I'm delighted in welcoming Bek from Grace Overflowing to my blog today for the first of my "Please, Be My Guest" posts.
I met Bek via Jo Princess Warrior, and while Bek and I have never met IRL, she has become a dear Jesus-Sister. Bek is married and a homeschooling mum to three boys. She writes about her "spiritual walk, learning to live in God's overflowing grace, and striving to live an authentic life for Christ" and is "learning to live my life for God and not compromising along the journey of faith."
As Rachel from The Lazy Christian (who has inspired me with guest blogging) says - "Read her here. Read her there. Follow her here. Like here there. I just know you'll love her everywhere!"
I have dealt with a lot of rejection in my past and had to rely on the Lord to get me to a place where it doesn't dominate my interactions. Though I have come a long way, I still struggle with how I think people see me. Generally, I am wrong with these assumptions and it always makes me take a step back when I find the case to be otherwise. The reality of this has again come to the fore and I am again having to reassess my thoughts about myself.
Now I don't think I have a bad self esteem, I can be quite confident in the right environment. Yet, I have played the pretend game for many years. Behaving a certain way so that others would accept me and keeping a lot of my opinions to myself in case I might offend someone. I have always felt awkward in new situations, like I don't really fit in. I still feel this way sometimes but, with the Lord's teaching, I am learning more and more of who I am in him. My confidence is growing, knowing that he has chosen me and bought me for a price (Isaiah 43:1).
I think the biggest facade we all wear in everyday life is that of having no problems, of being okay. Too often we see someone and say 'Hi, how are you?' but never actually stay around to hear the answer. What is wrong with things not being okay and wanting to know how a person really is? We need to care about the people in our lives enough to await the answer. To care enough for our friends to see when they are putting on a front, and ask again a little gentler.
I have found it so hard to say what is in my heart. Sure there is a time and a place, we speak with people we trust and generally already have an established relationship with. So, how do we get to the stage that we are able to share? Is it the sharing that builds the relationship or the relationship that creates the environment for sharing?
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."~ C. S. Lewis
A friend had this quote on her Facebook status and it got me thinking. Does this mean that giving a piece of your heart leads to the relationships we seek? That we spend the time hoping for the relationships to come so that we can stop all the pretending, yet it is through taking the leap of faith and sharing our hearts that the relationships are actually built?
I feel like I am talking in circles a bit but this is such an important area to think on. There are so many people these days suffering from depression or related illnesses. We have the joys of instant communication, status updates and tweeting our happenings, yet we are more isolated than ever. Is this feeding into the one sided conversation and being happy with the superficial communication this type of media breeds? Is it creating an environment where the facade we now wear is a computer screen and words in an Arial font?
We are relational beings, created in God's image, who sent Jesus to restore our relationship with him. God said that it was not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18) and formed Eve to be in relationship with Adam. Sharing our struggles with each other, enables us to see the truth that we are not alone in our experiences, that the lies of the deceiver are not true. We need to get our worth from our heavenly Father and to share small pieces of our heart with each other.
Depression comes from the feelings of isolation. That you are walking alone in the pain and anguish that is been dealt out and you have nothing to offer, worthless in the eyes of the world. Is the rise in these feelings because we have stopped listening to the answers or it because we have stopped talking about our own hurts?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
You can see Bek's original post here that also includes some inspiring comments. Pop over and leave your own!