Wednesday 15 October 2008

Yes To God Tuesday - Chapter Four: Ms Happiness...


OK, where does one start with Ms Happiness? Well, I will start by saying that I am guilty of being Ms Happiness and will explain why below. I don’t like being labelled as Ms Happiness, so I am praying for change, and soon!

I’ve discovered while doing this study that my daily devotionals, e-devotionals, etc, during any given week seem to be tying in with what I’m learning about myself through the study. This week has been a doozie (I think that’s how you spell that crazy word!) and has been like, “whoa!” to coin a Keanu Reeves catchphrase.

I’ve learnt that if God tells you something twice in a row, then it’s a good idea to listen, and that’s what He’s made me do this week. He has been yip-yapping in my ear all week and the lessons learnt all tie in with how to NOT be Ms Happiness.

So, back to ‘she’ who we all don’t want to be - Ms Happiness. Crystal Boyd nailed it with, “We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we’re frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough…that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together…when…when…” and so on.

Well, you know as well as I do that THIS…IS…NOT…GONNA…HAPPEN! How do I know? I’ve lived it, and I’m now living a life I never imagined that I would be living because I fell for the Ms Happiness propaganda. I tried the marriage thing…nada, I tried the baby thing (bless her little cotton socks)…zilch, and I tried waiting until he got his act together and ended up booting him out as I could see he was never doing to, so zippo on that one too. None of the things that I thought would bring me happiness did. Lessons learned, and hard!

I thought that I could make myself happy, that someone I loved/love could make my happy, and that something I had or did could make me happy. And not once, not twice, but three times over I have been disappointed. Why? It’s like Lisa says – “Seeking an outside source to make us happy will never do the trick in the long term”. I’m in my ‘long term’ now, and I am not married (I am a divorcee), I have the baby (well, a 4 and a half year old), I don’t have the ‘things’ or do the ‘thing’ that I thought would make me happy, and I have learnt, and am still learning, valuable lessons from it all.

The nuts and bolts of it all is this; I don’t care too much for the ‘things’. You know the things I mean. The “oh honey, let’s decide on what kitchen cabinets to install” type of things. I’ve never had the experience of picking out new kitchen cabinets, but I’ve seen what ‘happiness’ it can and cannot bring so I’ll give that a miss. Yes, I’d like to not be living in a 34 year old rented house with the original kitchen cabinets, but outside of the house being clean and tidy, with my daughter and I being able to wear presentable clothes and to drive around in a not too old car, I am pretty well satisfied. I did want the successful job that would make me important and earn me the big bucks, but that fell out of my grasp and now I’m a self-titled support officer (aka servant) to other people, and I enjoy that...most of the time.

I am very guilty, however, of thinking that someone I love can make my world complete. How wrong was/am I!!! Thankfully the Lord has shown me that only He, our Eternal Source of Joy (don’t you just love it!), will ‘complete me’. He will never let me down, He will never make me feel less than the princess I am in His eyes, and He will discipline and admonish me lovingly. Why? Because He likes to give the benefit of the doubt so I can bounce back and learn from the error of my ways and move forward without referring back to ‘my bad’.

The thing that I need to concentrate on now is drawing closer to God so that He can fill my soul with the joy that I so long for. Happiness is defined as a noun and “the quality or state of being happy” and also “good fortune, pleasure, contentment, joy”. Happy is defined as being “delighted, pleased or glad”. Hmmm…delighted in what? Pleased with what? Glad about what? Things, people, what exactly? We know where true happiness lies, however...

Lisa writes how “happiness is not the holy grail. Real joy is where it’s really at. True joy comes from within when we are operating in our life in the way that pleases God”. Amen to that! Happiness is equated to being happy. Smiling, laughing, with everything being A-OK 24/7. But no, life is not like that all the time. There will be times when we are not delighted, pleased or glad. Going by the dictionary’s definition, we cannot feel happiness when it’s described as a “state of being happy”, and when there is good fortune, pleasure and contentment involved.

But we can breathe easy in the knowledge of joy! Joy is where it’s at. Joy in ALL states, whether it is good fortune or bad circumstances; whether we’re well, sick, happy, sad, angry, upset, forlorn, etc. I know for certain that I do not feel happy a lot of the time because things happen that make me the very opposite of happy. But am I joyful? Most of the time, yes, but I am learning through Him how to make myself be joyful in Him ALL of the time.

