I have a quick brain, sharp tongue and a loving heart. This is who God made me to be and after 40 years I've finally realised that this is OK. Actually, it's more than OK. God made me to accept the thoughts that I know He places in my mind. He made me to shoot off my sharp tongue when the situation allows for it. And He made my heart, my life force that had a hole in it for the first seven years of existence, to beat strongly for Him.
Do you ever feel as though you just don't know who you are supposed to be?
From birth we have expectations placed on us by our parents, siblings, extended families, friends, teachers, employers, sports coaches, peers, partners and more. When you really stop and think about the stages in life, there are a lot of influences that affect who we are!
I was brought up in a Christian home; even though attending church was sporadic due to moving and also that my dad stopped attending church when I was five. I was raised to do the right thing, get through school, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after.
Expectations. The dreams of others. The "norm". Ideals of society.
I have actually done all these things, but just not in the way they were first imagined to be! I still do the right thing, I finished high school and secured a job, I was married and I had a child, and, thanks to God and His mercy and grace, am living happily ever after.
I read a quote the other day about how we try to live up to the standards of a world that really has no idea how to live! And it's true! Why do we, as Christians AND non-Christians, do it to ourselves? The one major lesson I've learnt over the last five years of my life is that the world does actually have NO idea how to really live. I thought that all the things the world thinks of as the "norm" were the most important in life. But you know what? Out of all of the above, to me the most important is happiness. I have found that happiness - true happiness - comes from loving God and loving me for who He made me to be. And it's not so much happiness...it is contentment. Being satisfied with who I am, with what I have and by the God who loves me.
The world wants women (and men!) to look a certain way. The world wants us to all have the best houses and cars. The world wants us to wear the finest clothes and be the right size to fit into them. Actually, what is the right size? We don't know what God looks like exactly, yet we are made in His image, so how on earth do we know what the right size is!? The world wants people to toe the line. To conform and who follow suit. And where has the world's benchmark come from? That's right. Satan the speaker of lies.
Well, that is just not me. Yes, I do have restrictions placed on me as far as having to work, to behaving in a certain way, to treating others nicely, etc. But as far as being me, the authentic me that God created, well, I'm just finding out who she is and I actually think I like her! And I even like the aspects about me that are not the "norm".
As I said above...I have a quick brain, a sharp tongue and a loving heart. For a few people who have experienced all three put together, you know only too well that what I say comes from God, comes from the heart, and comes because I love and care about you. I only want to see you fulfilled in who God made YOU to be.
I get serious when I know God wants me to share something. I have frown lines because I concentrate a lot. I don't like being interrupted. Actually, there are a lot of things about me that are just ME. I can't change them, but over the years (especially the last few) I've learnt how to subdue some of the more unsavoury traits that I have. I am more patient with people, I try to not let my emotions show as much (or rule me!), and I have let my softer side come out more. The side that knows and feels God's love in my head AND heart.
I've lived my life failing to live up to the expectations of people! What a true waste. What I've learnt is that I don't even have to live up to God's expectations because He knows me inside and out and loves me completely and unfailingly. What I must do, though, is aspire to be like Jesus. He is my benchmark. He is the reason I am free. I was told last night that I "drip Jesus" and that is so I can "splash Him onto others". What a compliment! But you know what is so great about it? It's that HE can be seen. Through me HE can be shared.
It's OK to be me. It's OK to be you. Trust in who you know God is showing you to be. Don't be discouraged or disappointed by the standards of the world. Don't let the failings and unrealistic expectations of the world dictate your life. God has SO MUCH MORE in store for you. Ask Him to show you. Lean in on Him and trust Him to do so.