Saturday, 4 October 2014

Blogtoberfest2014: Day 4 - Single, Solo, Smiling

I've been a single mum now for eight years and eight months. In that time my daughter's father and I have been through good times and bad times, but we have come out on top. We have a happy and healthy relationship that is helping our daughter regain her confidence and thrive. There was a period a few years ago when changes in his life affected ours. But we have worked through that and life is good. As I write, my daughter is holidaying in Sydney with her dad and his family. She is having a ball, as are his family.

Single parenthood is no joke. I feel blessed that I have only one child to care for as a single mum, but even then it has been tough at times. I have single mum friends who have two, three, four, even five children. Life is a rollercoaster for them, to say the least! What we all have in common though, is the fact that we are blessed beyond measure and were gifted with the responsibility to raise our children.

One mum that inspires me is Chere from A Single Christian Mom's Advice on Making Life Easier. Chere is mum (mom) to her own beautiful daughter and shares some welcoming insights and advice on being a solo parent. One of her posts from last week peaked my interest because it is about comparing ourselves to others. Keeping up with the Joneses, so to speak.

I've found comparison with other single mums (and mums/women in general) a real burden, especially with so much being shared on social media. Some seem to have it all together. Their kids seem to as well. I find that pressure really suffocating. For that reason I have unfollowed some single and not single mums, and women, on social media just so I can have a break. And since commencing full-time university study, not having comparisons has been a blessing. I've had to reduce my activities, namely school and church activities, because I just do not have the time or energy to keep up doing everything that I was once doing.

Chere writes that, "Looking at other families and wishing you had a house like they do, or the two parent family, worrying if you aren't giving your kids all the opportunities other people give their children (or you think), stressing that you aren't the ideal mom that you believe the mom across the street is will make you miserable! Don't try to overcompensate and wear yourself ragged to try and prove that you can be just like that other family you believe have a picture perfect life because no one does!" Amen to that!

I'm so glad that God has allowed me to meet the single mums that I have. Whether they be overseas or at university or my daughter's school. I've been blessed by these ladies through their advice and just the common thread that keeps us together - our "singlemumness" and our kids. God looks after the widows and orphans, and I am very thankful for how He looks after me and my daughter.

In Him Always,


No comments:

Post a Comment