Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Putting on My Sassy Shoes...


I've never considered myself 'sassy' before but I am official sassy as of today. I looked the word up on and found some interesting definitions. While I don't mean to be rude, impudent and disrespectful, I know that my manner can appear to be that at times. I do, however, prefer lively, spirited and jaunty, and kind of aspire to be stylish and chic (hehe). The purpose of being a "Sassy Single Blogger" (SSB) is to glorify God while "journeying with Jesus in sassy shoes". Part of this is a link up between SSBs here in blogland. This link up to to learn more about each other by sharing our testimonies.

My testimony, so far, is of a God who never left my side even though I left His. I was born into a Christian family, and for as long as I can remember I went to Sunday school and church. That was until I became ‘legal’ at 18 and decided to leave the narrow path. Fast forward 22 years and I am back on the narrow path and have just sojourned onto a slightly narrower path that now gives me real cause to be called a “Sassy Single Blogger”.

Over the last 20 plus years I have dated, been engaged, married, separated and divorced, back to dating then living together, to having a child out of wedlock to separating, then onto a long distance relationship with the man whom I will always call my soul mate.

How do I feel about all of this? It’s not a matter of how I feel; it’s a matter of how I can glorify God from the experiences of the last 22 years.

I became a Christian at around 12 years of age and was baptised at 16. I was involved in girls rally, Bible study, prayer groups, youth group, Sunday school and church. And then Bam!...all over in a flash once I turned 18 and decided that pursuit of fun, frivolity, dancing and alcohol was a better option than God.

I’ve learnt many lessons in that time, but the lessons have only become clear to me over the last 18 months or so. God has been speaking to me through His Word and what I’ve experienced lately about all things life and love, and He has told me that He is to be all that I need for now.

While I can’t go into detail about any of my relationships, the one thing that I have learnt from them all is that men and women were made differently for a reason and that in the grander scheme of things, all things do actually work together for good. We just don’t realise what that good is as we tend to overlook the instructions God gives us for relationships. I did, anyway...

So where am I now? What can I add onto my testimony? I actually haven’t even begun to scratch the surface here of the last 22 years of my life and what I’ve experienced. That is for God to bring out in His own time so that I can share my lessons with others in a manner so I can (and I love this!) turn my mess into His message.

I am now using this time to get closer to Jesus. To learn more about my Bridegroom and to also learn how to value myself more as the woman God intended me to be. Not someone who blindly sought acceptance through the wrong channels. Not someone who naively trusted men, when all that most of them wanted was just a brief and fun time. Not someone whose low self-esteem caused them to imagine ridiculous scenarios that had no fact or substance to them.

I could go on and on, but I won’t as I know it’s not time. I’m still feeling tender and fragile and am resting under His wings for comfort and support.

I am honoured to be a Sassy Single Blogger and part of this wonderful community of likeminded, and likehearted (yes, I know that’s not a real word, but it sounds appropriate!) single women who pursue to heart of the Bridegroom together with me.


  1. I make up words all the time so you are safe with me ;)

    What a beautiful life Paula. I love how He is still there even when we walk away. I call Him my Constant. Because in my life there have been mountains and valleys and He is in them all.

    I am thrilled you are a SSB!


  2. I am so excited to see how our King works through you Paula.

    I know that you are going to speak to many women's hearts with your posts at Exemplify Online. You are a gifted writer, but above that, your heart is to know Him. xo