I have just dropped my girlie off at school. I prised myself from her grip as the teacher prepared to start the class. I had one last look as I walked out the door and saw her sitting there with hands on lap with her head down and a sad look on her face. The emotions that are going through her head must be enormous, as I know they are for me. I have returned home for a day of rest from work due to not feeling very well at all; a throbbing head and aching body, which is the lot of our gender. The sadness that fills me at this point is a bit overwhelming and the guilt from not going into work, from leaving my girl at school, from having her go to after school care and not be picked up like the majority of other kids are because I work, and so many more things is also overwhelming. The loneliness I feel from living so far away from my family, and from not having seen my sweetie in over 18 months, consumes me like the darkness when the light is turned out.
I know that I am blessed to be a child of God, of whom I can turn to when I feel like this. Otherwise, I would be a mess. I just would not know what to do. I mean, I honestly don’t know what to do now. I don’t know how to make my daughter feel any joy at the prospect of going to school and after school care every day. I cannot in my capacity force joy upon her. I will pray, and will keep praying, and will turn to the scriptures today while I rest my aching head, weary body and suffering heart and soul. I just have no clue as to what I am supposed to do next, but God does and I shall wait for Him to provide the answers.
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. – Psalm 62:1
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30
PS: Please also pop over to Laced with Grace today, as Debbie from Heart Choices is talking about Rest for the Weary.
PPS: I've just found a wonderful post by Lisa at Sharing Life with Lisa who is doing The LPM Siesta Scripture Memory Team challenge with myself and a couple thousand other women from around the globe. Lisa has posted on writing about a scripture that has special place in one's life, and it just so happens that Psalm 62:1 (above) is mine. It is a special scripture because I can only ever find true rest and true peace in God. No-one in the world or of the world can provide what I need, and no thing in the world or of the world can provide it either. I found a quote by Gerard Majella last night that sums up how I feel - "Who except God can give you peace? Has the world ever been able to satisfy the heart?" God alone is my salvation, my solice, my resting place and my source of everything I need.