in the comfort that the one man who loves me unconditionally and with an undying love gave His life so I could have mine in eternity with Him. It reminded me that all I do and all I have done is and has not been for nothing.
I was told otherwise during the week and it hurt. It hurt a lot. Miscommunication, misunderstanding, misinterpretation...call it what you may, but to be told “thanks for nothing”...well, that really hurt. Even Jesus wouldn’t say that. You know why? Because everything we do, whether it involves hurt, happiness, a brief encounter or a long lasting relationship, is for something! Jesus dying on the cross was for something. The mere fact that I am raising my daughter alone is for something. To have been married and divorced happened for something.
I believe that to say that anything we did in our life was for nothing is foolish thinking.
In Ecclesiastes we are told that there is a time for everything. God has pre-destined everything that happens in life. Even if the situation we’re in doesn’t work out the way we planned (and I can hear God chuckling already at that notion), it worked out the way God planned it.
The happiness and pure joy I experienced over the last few years of my life happened to give back to me the part of me that I lost when my marriage broke down at age 27. The sorrow and grief I felt back then happened to prepare me for the present day when I find myself travelling life’s road and dealing with the usual emotions that follow when a relationship breaks down.
One verse that kept me going today was Hebrews 12:3 – “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” I will not fear anything as He has a purpose for me. I will not lose heart when I feel that I cannot cope. I will remember that Jesus suffered more pain and indignation in one day than I will suffer in a lifetime. He has had people say worse things to Him than “thanks for nothing”.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for nurturing me today. Thank You for bringing blessings into my life today that reminded me of Your faithfulness. Thank You for loving me with an undying and unconditional love, despite my faults and failures. Thank You for Jesus. In His wonderful name, Amen.