Solomon, he of untold wisdom bestowed upon Him from God, tried it all and went back to the Source. I tried it (perhaps not all, but most of it) and I am back at the Source, and I know you’ve probably tried it all (or not) and you’re now back at the Source. The Source is telling us something good and we need to listen. WE NEED HIM!

I love Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes 12:1, 13 (NLT) - “Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, ‘Life is not pleasant anymore’...Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty.” Lisa writes the following - “Written so long ago, it’s as if Solomon’s words were written just for us today, in our quest for happiness.”

Our childhood and youth was where we first encountered joy and we, through our vain attempts to get ‘joy’ to be an ongoing trip, forget where the source is and sought it from other means, thus losing our innocence, our purpose and, ultimately, our joy. “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” – Job 8:21

My favourite verse about joy from the selection of verses Lisa gives is this –

“The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.” – Psalm 19:8 (NIV)

This verse is a reminder that the Lord is the ONLY means by which I can get true joy in my heart. His commands are the ONLY way to live a light-filled and joyful life.

So, Ms Happiness, although she may think that she’s ‘all that’, she has NOTHING on our Source. The space craft that I’m going to jettison off into the atmosphere is getting pretty crowded. Bring on Ms Spirituality. If I thought this last week was a tough one, I’m thinking that next week will be...dare I say this word again...a doozie!

12 comments:

  1. Wow! Loved this post Paula. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so transparent.

    I think that Ms Happiness may have contributed to my Post Natal Depression.

    Just like you shared: Lisa writes how “happiness is not the holy grail. Real joy is where it’s really at. True joy comes from within when we are operating in our life in the way that pleases God”. Amen to that! I too am just now learning to be find my fullfilment in operating in our life in a way that pleases God.

    It's a process, but I'm getting there. xo

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  2. Paula, what a wonderful post. I love how God is working in your heart on this one!

    Thanks for sharing. So glad to be on this journey with you,
    Darlene

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  3. Hi Paula, Once again you've spoken to my heart. We even picked the same verse. I relate so much to the things you said.

    It's when I found myself living a life I never thought I would live when I found the true source of Joy.

    I agree everything I've had come my way has been about authenticity and truth. God is definately speaking to us through this study. Draining and exciting all at the same time.

    Love ya,
    Carol

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  4. You got that right sista. Joy is to be in all states regardless of the condition or circumstances are lives happen to be in.

    I'm trying very hard to live this. I know it all too well but I need to live it and feel it within the depths of my spirit.

    I envy those who feel that deep joy and I desire to be there one day.

    Love ya,
    Paula

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  5. Hey there..thanks for visiting my blog. I agree with you...I'm shaking in my boots over next week!

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  6. Paula,
    Thanks so much for sharing where your journey for happiness has taken you, and how God has been actively working in your life, even this week, to help you get around this stuff... and jettison Ms. Happiness with the rest! :)

    May God bless you and continue to guide you as we go on this journey.
    Heather

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  7. Thanks for your comment...
    I just wanted you to know I am praying for you!
    If I could get to you, and ask you how you are doing, and give you a big hug as you talked, (or cried) I would!!!!

    In Christ,
    Heather

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  8. Paula, I've loved reading this post! Thanks for sharing once again. I will pop back later to re-read it I think, but I'm off for my first guitar lesson with my boy in a little while, so I'll get cracking, then I'll post my notes later on tonight. I've only been trying to do just that for the past 3 nights!!! God Bless!

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  9. It is funny how God gets our attention isn't it?? I too find that he will have me read a book, hear a sermon, hear a song all on the same "issue" in my life all within days of each other!! And it does make for "doozy-days"!!

    I love this quote:

    Thankfully the Lord has shown me that only He, our Eternal Source of Joy (don’t you just love it!), will ‘complete me’. He will never let me down, He will never make me feel less than the princess I am in His eyes, and He will discipline and admonish me lovingly. Why? Because He likes to give the benefit of the doubt so I can bounce back and learn from the error of my ways and move forward without referring back to ‘my bad’.

    Growth is painful but we are ALWAYS still HIS princess!! Amen!

    blessings & hugs,
    Kim

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  10. Hey Paula,

    I'm stopping by again, this time to thank you for your kind and encouraging words left on my blog. We do tend to struggle from time to time and this past week was very ugly but your words helped me realize that I am not alone.

    I am doing much better today.

    Blessings, Cindy

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  11. Paula,
    I just looked at your photography blog and am totally humbles. Beautiful.

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  12. Hey, Paula! Hopping over from Lelia's blog to your post. And...it's a great one! So many truths you brought to the surface. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so open. I'll be back to visit.

    Many Blessings,
    Susan

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