Saturday, 12 February 2011

Life With Little White Pills...

I take a little white pill to get through every day. I won't hide the fact, or be embarrassed by the fact. Why? It's because, at this point in my life, I need it. And I'm not the only one who needs it. There are countless others in the world (one in four) who need it.

People who need help every single day of their lives to correct a chemical imbalance that is the illness called anxiety and depression.

I have a family history of anxiety and depression. I've suffered from anxiety and depression on and off for over ten years. I've experienced the highs and lows of this illness. I've even had what I consider the worst ever anxiety attack at my work place that left me numb on one side of my body and unable to walk.

But do I define myself as an anxious and depressed person? I used to. But now, I am a woman who is dealing with - overcoming - anxiety and depression. The condition may never leave me, or maybe it will. Only God knows that. But in the mean time, I will continue to take my little white pill, do my breathing exercises, avoid negative people and situations, and see my psychologist and counsellor.

Someone else who takes little white pills is Carlos Whittaker. I've been following Carlos aka @loswhit on Twitter for quite some time now. And I also receive daily email updates from his blog page, Ragamuffin Soul. Carlos blogged about his need for little white pills yesterday. I'm so glad he did. The greater general public need to be made more aware of the illness known as anxiety and depression. Carlos is helping spread the word through his own personal circumstance.

I know that God has my illness in hand. I know that one day, by His grace, a turning point will come when I either have it or I don't. I'm praying for the latter, but if God gives me it as a "thorn in my side" forever, then I will accept that. For the moment I take my little white pill and pray.


  1. Paula, I'm so thankful for people like you who are honest and transparent. I occasionally deal with anxiety and depression but for me, it's always situational. And when it hits me, the situation is always something major. The rest of the time I'm fine.

    But many people struggle with this and yet are embarrassed to own up to it. Like they are bad Christians to need to take a medication. Or if they prayed more. Bah humbug; I say!

    So, take your white pill and thank the Lord that it helps you. And maybe one day you'll have a miracle and be fully cured. Keep praising God in the midst of it all.

    Sending a hug to you from across the ocean!

  2. Shelia Walsh' story talks about this. I've heard her tell it several times. It brings tears to my eyes every time.

  3. The stigma associated with anxiety and depression is really tragic. I'm glad for my diagnosis. It was the only way I could get help and begin to heal...